Dating, we all think it’s going to be easy. When growing up we are told we would meet “the one” that would sweep us off our feet. Once you’ve met that person you would just know and everything would work out. TV and movies lead us to believe that no matter the obstacle we all would get that happy ending. As if all you really need is love? No one ever stops to consider who it may be you fall for. Every person has a different story, some stories that may remain a secret. In some cases you meet that person when you are young so when it comes to that story you’re the main character. Then most of us meet someone when we are much older this giving us more of a past. 

But what does a person’s story have to do with you?

When it came to dating for me it was always a different type of story. So believe me when I say nothing comes easy. I always seemed to attract the bi-curious or down-low men, in other terms. When it comes to these types of men we often wonder what it is that makes them hide. Is it what their family might say? Or could it just be the fear of how their friends or others might treat them? It takes a strong man to admit his sexuality and live life the way he wants. Yet that doesn’t seem to hold any of them back from fulfilling that gay fantasy.

I knew this married couple, let’s just call them Husband and Wife. We had been friends for many years. It was a type of friendship that knew no boundaries. Wife and I had always been very close and as the years went on Husband and I developed a certain connection. For the most part I never questioned it nor did I seek anything more, until one night at a club Husband made a pass at me. Yes, he made the first move and let me say I was more than shocked.

That night Husband and I took our friendship to a new level, we had sex. Now I wouldn’t say he cheated on Wife since she was there. Let me say it was a threesome neither of us expected.

For the first few weeks things seemed weird with them. We didn’t hang out as often, plus we didn’t speak like we usually would. Finally Husband reached out to me and we all hung out. I learned that nothing had changed between us. In fact we seemed to have grown closer. 

One day Wife told me of an article she had read about a married couple that had taken in a boyfriend. In that instance he dated them both, since both men were bisexual. For Wife she was looking for something different. She wanted a best friend she could hang out with while he dated her Husband. Apparently she did love her Husband, but loved watching two guys more. Makes you think right?

So what did I do?

I decided to try this out and see where it could lead. Husband was a good guy, one that always seemed to make me happy. From what I knew he felt the same way about way me. So begins the time I dated a bi-curious man, well also a married man. Of course this was meant to be our little secret. Most people wouldn’t understand that there was real love between he and I.

When it comes to love and marriage religion leads us to believe it must be between a man and a woman. Most people would freak out, not take the time to understand that love knows no sex, nor does it judge. So why are we taught that? Why as children must we be told what is right or wrong when it comes to who you love? I was never one to stay within the mold society put me in. 

Husband and I began a relationship. Most nights it would be me just hanging out with them at their house. A few times he and I would go out you know a bar here, a drive there. Every night would end with just he and I. Although no one knew of what we had. He wanted to keep us a secret. He came from a close family with catholic values. For months I felt as though I was on top of the world. I had found a man that loved me and now had a friend that understood me. The three of us felt we had overcome what the world expected from us. We had a relationship and two people to count on.

I know some gay men would kill for this to be their story, while some women longed to have their gay best friend at their side. Only things aren’t always so happy and worth the hiding. So when I say hiding that meant I was never really a part of that couple. For Wife, I was the one having sex with Husband keeping her from having to, plus we did all the friend things together. Husband had that person he could rely on and not to mention get sex whenever he wanted. 

To me it felt I had been more, but in a threesome it may not always be what you expect. 

When it came to dating Husband the relationship had its limitations. It began to seem as if I were just a play thing for them, someone to live out a need. When you become that guest star in a relationship that’s what you are, a guest. Although Husband was curious about being with me and he had been willing to date me, at his level. There was still the fact that I held no true place at their side. 

Dating someone you feel they would be the one person you knew would always be there, but when dating a bi-curious man you would find you are something different. Yes you were one of the best friends and yes you knew more about them than anyone else. Only did that really matter? For me I had nothing but love for him and he would be the one I’d be faithful to. Only at times you wondered where you really fit into the equation. Sometimes if you date a bi-curious man you may not consistently be at his side, as his girlfriend would be, you may just be that “friend” they hung out with. That was another thing you may not get is the boyfriend title.

As the months went on the going out with Husband turned into us all just hanging out at their house. The nights of passion turned into a quickie in the garage or a fast blow job in the backyard. The fantasy of dating a bi-curious married man was now being his sexual release. Not to mention the fact Wife preferred to watch us as she masturbated. Ironically now that I was in the picture she no longer wanted to have sex with Husband. It wasn’t what I wanted more what kept them both comfortable and satisfied, which made sense the marriage suffered once the boyfriend was gone. 

When it came to this certain relationship, I dated a bi-curious married man for a few months. Now I’m not saying that your story would end this way, but mine did. Every person has a story and every story has a different outcome. For Husband, he saw me as just someone that came to help fulfill his curiosity of being with a man, plus to give him consistent sexual relief.

In the next story we will see what it’s like when emotions are more involved. Will you be able to call this love? Or would dating a bi-curious man always just be a fantasy???