I've been involved in lots of online sites, anything from this one to my Yahoo group. There have been times in the past when I've felt the need to move on, either permanently or temporarily, for various reasons. Sometimes someone pisses me off, sometimes I simply grow tired of the group or bored with the posts. In fact, there was a period of time when I took a sabbatical from this site. Why? It falls into the "someone pisses me off" category and revolved primarily around someone who's name started with a "K" and ended with "itty". But that's not the purpose of this entry. When I left, I just left. No fanfare, no big deal, I just wasn't around.

On the other hand, sometimes when people leave, or take a break from a group, they seem to feel the need to make a big production out of it. They write long posts about how they have to move on, or how their personal IRL lives are being ruined by their online life, or how their computer broke or the country they live in has banned internet access (OK, not that one), or some other reason. To me, many of these posts seem designed to elicit sympathy, and all of them seem to have, as their purpose, the need to draw attention to themselves. So when I read them, most of the times I just roll my eyes and say to myself "OK, another drama queen" or "Someone desperately needs some attention." Falling into the same category are posts from people saying they need to be less involved, or they need to post less.

But I wonder if that's fair. I can think of lots of people here, for example, that should they decide to take a break I'd want to know about it. I'd want to know why. I'd want to know these things because I care about them. If they posted something about vanishing, I'd feel appreciative.

So what's the difference? Is it the fact that some people I like and some I don't? That makes some sense, but then again, there have been people who have done the whole "I'm leaving for awhile" thing, and I like those people, but I still think they're being attention whores. I thought about this a lot and ultimately I decided that there are two things that make the difference. The first is the tone of the departure post. Is it whiny? Does the person seem to be begging for attention? Or does that individual seem truly sincere?

The second factor is whether or not they really leave. Does the person post this poignant message and then two days later they're posting again? To me, this makes the whole departure post seem hollow, and exposes the individual as someone who simply wants to be the focus of attention.

Regardless, I usually don't dislike the person for doing that, I don't begrudge them their decision. Rather, I feel pity for them, not because of the reason for their departure or truncation of activity, but for their apparent all-encompassing passion for attention, which in this case comes at my expense. That doesn't make me angry, but it does make me lose some respect for them.

I don't know. Maybe this is just the prick in me coming out again.