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I Believe...

AFriendlyFace

Entry posted by AFriendlyFace

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I'm scared.

 

It was bound to happen soon and now it did. Basically I just realized (well just felt) that in slightly over a month I'll be moving to a new city. Hundreds of miles from anyone I know. I won't have (or at least don't yet have) a job. I'll be all but broke having payed for the move and the first month's bills and deposits. And I won't even have an officially structured way to meet new people (like school, or work....well until I find a job).

 

A little under two years ago my truck suddenly gave out on me. It wouldn't have been economical to have it repaired, so I had to find a new one. My mom and grandfather found me a good deal on this truck in my home town. It had everything I wanted, was only a couple of years old with under 25,000 miles, and it was in my price range. There was just one problem; it was a standard. I'd never even been behind the wheel of one before. But I didn't have time to keep shopping around and it was definitely the best deal. So I took it. I got behind the wheel and, having gotten extensive instruction from several of my stick-driving friends, and with my grandfather sitting in the passenger seat talking me through it; I confidently drove it off the lot without even killing it. Of course I then got stuck at a stop sign on the way home and COULD NOT get it to go, but that's okay. I practiced for awhile and then drove the sucker 70+ miles back home. Nevermind that when I got it home it took me 5 tries to park without dying before I could get in, or, alternatively, rolling back out of the space; I did it. I just went into the situation and handled it.

 

I haven't really failed that often. Offhand I can't think of anything that's really mattered that I've really tried at and failed. I make mistakes, I have to try harder, revise my game plan, whatever, but if I really try I usually get it right in the end. When I was a kid I internalized most of those silly aphorisms you hear growing up. All that, "you can be anything you set your mind to" and I really bought the whole "happy ending" thing. I mean I know bad things happen. I know that some people are just mean and hateful, even evil perhaps. And yet I choose to believe that everyone I meet does have something good in them, some redeeming qualities. So far I haven't met anyone I'd say was completely devoid (or even somewhat devoid) of goodness.

 

I believe life's a great big self-fulfilling prophecy....And I believe in happy endings

 

I am naive, a little out of touch with reality, and probably unrealistically hopeful; and I'll have you know that's taken quite a bit of work to maintain and, at times, reacquire. I believe in life. I believe in happy endings. And I believe in myself.

 

So I'll move to a new city. I'll be broke. I'll fall in love with someone and get hurt. I'll make new friends and I'll lose some of them. I'll be rejected. I'll be lonely. I'll be stressed out and worn down. I'll regret moving in the first place...

 

...And I'll live.

17 Comments

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Guest Kitty

Guest Kitty

Posted

...And I'll live.

And have a great life. :2thumbs:

 

Kitty

 

P.S. Don't forget to keep on breathing. :D

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Xiang_Xiang

So I'll move to a new city. I'll be broke. I'll fall in love with someone and get hurt. I'll make new friends and I'll lose some of them. I'll be rejected. I'll be lonely. I'll be stressed out and worn down. I'll regret moving in the first place...

 

...And I'll live.

 

c' est la vie!!!

 

Best wishes,

 

Colin

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LittleBuddhaTW

You really do have an inspiring outlook on life, Kevin ... a little too cheerful, but perhaps that is what we need more of in this crazy, cynical world we live in! :2thumbs:

 

I'm also confident that you'll do great ... and like Kitty said, when things do get tough, just keep on breathing ... she wasn't kidding! :D

 

*Hugz*

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buttershots

Hey Kevin!!!

 

I'm sorry you're scared. That's a crappy feeling. :( The good news is you'll be just fine. You'll move, get settled in, find a good job, and find some activities (intramureal sports, clubs (as in something mentally stimulating not alcoholic), the alcoholic clubs and bars) that will help you to socialize and meet new people and you'll do great! :) As for moving hundreds of miles away from those that you do know, between the internet and phone you'll be fine. :) I promise. ;)

 

That's so neat you drive a stick shift. lol my first vehicle was a 93' chevy pickup that was a manual. :) I love driving them now...they're lots of fun when you're in a cranky mood and need to vent some anger. ;) My dream is to have a manual GTO. :devil: I'll probably wreck the thing, but I'm sure it'll be a blast doing it!!!

