I just had to blog about this. I told myself, 'Chase, wait a week or two then blog something, stop blogging so much it'll make them think you spend to much time on the computer' well f**kers, I'm not, but still, I couldn't pass up this opportunity to show you how incredibly hilarious my life is.

I love awkward moments. They make the best ice breakers at parties and if you haven't seen somebody in a long time and lets say you gave each other hand jobs and blow jobs all throughout high school for ALL FOUR YEARS - yeah it gets kinda awkward when you see them after 2 years. But do I blush and kick a pebble, hell no, I exploit like an exploiter.

Anyways, so I'm actually drinking lots of water right now, I need to sober up cause I am doing a drug deal in the morning (no joke) and I gotta drive a bit to hang out with some people, so I can't wake up in the morning all hangover and drunken and retarded now can I. I had 8 amazing gin and tonics and probably three shots of vodka. At one point, I wasn't certain what I was going to do with my life and started having deep conversations with a few people I shouldn't of. We've all been there.

I have a raging headache right now and am considering downing a bottle of Advil, but then I'd OD on Advil. How f**king stupid would that be.

"How did Chase die?"

"He OD'd on Advil."

"And here I thought he'd die trying to slay a dragon." Yeah.

Anyfwayz, so I went to this gnar rager that was actually really fun. A lot of people were there that were fun.

[note: if you like parties, go if there are fun people there. If you know people aren't fun, don't go, it'll save you lots of trouble and stupid face book comments later on when people are like "REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME" and you can say, "No, because it wasn't fun."]

But before that, I went midnight bowling and let me tell you loyal fans, let me tell YOU how much fun that is. I am so bad at bowling I have no idea how I managed to not get kicked out. My balls were everywhere, not my ball balls mind you, my bowling balls. My bowling ball, one actually, I don't have two. Well I do have two but you get the idea.

But wait, "Chase?"

"Why yes reader?"

"This midnight bowling, what exactly is it?"

"I am so glad you asked." Midnight bowling is AWESOME. Basically they turn off all the lights and its like that scene from that half tard movie Across the Universe where they are all dancing and shit. I wanted to do that but nobody liked the idea. Anyways, its all neon and retro and the music is cool and its dark. It was so much fun, I wasn't really aware that existed in California. I only thought it was like mid-west trashy towns that had nothing better to do on Saturday nights. BOI WAS I WRONG.

Then the power went out and we left.

So then we went to this party. I was actually like 'side-invited'. Like, I was with people and since I was with them I was obligated to go. I wasn't initially invited because the guy who was throwing it, we were alright friends in high school but never really hit it off. Whatever, I got free booze. All that mattered. I was astonished to find that he invited likewise friends so it all just you know, meshed into place like a puzzley piece.

So the awkward moment came when I saw an old