Describe your perfect wedding

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi everyone!

 

Old Bob actually suggested this thread in reference to something I said in another thread (Thanks, Old Bob! ). So I thought it would be fun for us to describe our hypothetical, ideal wedding.

 

Please refrain from mixing in politics or legal issues in this thread. Also, if you're against getting married, then that's fine, but please feel welcome to post your 'wedding ideas' if you feel so inclined anyway. Regardless, I don't mean for this to be a discussion of gay marriage only gay weddings. Although straight people, please chime in with your thoughts and comments as well!

 

 

 

So I'll probably add more later, but roughly my perfect wedding would be something like the following:

 

It would be a big affair attended by all our friends, family members, and co-workers. Obviously no one would have anything negative to say. I expect that most of the people at my 'ideal wedding' would be GLBT anyway since the majority of my friends are. There wouldn't be any 'groomsmen' or 'bridesmaids', whether the wedding party would be completely mixed with people of all genders and orientations, based purely on how close they are with the groom for whom they're standing. I would like a very large wedding party, probably 5-10 people for each of us, plus of course a 'best man/woman' for each of us, and any family/friends doing the 'giving away', 'ringbearing', or 'flower childing'.

 

I want to be formally dressed, but I don't like traditional suits/tuxes. So I'd probably opt for some tailored slacks, probably gray, very nice shoes with a matching belt - I think I'd like the belt buckle to stand out a bit without being gaudy or over-done - I'm thinking either a light blue or dark red shirt that's well-tailored and fits snuggly but doesn't make me look like hustle. Probably a nice vest as well either gray to match the slacks or black to match the shoes and belt (I'd have to see the outfit to decide). I would not wear a jacket or tie because I really don't like the way the look guys. Also, I primarily want to stand out from the other men in the wedding party (thus the fact that I would likely wear gray slacks versus the more common black). If I could get away with it without looking like a pimp I'd quite like a sort of 'ceremonial' walking cane and a gold chain and watch. I wouldn't want to go too far though so I might opt against that. I'd probably wear the shirt with a couple of buttons open (but again, not enough to make me look like a slut) and with the collar flared forward a bit (again, not over-done). I would of course have just come from having my hair done and getting a manicure, pedicure, facial, and message. I wouldn't care what my fiance wore as long as it expressed his personality and made him happy.

 

I think I'd like to get married in a nice, big church. It would be ideal if I could do it in the church I currently attend. It's BEAUTIFUL, very large, and done in the classic church style with plush carpet, stone walls, a massive alter area, VERY high ceilings, and arches and chandeliers everywhere. It's unlikely my church could do it though because it's against the rules of the broader denomination (although my particular church, congregation, and minister are very gay affirming and I know they would do it if they could. Either way I'd probably invite a lot of them). So failing my own church I'd probably look around for an elegant looking church of a different denomination that did have gay marriage. I briefly attended an all-gay church (MCC) so I know I could use their church if I had to, and it's a nice enough church, but it's a bit more modern than I had in mind. If I absolutely couldn't find a traditional looking church that would do it (but I think I can), I'd probably opt for a formal hall of some kind.

 

The reception I would want to take place in a large, formal hall (thus why I wouldn't want to have the actual wedding there) that attached to a fancy and beautiful garden. That way it would sort of be like a 'garden party' but people could go in and out as they pleased. There would of course be some excellent vegetarian choices, but naturally I'd also have quite a few meaty selections for the carnivores. I haven't actually properly planned out a menu just yet, but that's something I'll delight in doing later. I'm thinking I'll have fish for my wedding. I mean me personally, naturally there would be fish available anyway. I quit eating fish last year (prior to that I was a pesci, lacto, ovo vegetarian), and occasionally I still miss them, plus I've always really loved fish (whereas I never liked other meats much), so for the occasion I'd probably personally have fish. Of course we'd also have a lot of champaign and wine, and I'd want an open bar as well.

 

Despite the fact that I usually like to mingle freely, and also the fact that I'm not at all clingy I'd probably want and expect my new husband and I to remain side by side throughout the reception. So I'd mostly leave 'making the rounds' to our wedding party and immediate, close friends and family. I'd probably just want us to position ourselves somewhere fairly central and if people wanted to come and wish us well they could come up to us (and be most welcomed of course!), but just for the night I wouldn't want to have to worry about being the ideal host (as I said, for this that's what the wedding party, close friends and family would be for). Naturally we'd dance the first dance together at the center of the floor and kiss gently but deeply as the song closed. I haven't selected the song yet, but that's another delight which lays in store for me!

