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Ok so some of you know that Chris and I have been viewing houses to buy.Today we saw two, one would have been a kinda total decoration project and the other is ready to move into. So ive fallen in love with the second house, Link to the house.We were going to ask our solicitor to make an offer for it. Now for the anger part.to make the deposit Im going to withdraw most of my savings. Chris was going to use money placed into a trust fund his Gran left him a few months ago. Now when she died she left everything to Chris and his Bro Jon. So he goes to his solicitor today to ask about how to withdraw the cash from his half. Only to be told that the fund has been frozen because his aunt AND his mum have contested the will. I mean for F*ck sake his own mother is trying to fight him for cash! The important thing is we can afford to make our deposit with out that cash, but Chris being proud insists on making his full contribution. Its upset him so much, I really just want to go and strangle the bitch!He was in tears this afternoon because he called her, to ask what she was doing. Her only reply was that its her mum and her money :( my heart really goes out to Jon just now, since he still has to live with the ice queen! Im not going to argue with him on the because his pride is very important to him, if we can get this sorted out in time to buy this house great, but if we have to wait for another to come along so be it. our landlord is happy to extend our lease so at least we wont be homeless.im off to drink some beer and maybe get drunk before i rant anymore!Dave


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Crap like this pisses me off. I am, as usual of two minds on how to proceed in such a situation (I forsee a blood bath when my dad dies). The first says, just give her the f-ing money and then inform her that you will never speak to her again, that all post will be returned, and all phone calls summarily hung up. The second says, go to court, inflict as much emotional and financial damage as possible. I would spend every penny in court to assure she saw none of it and had to incurr her own costs. The estate has the right to spend itself in defense of the will, Chris' mother does not unless she wins, so Chris' efforts will cost him nothing (other than recieving the money). Of course, the refusal of contact follows just as strongly.


When family members choose money over family I firmly believe in making them feel the full and undilluted effects of that choice. I am also a cold, mean, unforgiving bastard, so I expect Chris will find a better way


Hope you had a fun time drinking


:king: Snow Dog

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Hey Dave (& Chris),


I'm sorry to hear that you guys are having to deal with this. Although I've seen it too often, I'm still flabbergasted(sic) that family does that to family.


I'm a vindictive b*tch, so if I were Chris, I'd write my mum off too and fight for what's his. Obviously, Grandma had a reason to leave the money with Chris and Jon and bypass the mom. For that reason alone, I would fight to uphold his grandmothers wishes and follow the will.


Chris has too much pride :P . If you guys can still afford to and you really like it, BUY THE HOUSE! Eventually, Chris will get the money, so it can just be an IOU until the money is freed up. But then again, if it's going to cause Chris ulcers and premature grey hair, it might be best to wait. :2thumbs:


Hope everything works out for you two!



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First of all, I think you should know that as I am typing this, I am wearing my 'I hate Chris' Mum' t-shirt... Oh, and this is bugging pants!! :angry:


I say money can't buy happiness, so if money is all she wants, then give it to her, but then that is all she will ever get from him because he should refuse to be involved in a relationship with someone who is so unbelievably selfish. That said, I think that the two of you can make this work without his pride being hurt... partners are partners no matter who earns the money or where it comes from and if this is what the two of you want, and I know it is, do it together and screw the money part of it... Money is one of the most argued about things in a relationship, so I say don't let the money be the important issue, let the life that you two are trying to build be the focus and however you get there, at least you got there together...


Hugs to you both, Vivian

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Dave and of course, Chris too:)


Viv is one very smart person....she said it beautifully....so, I say, if Chris feels that the house you both want is one you want associated with where you contribute together, maybe you can wait..I am sure that there will be more beautiful homes to chose from...and I am sure you both want a home and not the house you bought that was part of his Grandma's Estate dispute (and hence, may seem cursed or part of anger and pain and hurt with his family).


I tend to be old fashioned that way and want a home that is blessed with good karma, love and the joy that you both will feel and enjoy as you create a home together....as opposed to the house gotten where Chris felt he didn't put in his share and wasn't being the good husband he wants to be and had to wait because of his Mum not honoring her Mum and your GrandMum.


I am sure you want to be able to buy a home that is done during the time that you BOTH know it just feels so right....that you see yourselves growing old together, filling the HOME you BOTH LOVVEE with memories and so on....and not purchased in an estate fight....


The house is beautiful..I bet there are plenty like it....when the timing is right, you both will know it.


I know this may sound cliche, but the old saying "every knock is a boost" is true.....also, the coming weeks can't be fun given what Chris's Mum has done..that can't be pretty and will be traumatic..add that to the stress of a house purhase and oy.....what a mess....so maybe the timing isn't right but it will be....


you have each other and it will happen....as the other old saying "good things come to those who wait"....so when it happens, well, your Happy Home will be wonderfully blessed and years from now you will laugh at how you found it and how well the wait made it more special.


no matter what...you have each other and its not worth stressing......things and material things come and go...two soul mates that love each other....and get to share their lives and love for each other..well, that's priceless and magical and is what Love and Joy is all about....fret not, the hurt and mess will pass...but you have each other to get through it...kiss each other and hold each close and thank your lucky stars...you truly are amazingly blessed!


Love, Good Health, good jobs and a wonderful life created together....I say Bravo and before you know it a home to call your own....it will happen....this much I do know!



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