I tried dating someone older and for a while it was fun. He was mature, thoughtful, understanding, considerate, and let's face it sex was amazing. He had the experience and I had the energy to go extra innings, let's leave it at that.

So what ruined it:

A simple call to his cell raised a few questions and things just happened from there, you can fill in the blanks. I didn't know he was married to a woman, who he later professed he had no love for, but they had kids. That was a double whammy.

Then, he asked if we could keep this relationship going.

I, in no uncertain terms, said, "Hell No"

Look, I understand people have complicated issues, complicated relationships/obligations, but I am not going to be an accessory to another man cheating on his family just because he can't come clean about liking guys. I don't want him to leave his family either that's just stupid and irresponsible. My feelings for him weren't that deep like a harlequin novel.

I don't know if breaking up was right, but it felt right.

There has to be a line in the sand somewhere in gay relationships, can you as a gay man really love someone who is hiding himself and pretending to be something he is not? Can you be happy even if he leaves his family and becomes your full-time lover?

I answered both questions with No, but that's just me.

I want to love someone with a real heart and honest convictions to what he believes in. I want to know that he is responsible and trustworthy enough to be by my side and myself by his side. This to me goes down to the very heart of trust.