 

I'd want the honeymoon to be somewhere gorgeous and naturey but with EXCELLENT accommodations and amenities. We wouldn't even bring our cell phones, computers, or anything else with us (remember this is an ideal wedding, so naturally there'd be no risk of us getting lost or finding ourselves in any other kind of danger ). I think I would primarily want four things for my honeymoon activities:

 

-Lots of great sex (hey that's a given right )

-Lots of great scenic and beautiful walks with my husbands

-Lots of great food

-Lots of great conversation (before, during, and after each of the before mentioned activities)

 

Notice I didn't even say shopping! No, I'd want a pretty secluded and non-commercial honeymoon (but I do want the great accommodations, amenities, and food). The major point would be for it to be emotionally intense and very relaxing and peaceful.

 

 

So that's a rough overview of mine

 

What would you guys and gals want?

 

Take care all and may the wedding of your dreams come true!

-Kevin

[kitten]

My perfect wedding would be one which I don't attend.

[Krista]

Aww, the romantic in you Kevin.. shew.. and no shopping!?

 

 

Anyway on to my perfect wedding. First I'd want to be completely surprised by the engagement, which means if I want to marry David he had better not tell his Mommy his plans because she's a big gossip and I'd be told before he could get from his house to mine, which is not really a 20 minute drive away.

 

On to the actual wedding, I want to be married outside. I want a small wedding with just family members and really close friends in attendance. I would hope that David's family all be there. I've not really met them since their family is so spread out over the country, well world, he has some family members that live in Australia. So I would want to meet every member of his family. I already have the dress, it's a dress I bought when I was preparing my wedding to Jared. I still think it's the perfect dress for my wedding. As for the place, I would want to be married in the spring, during a sunny day. The wind can be blowing slightly, actually I would like for it to be blowing a slight breeze, just enough to keep people cool and to cause the flowers, balloons, my hair to blow. I want my Mom to give me away. I do though want the chairs for the guests to be sitting on stone as well as where I would be walking when I make my entrance. It doesn't have to be permanently placed just placed there for the wedding and then taken up again as I would like to be married in my back yard. I want all my friends to be my bridesmaids, and have navy blue dresses that flow no gaudy large ruffled mess, just little simple dresses. I would prefer David wear a black tux, I don't like a white tux.

 

I'd want an adventurous honey moon. I discussed an African safari for a week and a half. We have all the time in the world for romance.. lol.

[BeaStKid]

Ah, well... I don't think I would have a perfect traditional wedding anytime soon, considering the conditions here. Even if it were different, there would be religious problems....like each religion has a different set of wedding traditions...

 

So, I think, my dream marriage would be actually getting married...

 

Well, if I were to get married to a girl, then there wouldn't be any problem...I would love a traditional Sikh wedding. Even a Hindu wedding would do...

 

BeaStKid

[Benji]

............Since I just celebrated 25 years, I thought I'd weigh in here with mine;

 

I set up the entire wedding outside my parents large backyard, the tables (I made a deal with a local church I repaired their broken tables and they let me us them and the chairs), the food.. Prime rib, salad, baked potatoes (sit-down dinner for 80 people) I rented a large bar-b-que with a spit for the prime ribs ( watch out goat I know how to set this up). {BTW total cost including Rabbi

Edited June 26, 2008 by Benji

[rknapp]

Ideal wedding? I wasn't planning on anything formal, but I think the best way to go about it would be to be completely private. If he wants a few friends to witness it, then I would be fine with that, but I wouldn't want anything large. We would be dressed casual and would do it in a place that makes us happy (beach, woods, home, sea, airplane, whatever) and all we would do is exchange simple vows and rings. There's no point in having some huge extravaganza because we would have the rest of our lives to make the union special.

 

No priest spitting out God this and Lord that nonsense. I've heard it enough times that I know that He wishes us well, I don't need a priest to tell us that. However if he wants one then I'll get him one. It's just as much his day as it is mine, so I would certainly be willing to compromise.

 

As far as a honeymoon goes... we'd go only where he wants to go. I have no where in mind to go, so I would that up to him... which could be a camping trip, Japan, or a European vacation...

[rknapp]

............Since I just celebrated 25 years, I thought I'd weigh in here with mine;

 

I set up the entire wedding outside my parents large backyard, the tables (I made a deal with a local church I repaired their broken tables and they let me us them and the chairs), the food.. Prime rib, salad, baked potatoes (sit-down dinner for 80 people) I rented a large bar-b-que with a spit for the prime ribs ( watch out goat I know how to set this up). {BTW total cost including Rabbi

[Benji]

Note to self: Leave Benji out of the wedding planning.

