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Deireadh

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Fae Briona

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L gave me the number to the Memorial place that C's sis had used.  She'd put down a down-payment on the headstone, but wasn't sure how she was going to pay for the rest of it.  It's been such a busy week, I hadn't had time to call them until lunch today.  Thay had to call his sis to get her verbal OK before talking to me (which I expected) and I paid off what was left on the headstone; was about what I was expecting. It was something I felt like I had to do for my Boy. I didn't expect the emotions that took a hold of me. Doing this was such a final thing - the period at the end of a painful sentence. And in the afternoon mail was the pamphlet from his funeral, and a DVD with a copy of the recording they took of his funeral. I think it will be awhile before I can watch that.

 

Most days are better. I can look back and think of him and the time we did have together and smile, but....    I know there will always be that "but" -- those moments that sneak up on you from nowhere.

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I can see how it felt so final but it was a lovely and so right thing for you to do. Yeah, there is always a but ... my mum died 20 years ago and i feel it still. When i see certain flowers or on her birthday. It's easier to deal with but it never leaves, nor will you want it to , i don't think.

 

many hugs xoxo

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On 2/2/2019 at 7:18 AM, Mikiesboy said:

I can see how it felt so final but it was a lovely and so right thing for you to do. Yeah, there is always a but ... my mum died 20 years ago and i feel it still. When i see certain flowers or on her birthday. It's easier to deal with but it never leaves, nor will you want it to , i don't think.

 

many hugs xoxo

 

Haven't heard back from his from his friend or sister after paying off the headstone, but I really didn't do it for them -- I did it for him, and for myself.  A "thank you" would be nice though.

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Just now, Fae Briona said:

 

Haven't heard back from his from his friend or sister after paying off the headstone, but I really didn't do it for them -- I did it for him, and for myself.  A "thank you" would be nice though.

Yes, it would be nice.  I'm glad you were able to ... i think it's important. xo

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On 2/3/2019 at 8:10 PM, Mikiesboy said:

Yes, it would be nice.  I'm glad you were able to ... i think it's important. xo

I got an email this evening, with an apology for not responding earlier and a promise to tell me when the headstone is installed. I think it was bothering me more than I had wanted to admit to myself. Woke up this morning with "Surrender" by Paloma Faith running through my head.  :(

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22 minutes ago, Fae Briona said:

I got an email this evening, with an apology for not responding earlier and a promise to tell me when the headstone is installed. I think it was bothering me more than I had wanted to admit to myself. Woke up this morning with "Surrender" by Paloma Faith running through my head.  :(

if i'm honest, it would bother me too.  but i'm glad you heard something ... xo

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