 

I haven't really failed that often. Offhand I can't think of anything that's really mattered that I've really tried at and failed. I make mistakes, I have to try harder, revise my game plan, whatever, but if I really try I usually get it right in the end. .... I know that some people are just mean and hateful, even evil perhaps. And yet I choose to believe that everyone I meet does have something good in them, some redeeming qualities. So far I haven't met anyone I'd say was completely devoid (or even somewhat devoid) of goodness.

 

That's really impressive that you have that attitude about life. There are two things that I fear. I mean really really fear (not like my fear of spiders ;) ), and they are 1) that I will loose my family and I'll be all alone and 2) that I will be a failure and disappoint my family. In away I know what you mean when you say that you haven't failed all that often. I haven't either and it seems the longer you go without failing the more you fear doing so. ;) lol

 

As for the mean and evil people out there, it always shocks me every time I hear of a person doing something horrible to someone else. I just have trouble grasping "why"?? I think I'm just too "innocent" or naive or something along those lines. Oh well. :)

I believe life's a great big self-fulfilling prophecy....And I believe in happy endings

 

So I'll move to a new city. I'll be broke. I'll fall in love with someone and get hurt. I'll make new friends and I'll lose some of them. I'll be rejected. I'll be lonely. I'll be stressed out and worn down. I'll regret moving in the first place...

 

You'll do great. :) I just hope you can avoid the "getting hurt" part. ;) Although, that tends to go with the "growing up" territory...or so I've been told. Either way you'll be fine and have a blast while your doing it!

 

I hope your Monday was great! Take Care!

 

- Kaiten

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NaperVic

Hey Kevin,

 

You're great attitude will take you far. :2thumbs:

 

And don't forget to smile :P

 

Take Care®,

 

Vic

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Guest Kitty

Guest Kitty

Posted

Everytime I see the title of this blog post, I keep hearing that song, "I Believe".

 

I believe, for every drop of rain that falls,

A flower grows...

 

I believe that somewhere in the darkest night,

A candle glows...

 

I believe for everyone who goes astray,

Someone will come, to show the way...

 

I believe, I believe...

 

I believe, above the storm the smallest prayer,

will still be heard...

 

I believe that someone in the great somewhere

hears every word...

 

Everytime I hear a newborn baby cry,

Or touch a leaf, or see the sky,

Then I know why

I believe.

 

Did you do that on purpose?

 

Kitty :)

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rekop1

Hey Kevin!!!

 

I'm sorry you're scared. That's a crappy feeling. :( The good news is you'll be just fine. You'll move, get settled in, find a good job, and find some activities (intramureal sports, clubs (as in something mentally stimulating not alcoholic), the alcoholic clubs and bars) that will help you to socialize and meet new people and you'll do great! :) As for moving hundreds of miles away from those that you do know, between the internet and phone you'll be fine. :) I promise. ;)

 

- Kaiten

 

 

 

I could not of said it better myself. You know when I first moved away to go to school I freaked, I was in a new state, I did not know anybody I felt lonely but I pulled through and made friends that I will never forget. So you are are going to start a new chapter in your life. I will also say that you seem like a great guy :D you will be making friends in no time, and you still got all of us. You will be fine Kevin.

 

 

 

Good luck

rekop

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AFriendlyFace

And have a great life. :2thumbs:

 

Kitty

 

P.S. Don't forget to keep on breathing. :D

 

 

c' est la vie!!!

 

Best wishes,

 

Colin

Thanks you guys :D:2thumbs:

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AFriendlyFace

You really do have an inspiring outlook on life, Kevin ... a little too cheerful, but perhaps that is what we need more of in this crazy, cynical world we live in! :2thumbs:

 

I'm also confident that you'll do great ... and like Kitty said, when things do get tough, just keep on breathing ... she wasn't kidding! :D

 

*Hugz*

Thanks David! :D LOL I'll try to tone the cheerfulness down a bit when it's early in the morning :P:boy:

 

Yay Kevin!! All those things are good things! It's good to be an optimist and to believe in happy endings!! :D :D :D

Aww thanks Ben! :D

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AFriendlyFace

Hey Kaiten :D

 

I'm sorry you're scared. That's a crappy feeling. :( The good news is you'll be just fine. You'll move, get settled in, find a good job, and find some activities (intramureal sports, clubs (as in something mentally stimulating not alcoholic), the alcoholic clubs and bars) that will help you to socialize and meet new people and you'll do great! :) As for moving hundreds of miles away from those that you do know, between the internet and phone you'll be fine. :) I promise. ;)

Thanks I certainly hope you're right! :)

That's so neat you drive a stick shift. lol my first vehicle was a 93' chevy pickup that was a manual. :) I love driving them now...they're lots of fun when you're in a cranky mood and need to vent some anger. ;) My dream is to have a manual GTO. :devil: I'll probably wreck the thing, but I'm sure it'll be a blast doing it!!!