 

 

......but!!.. but!!.... but!!, on 2nd thought he may be right

[Rakuten06]

Ideal wedding? I wasn't planning on anything formal, but I think the best way to go about it would be to be completely private. If he wants a few friends to witness it, then I would be fine with that, but I wouldn't want anything large. We would be dressed casual and would do it in a place that makes us happy (beach, woods, home, sea, airplane, whatever) and all we would do is exchange simple vows and rings. There's no point in having some huge extravaganza because we would have the rest of our lives to make the union special.

 

No priest spitting out God this and Lord that nonsense. I've heard it enough times that I know that He wishes us well, I don't need a priest to tell us that. However if he wants one then I'll get him one. It's just as much his day as it is mine, so I would certainly be willing to compromise.

 

As far as a honeymoon goes... we'd go only where he wants to go. I have no where in mind to go, so I would that up to him... which could be a camping trip, Japan, or a European vacation...

 

As what Robbie says, It's best way for us to go the union casual and private. I'm a Catholic but I'm not practicing, so I don't need a priest, just says a few words and exchange words in the place that are special in our lives. Honeymoon... as long as we have enough money to go where we want to go, I don't mind to go to Germany and visit the town where I was born to complete the full circle of my life...

[corvus]

I would do an engagement over dinner in restaurant. (The only reason I'd do an engagement is so my coworkers don't get shocked by the sudden appearance of a wedding band.) I'd sign the wedding papers, turn it in, and then share a glass of champagne while watching the sunset. We'd save our honeymoon for when we're both retired, because then we'd have something to look forward to and not get divorced after a few weeks.

 

[rknapp]

Another thing I thought about regarding the advantages of a private, quiet ceremony is that it is easy to recreate that magic year after year, keeping the torch blazing forever. Whereas many couples who have a big shindig wind up in the gutter knowing they can't repeat that... some lucky few can recreate the magic at each anniversary, but I think most are incapable of that.

[AFriendlyFace]

On to the actual wedding...

 

....

 

...I'd want an adventurous honey moon. I discussed an African safari for a week and a half. We have all the time in the world for romance.. lol.

That all sounds really lovely, Krista!

 

............Since I just celebrated 25 years, I thought I'd weigh in here with mine...

 

....

 

...I couldn

Edited June 27, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Ieshwar]

It would be in a place close to Nature. Perhaps, seaside? I\'m thinking of Sarah\'s and Mike\'s wedding in Storm Nation. I loved it a lot! Or it would be in a park, somewhere green with trees but not too much to make it a forest. Season wise, Spring is good. But not summer plz!

 

There wont be much people. Only close friends and family. People who will be happy in our happiness. I dont know how Catholic\'s weddings are in real. But I have read enough in stories. So it will be somewhat like that. Though there wont be much God stuff.

 

I havent thought much about clothes. I like black tux. Well. Perhaps, my husband and i could decide together.

 

Thanks for the thread, Kevin!

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[Menzoberranzen]

The perfect wedding is no wedding at all.

[rknapp]

[...]

Just my preferences though

 

-Kevin

To each his own, Kevvers. You and I would never get along lol, but John and I are doing great!

 

As for the rings... the only reason I mentioned them is to have something symbolic and sentimental so that if we're ever apart (business trip or whatnot) I can just look at the ring, remember him, and smile. It doesn't haven't to be a ring, though. It could be anything -- bracelet, necklace, locket, an object to hold, whatever.

 

Rings are also the international symbol for "I'M MARRIED LADIES, BACK OFF!!", which is important because I don't want some skanks moving in on my man

 

rawr!

[Jack Frost]

I already did mine almost three years ago. I married in October 2005, just over a year and half when Quebec allowed gay marriage and a few months after Canada allowed it nationwide.

 

I married at a city courthouse at the Old Port in Montreal. The room was nice, roomy, and full of chairs. A very kind judge of peace presided the whole ceremony and it was done in French. We weren't dressed too formally. I wore sneakers, khaki pants, sky-blue-white striped shirt from the Gap, and a dark-blue cover shirt. Same for my husband, but he wore dark-green. We exchanged rings, kisses, and hugs. My husband gave me a wonderful statement that made some people cry. We only invited several friends and cousins of my husband. No one I knew came. I wanted my best friend to come, but he couldn't make it because of the cost of getting to Montreal.

 

Yes, we didn't invite our family. Not even our parents. For a very obvious reason.

