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Misunderstood


Tiger

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I wonder if people around here understand me as I really am. I am a lot less inhibited here. In actuality I am more of a shy, standoffish person. I will talk to people but usually only when spoken to until I get used to someone. Then I am chatty. I am not one to be around crowds. All of the voices I hear make me feel uncomfortable. I guess most people don't really know me. I keep a lot of stuff about me bottled up... what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. But when I'm online, it's like I'm a different person all together. I am more chatty and blatantly flirtatious. I am not really like that. I am too shy. That's just me. Still, I feel as if a lot of people don't like me, and it hurts. I like to think I'm a good person and that I'm very accepting of people. I have had an incident or two, and people seem to hold it against me. It makes me feel bad, because I always seek approval from others. I don't want to be hated, but I guess I'm just too difficult for most people to get along with. I just don't know if I belong here anymore or if I ever really did. I don't know if I should stay or if I should go. I wonder if I'd be missed, but I doubt I would be, much if at all.

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What a load of nonsense!! One or two incidents don't make people hate you. A couple of people being pissed off with you doesn't mean that everyone hates you. We are all difficult to be around at times... I've made my share of faux pas. Sometimes I just need to open my mouth to change feet. I get and have always got that you are a warm and funny person. You are strong and have strong opinions which means that sometimes you clash with people... that's better than being a 'yes' man or a sheep. I love your wit and your honesty and I for one would miss you terribly if you left.

 

We all doubt ourselves sometimes hun, especially if we feel that we have been in conflict and pissed people off. You know that you can only ever please some of the people some of the time and never all of the people all of the time But there are so many people here who like you, don't run away from those who don't.

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Tiger, you are such a dumb f**k sometimes. There will always be people who don't like you. And there will be times when you f**k up. Your real friends will like you, and they'll understand when you make mistakes. And hell, it could be worse. You could be Chase.biggrin.gif

 

It kind of pisses me off that you would say this shit: That you would think about bailing because a few people made you feel bad, and leave the rest of us who really like you behind. mad.gifBut it's OK, I'm not mad, because I'm your friend. See how that works?wub.gif

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Please don't leave, I love your sense of humor and your style. I don't say much around here to people personally, but I like you and I'd miss you if you left.

 

If there's one thing I've learned over time, its that you can hardly please anyone in life, so worry about the people that matter - I've also learned I'm the only one that really matters - and screw the rest. Anyone who goes to the effort of actively disliking me is welcome to do so. I'm certainly not going to exert any effort to care about it.

 

Maybe take a week off and chill?

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Reading this was like standing in front of a mirror talking to myself. I get every word. But I am still here and I want you here too. Believe that cause I mean it with all my guts. Who knows maybe I can make you laugh someday. Maybe we can know each other and be friends. If not you still have my respect and you can have my ear too if you need it. I care about this. You can be so close on this damn internet and yet you can't hold someone. Your friends want to hold you. Don't leave. It would hurt too much.

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Hello Tim,

 

I have some thoughts.

 

I wonder if people around here understand me as I really am. I am a lot less inhibited here. In actuality I am more of a shy, standoffish person. I will talk to people but usually only when spoken to until I get used to someone. Then I am chatty. I am not one to be around crowds. All of the voices I hear make me feel uncomfortable. I guess most people don't really know me. I keep a lot of stuff about me bottled up... what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. But when I'm online, it's like I'm a different person all together. I am more chatty and blatantly flirtatious. I am not really like that. I am too shy. That's just me.

 

I think the question then is which one of these "different people" do you want to be? Or does it work best to keep these two people separate and different? If so why?

 

Still, I feel as if a lot of people don't like me, and it hurts. I like to think I'm a good person and that I'm very accepting of people. I have had an incident or two, and people seem to hold it against me. It makes me feel bad, because I always seek approval from others.

 

I'm usually not so blatant but all I can think in response to that is, "STOP!"

 

Screw other people's approval! If you aren't happy with yourself then it's truly pointless.

 

I haven't always approved of your actions and behaviours. It doesn't really matter though; I haven't expected to. I still accept you for yourself and while I do in fact like you and enjoy your presence even if I didn't, even I truly hated you (quite unlikely), it wouldn't change your worth whatsoever and it really wouldn't matter much in the greater scheme of things.

 

You don't have to please me, or Nephylim, or Mark, or Lacy, or Hoskins, or Deadsnake, or anyone else! Don't be selfish and self-involved, and certainly don't be needlessly belligerent, but follow your own values and codes of behaviour. You don't need to impress or please anyone and you are really the only person you're ultimately responsible to. Seek your approval; forget mine and everyone else's.

 

 

I don't want to be hated, but I guess I'm just too difficult for most people to get along with.

 

Of course you don't want to be hated; that's normal. However, what you really need to ask yourself is whether or not other people "have a point." They might in which case 'reforming' your behaviour would be in order. Not for them but for yourself. Or maybe the 'problem' is merely one of presentation. Perhaps your values and beliefs are ultimately in line with everyone else's but the way you're presenting them isn't coming across properly. In that case constructive feedback is another opportunity for growth. Of course another possibility is that there's nothing (or very little) wrong with your behaviour and perspectives and that they don't need modifying. It's all really up to you to figure out, but do it for yourself not for anyone else.

 

I just don't know if I belong here anymore or if I ever really did.

 

Is your concern really that we might be tired of you, or are you simply tired of us? It's all relative and subjective really.

 

I don't know if I should stay or if I should go. I wonder if I'd be missed, but I doubt I would be, much if at all.

 

I'd get over it if you weren't around anymore; however, I would be sorry to see you go and I would miss you. No one is irreplaceable, not me, not you, not anyone else. The vast majority of the rest of the people here could continue to function just fine if any given member left, and that's how it should be, IMO. Just as in life we love our friends and family, but ultimately when they pass away, or simply go away, we usually continue to soldier on one way or another. It isn't always easy, often we'll miss them, but we shouldn't let our lives end from their absence, no true friend would have wanted it as such anyway.

 

If/when I eventually cease to be around here I hope everyone else will be just fine. I hope they'll smile at my memory and look back fondly on something I may have said and done. I do not hope they'll cry about my absence or spend their time longing hopelessly for my return.

 

I've thoroughly enjoyed your company, Tim. You've gone through periods of increased and decreased activity and presence around here - as have I - and I've always been pleased to note your return. I hope you'll stick around for much longer. I like and respect you. If you find that it's in your best interest to do something else, then I can respect that. If on the other hand you're looking for a reason to stay then I can't help you. Only you can supply that. You don't need my approval. Or anyone else's.

 

 

:hug:

 

Take care, buddy, and I personally hope you do stick around. :)

 

-Kevin

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