Yep they are fun to drive! LOL I quite like it now that I've gotten used to it :)

 

That's really impressive that you have that attitude about life. There are two things that I fear. I mean really really fear (not like my fear of spiders ;) ), and they are 1) that I will loose my family and I'll be all alone and 2) that I will be a failure and disappoint my family. In away I know what you mean when you say that you haven't failed all that often. I haven't either and it seems the longer you go without failing the more you fear doing so. ;) lol

I'm sure you'll never have to worry about number 2 happening :2thumbs:

You're right though when things are going well I'm always thinking "gee, if I can just not screw this up!"

As for the mean and evil people out there, it always shocks me every time I hear of a person doing something horrible to someone else. I just have trouble grasping "why"?? I think I'm just too "innocent" or naive or something along those lines. Oh well. :)

Yep that's what I mean. I guess it's a good thing that we don't understand it though lol

 

You'll do great. :) I just hope you can avoid the "getting hurt" part. ;) Although, that tends to go with the "growing up" territory...or so I've been told. Either way you'll be fine and have a blast while your doing it!

Yep I hope to avoid it too, lol but I've more or less accepted that it's going to happen a few times.

 

 

I hope you have an awesome week, Kaiten, Take care :D

Kevin

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AFriendlyFace

I could not of said it better myself. You know when I first moved away to go to school I freaked, I was in a new state, I did not know anybody I felt lonely but I pulled through and made friends that I will never forget. So you are are going to start a new chapter in your life. I will also say that you seem like a great guy :D you will be making friends in no time, and you still got all of us. You will be fine Kevin.

Good luck

rekop

Hey Rekop,

 

Thanks, I do feel much better knowing that I've got my online friends to keep me company in the early weeks :) Thanks everyone :)

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Ryandy

It seemed that you anticipated what will happen with the positive attitude, unlike me, who never anticipated anything that would come along, and end up clueless n don't know what to do...

Keep it up Kevin, u ll make it, coz i think u know yrself well enough to carry on what you r after in life.

 

Well, when I looked at this blog title, a different song came to my mind, it was "I believe" by Fantasia n Diana on American Idol 3, that was a nice song too, :2thumbs:

 

Cheers up...

 

Eddie

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NickolasJames8

Hey Kevin,

 

I know you made this entry a long time ago, but I just want you to know that I'll be praying for you. You're such a sweet guy and everyone here likes you, plus you're really smart. Anyway, I wanted to give you a :hug: and say hi :)

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AFriendlyFace

Hey Eddie :)

 

It seemed that you anticipated what will happen with the positive attitude, unlike me, who never anticipated anything that would come along, and end up clueless n don't know what to do...

Keep it up Kevin, u ll make it, coz i think u know yrself well enough to carry on what you r after in life.

Thanks very much :) I hope you're right. And also, I bet you'll figure out what you need to do. Never give up on yourself! ;)

 

 

Well, when I looked at this blog title, a different song came to my mind, it was "I believe" by Fantasia n Diana on American Idol 3, that was a nice song too, :2thumbs:

Hmmm, I haven't heard that one, but I'll definitely see if I can check it out :)

 

Take care and have an awesome day! :D

 

Kevin

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AFriendlyFace

Hey Nick! :D

 

I know you made this entry a long time ago, but I just want you to know that I'll be praying for you.

Oh Nick, thank you! That really means alot to me :D

 

You're such a sweet guy and everyone here likes you, plus you're really smart. Anyway, I wanted to give you a :hug: and say hi :)

Thanks I'm touched! :D And I definitely don't think I've got anything on you when it comes to sweetness and intelligence ;) .

 

Take care and have an awesome day! :hug:

 

Kevin

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