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My Winter


AFriendlyFace

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If I can just make it through winter I'll be fine. Winters are always the hardest for me. I know it doesn't seem like I've had a particularly difficult winter based on my recent blog posts, and indeed I really haven't, but nevertheless, winters are the toughest. Februarys especially are tough. I'm usually still riding on my fall energy until February. After February things start to come back to life. But in February...well I'm done. No more energy, harder to keep perspective, harder to keep looking forward to spring.

 

As someone with a psychology degree I've often wondered whether or not I had S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I don't think I do, at least not a clinical case, I think it's too mild. I can usually cheer up, gather up more energy, call from somewhere inside of me for a bit more juice. Nevertheless, I just get so frickin' tired of the death and coldness.

 

I do associate winter with death. The trees are all bare and the flowers are dead. Which is just f**king ugly and depressing as far as I'm concerned. I had an argument about this with Scott recently. Evidently he likes it because he feels like they're being more honest and exposing their core and vulnerability. Yeah whatever, I can see the symbolism in his point, but as far as I'm concerned they're ugly and dead, and I'd feel better not having their lifeless corpses standing around. Of course I know they'll come back in the spring, so I'm not really advocating cutting them all down, but as far as the way it looks and the emotional reaction is has on me I'd much whether no tree at all than a tree without leaves and flowers. It's so gray and drab too. It's like everything takes on this dull husk. The buildings and streets even seem less vibrant, and there's so much less sunshine. It's really bad when it rains. Nothing is more depressing than a rainy day in winter.

 

Sometimes, usually for the earlier months of the season, I fancy myself a sort of flower, a touch of colour and life in an otherwise barren wasteland (melodramatic huh?). By February though I feel like I'm dying too. I've always associated winter with death. I grew up with contact with a farm. When it came to the older, or weaker animals the speculation was always "Do you think it'll make it through another winter?" I always feel like I get older in the winter. I feel like I'm fine for the other months, but I always seem to lose a little more life and vitality in the winter. A little something extra always seems to fade out.

 

It has been a fairly good winter. I've stayed positive, stayed alive. I've tried to stay busy, tried to be productive. But damn I'm ready for the spring. This past week has been the hardest. I feel like I've been in a daze this past week. I didn't fight it much this week. Last week I still had the energy. I made a point of fixing myself up and wearing bright colours, even on my day off. This week I more or less gave up. It was just too hard to keep struggling so I went numb and lost the week. I really don't know where it went. I feel like it was completely wasted and now it's just gone. I need March, or better yet April. I need reprieve from the gray.

 

Today was a rainy winter day.

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I feel like I'm fine for the other months, but I always seem to lose a little more life and vitality in the winter. A little something extra always seems to fade out.

 

Damn Kevin those two lines are hauntingly beautiful and shockingly poignant. I hope you find your sun, either internally or externally... I like it when you shine :hug:

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I do like winter. Actually, I prefer it to summer. I like to have a walk on a cold clear winter day, with snow-covered fields and the sun shining so bright you can hardly see. :D

 

The trees are all bare
I agree with that. But that gives me the possibility to see what is behind and usually covered by the leaves.

 

Tob, who's hoping for you spring will come soon :hug:

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Don't forget -- according to Eliot, April is the cruelest month. :P

 

I kinda like winter, like Tob, but I'm sure the Texan spring will come around soon. Hang in there! :)

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Sounds like you do have SAD to a degree. Vitamin D should help.

 

After such a long, touching blog post my reply seems rather inadequate.

 

Take heart, young one! Spring is not far off!

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Awww I wish you all the luck to get through winter. I hate the cold too haha, but for some reason, I really wanna experience snow - even though I hate the cold hehe :P Dead trees and barren landscape...(aww...)I can imagine why you would think that winter is associated with death. Best of luck for the winters Kevin :):hug:

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Damn Kevin those two lines are hauntingly beautiful and shockingly poignant. I hope you find your sun, either internally or externally... I like it when you shine :hug:

Hey Steve, aww :wub: That's really sweet of you :D

 

I am feeling better, thanks :)

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I do like winter. Actually, I prefer it to summer. I like to have a walk on a cold clear winter day, with snow-covered fields and the sun shining so bright you can hardly see. :D

 

I agree with that. But that gives me the possibility to see what is behind and usually covered by the leaves.

 

Tob, who's hoping for you spring will come soon :hug:

Thanks Tob :D

 

Well, I've never had the joy of walking in a snow-covered field. That does sound lovely though! :)

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Don't forget -- according to Eliot, April is the cruelest month. :P

 

I kinda like winter, like Tob, but I'm sure the Texan spring will come around soon. Hang in there! :)

That's very true about the Texan spring; it is right around the corner :P

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Sounds like you do have SAD to a degree. Vitamin D should help.

 

After such a long, touching blog post my reply seems rather inadequate.

 

Take heart, young one! Spring is not far off!

Aww thanks, Dion!

 

Actually that's good advice. I used to take a Vitamin D supplement. Probably should start again.

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You should consider one of those lamps to give you some artificial sunlight :)

I actually did consider that! I ended up deciding to just move my room around - which was fun and helpful in and of itself :boy: - so that my bed is directly in front of a window.

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Awww I wish you all the luck to get through winter. I hate the cold too haha, but for some reason, I really wanna experience snow - even though I hate the cold hehe :P Dead trees and barren landscape...(aww...)I can imagine why you would think that winter is associated with death. Best of luck for the winters Kevin :):hug:

No snow for you either, huh Jovian? Eh, we'll experience it soon enough I suppose. I've been in mild snow before, but never anything notable. Certainly not "blankets of snow" style snow.

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I used to feel like you did, but I've actually grown to like winter. Keep in mind I live in f**king Missouri, though.

 

I like it when there is a snow storm. Not a blizzard. A snowstorm. Everyone freaks out and runs out and cleans out the grocery stores, and when the "storm" comes (actually, it usually doesn't. The weather people are usually wrong) it's not some violent, rabid thing, like a thunderstorm. No. It's a consistent, peaceful falling of snow. Snow that blankets the earth and covers up all of it's imperfections, at least for a little bit. And how cool is it to be the first person to walk across newly fallen snow? Of course, there's the comical side, like when the dog (she's a girl) tries to go out and pee but can't squat without dipping her (whatever you call a female dog's vagina) in the snow.

 

And then there's the time-honored cliche, of reading, or typing on someone's blog, by the fire.

 

Sometimes you have to look a little deeper for the beauty.

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I used to feel like you did, but I've actually grown to like winter. Keep in mind I live in f**king Missouri, though.

 

I like it when there is a snow storm. Not a blizzard. A snowstorm. Everyone freaks out and runs out and cleans out the grocery stores, and when the "storm" comes (actually, it usually doesn't. The weather people are usually wrong) it's not some violent, rabid thing, like a thunderstorm. No. It's a consistent, peaceful falling of snow. Snow that blankets the earth and covers up all of it's imperfections, at least for a little bit. And how cool is it to be the first person to walk across newly fallen snow?

That does really awesome and beautiful!

 

Of course, there's the comical side, like when the dog (she's a girl) tries to go out and pee but can't squat without dipping her (whatever you call a female dog's vagina) in the snow.

:lol:

 

That does sound amusing! Poor dog.

 

And then there's the time-honored cliche, of reading, or typing on someone's blog, by the fire.

I would like experience these cliches. I bet they are really fun.

 

Sometimes you have to look a little deeper for the beauty.

Thanks, that's good advice.

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