Why take a life partner?

[AFriendlyFace]

Kevin, it is not about following society's rules. If there is someone who makes you feel happy and complete then why deny yourself of that person's love? Besides, if we wanted to follow society's rules we would pretend to be straight, get married, and have lots of children with our wives. Some have done that, and it was because they were trying to passify society's wishes. But to say that you don't want someone to love just because you see that as something society wants is rather short-sited in my opinion. I rarely disagree, but this time I do. Don't deny yourself of love if you find it, Kev.

Sorry to mislead you, Tim. I definitely agree that it would be short sighted and just stupid to avoid something simply because society teaches it as an ideal. I'm certainly not going to be a contrarian simply for the sake of doing it. I just meant that I similarly wasn't going to be a conformist simply for the sake of doing it.

 

In this case, having considered the matter (the point was mostly to consider it in the first place), I've decided the possibility is something I'm open to, and will likely (continue) to actively pursue.

 

Interestingly, the part of the question that I had the most problem with wasn't the 'take' but the 'life'.

Well for me 'life' is the part that goes without saying, is so much as, I'd be even less likely to give much thought to having a string of temporary partners. I mean I suppose that's a viable long-term option, but it doesn't really require very much effort or commitment, so it's a less serious thing - in my opinion - to carefully ponder.

 

I know that while I'm very introverted, I like being with people. I'm not a good solitary person.

I think I'm actually the exact opposite. Extroverted, but a natural, skilled, and happy loner.

 

However, while I may wish to spend my life with that person, I can't say I'm going to stay the same person the whole of my life, or that they will stay the same person the whole of their life. I can hope that as we change (and I know we'll change) that we continue to be compatible and comfortable with each other, but I can't guarantee it. Hence, I'm uncomfortable with the term 'life partner'. It's an ideal, not a straitjacket.

That's an excellent point, and at some point I agree that it's important to remember you don't have to stay. Indeed there are several things in a relationship that I would consider to be immediate, and permanent deal-breakers, but while it is an ideal and not a straitjacket, I guess what I was wondering is whether or not I should even invest in the ideal. Or instead either throw my hands up in the air and enter a never-ending string of casual (or semi-casual) relationships, or just swear off romance and dating all together (or maybe take the two in turn).

 

Again, the question wasn't really "Why stay with a (life) partner", but simply why buy into the idea of having one.

 

I've got a friend who is around my age, but is still single. His last serious relationship (that I'm aware of) was more then ten years ago. However, he's very much self-contained. He doesn't need someone else. He's comfortable being a solitary person, though he's quite open to a relationship if one develops. He just doesn't need it.

That's sort of where I see myself, only not quite to the same extent. I do occasionally actively date and I purposely put myself in situations where romance and dating can pop up, but I definitely don't see it as a big priority or consuming need.

 

Can feel like it, too.

I would expect nothing less.

 

 

Anyway, thanks for the comments everyone! As I said I have decide to be open to the idea. In fact I'd decided that even before starting the thread. I guess I just wanted (and still want) your opinions on why this is something you want/do/would want.

 

Take care all

Kevin

[Tiger]

Sorry to mislead you, Tim. I definitely agree that it would be short sighted and just stupid to avoid something simply because society teaches it as an ideal. I'm certainly not going to be a contrarian simply for the sake of doing it. I just meant that I similarly wasn't going to be a conformist simply for the sake of doing it.

 

In this case, having considered the matter (the point was mostly to consider it in the first place), I've decided the possibility is something I'm open to, and will likely (continue) to actively pursue.

I must have misunderstood. There are some who hold the contrarian ideology. I thought maybe you had been burned in the past. Truth be told, most people have been hurt in some point in life. Eventually, you just have to suck it up and move on. That is all you can really do.