"Here is Insanity," he said. "Make sure you don't stay long, the flight in is super cheap but the flight out? Good luck if you can even get a flight, not to mention how much you'll pay for it."
I looked around and recognized nothing. It was blissful. I couldn't tell what was bad or good, I had no sense of self or purpose, I lost, well, everything. It was so nice just to be. I thought I'd stay forever.
"Yeah man, it's kind of like day two-oh-six of a drinking binge, seven days awake on meth, the feeling of getting served divorce papers in a 'happy' relationship, your newborn having cancer, I mean some folks just call it shock, but it's not a good place to stay. Seems comfortable, but don't do that."
I disregarded everything he said. Looking far afield I saw what looked like the kind of grass they grow in stadiums, plush. Sunny, too, and with this cool breeze I just wanted to nap there for a few years. Walking over, my leg started twitching. It twitched again, jerked, spasmed, until I had to fall to my knees. I pressed forward thinking it was a cramp; I don't know why I'd have a cramp here, but after all, it's Insanity, isn't it? My hands shook against gravel. Was there gravel here? Where is the grass?
The grass is gone. I'm looking at a burnt out hollow of ground, a crater. It's the remains of what I thought I was moving toward.
I didn't pay any mind. I shifted my thoughts. I remembered the boy in high school when he wore that hat with his blond hair peeking through the front. I remembered his eyes, his voice, his everything. He appeared. The world shifted again.
This time it was a classroom. He was next to me and a professor was droning on, and he tapped me lightly on the foot. I didn't feel confused although I vaguely thought I should be. I blushed, even. Here is this boy playing footsie with me, and I liked it. The class ends finally and we walk outside and he asks me out. I tell him sure, and time flashes again. We're at a restaurant and the waiter has my order wrong. I politely don't mention it, but then I look up and the boy across from me has a face crawling. Not crawling with anything in particular, just crawling. It roils, it moves, it distorts, and I feel wrong. I want to vomit.
I run. Time flashes. We are in a room. We? What room? I have no knowledge of who or where I am, or how, or why. When is not important until I see the sleeping face next to me. When. It is years ago and I see the face of someone I loved dearly in bed beside me. I want to hold them, I immediately feel as if I need to protect this person, I want them to be happy. I no sooner finish draping my arm around him than the arm drops right through him. He is not there. I see him, but he is not there.
I flail at the covers, I snatch sheets and pillows and gasp because I can't scream. He is right there, and I cannot touch him. He moves, further and further away, but I can still smell him, I can still feel the heat of him. Clambering for him, I fall off the edge of the bed. Time flashes.
I'm back home. I'm in my own bed, in the right time, in the right place. Sweating, heaving, I look and see nothing. There's not even a faint hint that anything has happened until he shows up. He tells me "This is Insanity. Make sure you don't stay long."