Joke Time

[movieguy47]

A Mother at 65!

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby.

 

All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.

 

When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet."

 

A little later they ask to see the baby again.

 

Again the mother says "not yet."

 

Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?"

 

And the mother says, "When the baby cries."

 

And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"

 

The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it."

 

 

 

 

A guy goes to his doctor and says,

"Doc, I have a problem."

 

"My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday."

 

"I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all."

 

The doctor says, "You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty dangerous for any man. I will give them to you on the condition that you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out."

 

The man says, "You have a deal Doc."

 

Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling.

 

The doctor asks, "What happened"?

 

The man answered, "Nobody showed up!"

 

 

 

 

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you