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Is It Over?


CarlHoliday

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Let’s get this straight right from the beginning. I am suffering from a writer’s block. I’ve had these before and they’ve passed in time, but somehow I feel that this time it’s terminal. In fact, I don’t know the process of moving from Signature Author to Classic Author, but this very well maybe the time for such a transition.

 

I’ve tried to work on 319 and The GMOs, but there just doesn’t seem to be anything there.

 

So, I’ve done the only thing that a failed writer can do. I’ve turned to reading and, in my case, I’m reading short stories by Ernest Hemingway. I never read much of Hemingway other than The Sun Also Rises, For Whom the Bell Tolls, and The Old Man and the Sea, but I recently purchased a collection of Hemingway’s first 49 short stories and they seem to be hitting a nerve.

 

Tonight, I read “The Snows of Kilimanjaro” (I always thought it was a novel, but its just a long short story) and in between the lines there was another story that kept trying to come out. It concerns a transsexual by the name of Sara Jean and her friend Billy. Sara Jean is raised by liberal parents who accept their son Steven James is genetically programmed to be a girl and do everything they can to support her decision to go through the process of becoming fully female. Billy, her lifelong friend, is seen at the hospital where Sara Jean is having her penis surgically modified into a clitoris and a urinary outlet; and, after her testicles are removed a process of vaginoplasty opens a pseudo vagina between her testicles and anus. He, along with her parents, know what is occurring down the hall and through the doors clearly signed “No Admittance – Hospital Personnel Only.”

 

I don’t know if or when a story will come from this idea, but it’s there and that’s all I can hope for at the present time.

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I've read the Tamir triad and I think sexual/gender fluid literature is a good way to approach some of the complex issues of identity beyond just classifying LGBT continuum alone, nor can queer easily evoke the range of love and attachment human beings are capable of forming

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Interesting that the idea came to you reading Hemingway. His mother crossdressed him as a boy against his will, attempting to make him a twin to his older sister, and he had a lot of problems because of that. The whole family did. They all committed suicide except the mom. I was crossdressed myself until I was 5 years old when my mom had a girl and didn't need to do it to me anymore. I remember hating it and just wanting to be a boy. It's so interesting now that enlightened people are willing to allow their children to crossdress if they want to, but parents who force it are now considered sexual abusers.

I write by hand, then later type. Cannot compose at a keyboard. So when I get writer's block I actually 'sleep on it'. I put the tablet I'm currently using under my pillow for the night. It never fails me. I wake up eager to write, full of ideas, and easily carry on with my story.

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