Okay, I've been a little erratic lately. Sort of comes with the territory of growing up I think. Funny, most people can blame their issues on their mates, their children, hell even their pets. I don't get those outs. lol

I just found five Thanksgiving cards I forgot to mail. I feel like an ass but still putting them out in the mail. I have bills waiting for my paycheck to come in so I can I send them out. Feels like all I do is work to see the money go out. I think it is that time of the year. Time for depression.

I guess part of it is being home with my father. I am noticing the missing things. My mother not being here any more. His new aches and pains as he ages. The loneliness of being without anyone at the moment. It is just sort of wearing on me. Where did the time go? How did I screw up? Oh trust me, I know I screwed up, I've been told that often enough just don't know where.

I'm behind on my story, only because lately I feel like all I do is work. Hell, I've had a prompt written for two weeks and only last night got to post it. I have my chapter for AH done, haven't had two minutes to type that up either. Forget Nanowrimo. I'd have done better if the month was September or even October. November just has too much crap going on.

I was listening to the news this morning. One commentator was talking saying the government hopes to see more and more stores open on Thanksgiving. If it happens they can cancel Thanksgiving as a national holiday. People aren't interested in their family, only football and shopping. To hear them say that scared me. They were reading statistics. In 1978 stores decorated for Christmas on Thanksgiving. Stores opened at their normal time with special sales from 9am to noon. In the late 1980's the Black Friday shopping blitz began to take off. Stores opened earlier hoping to get people in and spend more money by promising special sales from six am to nine am. By the 90's it was a five am opening for many stores. There was a joke that people would give up their family for a good sale in the 2000 decade. Looks like they were right but were off by a decade. As of now most major chain stores are opening at midnight. Some, like Toys R Us are now opening at 9pm on Thanksgiving evening. What ever way you look at it this means they have to have enough employees working in the store to get it operational two hours before the customers are allowed in. Some retailers have announced if they have enough people shopping at these new hours this year, next year they plan to open at 3pm on Thanksgiving day. End result, greed over family means no more holiday. Most stores are not paying their employees anything extra. So they are told if they don't work they lose their job and health benefits. So they go in to work a 10 to 16 hour shift with no holiday pay or bonus unless they end up with more than forty hours for the week.

I heard this and felt like I wasn't the only one missing some vital pieces this year. I guess no one feels the need to give thanks for being with family any more. Instead they have their shopping list and are "thankful" that they can give up their meal and family to go shopping.

In case I haven't made said it. I am thankful for my friends and family. For the people who smile and wish me well. Who share their comments, their lives, and their days with me. Those who send me notes. call me, text me, and keep in touch. For reminding me I am human, I am not alone, and I have worth even when I don't feel like I do. For all those reasons I am grateful for a day that lets me take the time to think of people gone from my life, for those who remain at my side, and for the new ones who have entered my life. I might have lost some pieces along the way but I am grateful for the ones who have found me and made me fit into their lives as well.