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Penance


Wayne Gray

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I hate watching people tear down others for simply living their lives. You'd think that within the LGBTQ community we'd have figured out how hurtful and damaging it is to do this to one another, but we've still such a long way to go. Some of it is so very subtle.

People who are pushed to the fringes of an already marginalized community have it the worst. They get used to little jabs, "good-natured" fun at their expense. Usually these come from the people who they depend on to understand the most - those under the LGBTQ umbrella. It's like, since we're different from the larger society that we have tacit permission to give those different from ourselves a hard time.

When I was getting to know some of my friends here on GA, I listened to some of their struggles. I heard of scorn and judgment passed due to the lives they live - just being who they are. As I did, the following thoughts passed through my mind. "How could they do that to my friend? Can't they see that they're a part of the damn problems that our larger community deals with?!"

It's so easy to look at the actions of others, judge them, and then skip any sort of self-reflection. I can't possibly be guilty. I'm good, I care. I can't be guilty of the very thing I despise.

Right?

No. Nope, I too am a part of the problem.

In my last blog entry, in one of the comments I jokingly referred to a Dom as "Sir". I'm not a sub. I don't have the right. There's self-reflection, work, effort, natural inclination, and more involved in being a sub. There's a shared experience that I don't possess. It was an overstep. One I knew better than to take. It was something that showed a lack of respect to a piece that's integral to who he is - that belittled something important to him.

I thought about removing it, but I won't. It's a mistake, and I want it there to remind me to just do better.

I've already apologized to the people who matter. The only reason I put this entry here, now, is because I don't want people to see what I did and think it's okay. It's not.

You don't play with certain things - not if you call yourself a friend.

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Don’t be too hard on yourself, Wayne. Your friends know you are of good character and intent. You slipped up, but you recognized your slip, and rectified it. 

:hug: 

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38 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

You're a good and respectful person.  I took your comment in the spirit it was likely meant. I did not feel disrespected. 

I learned a long time ago most people think our lifestyle is freaky and weird. I don't care. People can say what they please.  Many, while they do not understand it, respect our choices. They respect that while he is my sub, tim is the most important thing in my world.

I've heard it all, so a friend joking around does not hurt. 

But as I said privately, I appreciate what you've said and why. 

Thanks, Mike.

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Wayne

My favorite Quote is the following;

When you make a mistake – you learn,
When you learn – you grow,
And when you grow – you are unbeatable

We all make mistakes so please know you are a Good Person. You should know that it also takes that same Good Person to know when to apologize. 
So please take care Wayne

 

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2 hours ago, rickproehl said:

Wayne

My favorite Quote is the following;

When you make a mistake – you learn,
When you learn – you grow,
And when you grow – you are unbeatable

We all make mistakes so please know you are a Good Person. You should know that it also takes that same Good Person to know when to apologize. 
So please take care Wayne

 

Thanks, rick for the nice comment.

Yeah, I'll just do better.

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