I feel very adamant about my situation. Yes, I'm a struggling alcoholic, and yes I feel guilty, but this I do know; I'm getting stronger each and every day. I have a support system, a loving partner that yells at me when I fail, but in a good way. She lets me know that I promised not to do so, that it makes her sad when I don't hold onto my promises. But it's getting easier to say no to the bottle, I assure you of this. I feel stronger knowing that while I share my struggle, I become stronger. I have many supports, GA included, that are here to encourage me when I do F*$#% up. I grow stronger each day knowing of this fact, and while I continue to move forward, I understand that my transparency, (or at least I hope), is in some way an encouragement to others. We're all human, we all fall, we all struggle, we all brake promises, but in the end we're better for our failings because ultimately we build our resolve and we're made stronger daily. I love my friends here at GA, as well as my other friends in real life. There's no coming between you all, or them. I thank you for your patience (if you read my stories), I really do.

Speaking of stories. I wrote a short story for a prompt on Friday. I stretched myself for that one. I also understand that due its content it might have rifled some feathers within. I acknowledge that the word, of a certain racial slur, was painful for me to even use. But in my eyes, it furthered the persecution of which Damien felt. And thus, I felt it justified the means within the context of the story. Even for me, the N word is painful, especially if you were to consider that my lineage comes from freeing slaves and bring freedom to African culture. So for me, it was a hard line and I hope I've been able to make that clear. Although, I'll never promise that I won't be one of controversy, because that's who I am. I have always intended to provoke conversation, thought processes, and the likes that we may come to a conclusion, a mutual understand outside of our own preconceived notions. That's my challenge to all that read my stories. This will always be a theme of which I intend to do. This is my goal. Change doesn't come without sacrifice, and I intend with every word in my stories to bring change to hearts and minds. Although it may not seem that way at first, for the most part my stories always have an underlying message. A heart of Gold is a great example of this. Damien’s Ordeal, another, or even my poems that I have posted here. They are intended to provoke emotion, thought, and conversation. I hope I've met these goals that I see in my mind. I really hope they do.

Now time to party.