 

After that, we walked around in the Old Port. And then to an Irish pub in downtown for an after-wedding party with beer and dinners.

 

It was very informal and OUT of traditions.

 

We'll do it better in the future once we finally live with each other. It's weird to be married and separated.

 

We'll just have an affirmation of vows ceremony somewhere out in the countryside. I would still like it to be in fall surrounded by tree colors. We'll invite our families this time and make it more glamorous since our families now know we're married. Of course, again...the ceremony will be still devoided of traditions.

Edited July 8, 2008 by Jack Frost

[AFriendlyFace]

Well that sounds lovely, Frosty

 

We'll do it better in the future once we finally live with each other. It's weird to be married and separated.

I didn't realize you lived apart.

[Daisy]

So I'll probably add more later, but roughly my perfect wedding would be something like the following:

 

I can't believe you have it planned out in such detail already!

 

I kind of abstractly think of getting married, ie, its something I expect to do maybe. but plans...goodness. the church thing I realised the other day when questioned would have to be done, because now I'm a committed christian of course its about a promise in front of God. other than that its all to way far off, no prospective person in sight. I agree about the quiet/relaxed honeymoon versus adventure.

 

I think my dad's wedding was nice (although I wasnt there). basically it was all about their commitment to each other and love. it was just a private expression of that. he wasnt even going to tell us he was going to do it, but I think I got about a months warning. they went to scotland to his fav town (golf reasons ), registry office, no wedding dress, he was in fairly relaxed clothing, no tie, top buttons open, he doesnt care about rings, but she had a platinum ring, just 2 witnesses from the street, there is even a pic of them on the beach in wellies after (its a bit of a miserable beach really ). then a quiet week in his small home in france by themselves (don't be fooled they probably did house/garden chores). of course they'd both done the big wedding with their old partners so that was out of their (and their parents) systems, but I never got to be a bridesmaid . For mine I think I would like friends and family there, but only the ones that I am close to and like, or has some memory attached to them, no hangers on. other than that no clue. (we did force him to have an immediate family gathering on both sides at the house a few months after which he reluctantly conceded).

 

celia

Edited July 7, 2008 by Smarties

[AFriendlyFace]

I can't believe you have it planned out in such detail already!

LOL, it really doesn't seem 'planned out' to me at all. It's just what I realized I wanted as I briefly pondered this question.

 

I kind of abstractly think of getting married, ie, its something I expect to do maybe. but plans...goodness. the church thing I realised the other day when questioned would have to be done, because now I'm a committed christian of course its about a promise in front of God. other than that its all to way far off, no prospective person in sight. I agree about the quiet/relaxed honeymoon versus adventure.

It seems abstract to me as well, and really I'll be fine with not marrying if the right person doesn't come along.

 

For me I don't think the church part actually has much to do with religion. The clergyman does, but not the church. The church part is just an aspect I do find appealing in tradition and I think it would be a pretty place. It wouldn't really be about faith and religion though. As I said, the clergyman part would be, but I really think I'd feel just as 'blessed by God' if it took place outside of a church.

 

I think my dad's wedding was nice (although I wasnt there). basically it was all about their commitment to each other and love. it was just a private expression of that. he wasnt even going to tell us he was going to do it, but I think I got about a months warning. they went to scotland to his fav town (golf reasons ), registry office, no wedding dress, he was in fairly relaxed clothing, no tie, top buttons open, he doesnt care about rings, but she had a platinum ring, just 2 witnesses from the street, there is even a pic of them on the beach in wellies after (its a bit of a miserable beach really ). then a quiet week in his small home in france by themselves (don't be fooled they probably did house/garden chores). of course they'd both done the big wedding with their old partners so that was out of their (and their parents) systems, but I never got to be a bridesmaid . For mine I think I would like friends and family there, but only the ones that I am close to and like, or has some memory attached to them, no hangers on. other than that no clue. (we did force him to have an immediate family gathering on both sides at the house a few months after which he reluctantly conceded).

 

celia

That does sound like something they must have enjoyed

[Dion]

If I can add mine:

 

I'd like to be married in a Japanese strolling garden, in springtime, on a low bridge. We would exchange pinned bracelets, the kind that don't come off.

 

As for the rest of the details, I have to confess I haven't thought that far ahead...

[AFriendlyFace]

I'd like to be married in a Japanese strolling garden, in springtime, on a low bridge. We would exchange pinned bracelets, the kind that don't come off.

That sounds gorgeous! I've frequented just such a place in springtime, with a bridge of sorts, and it was amazing

 

Definitely a good place to get married. I'm picturing the blossoms lightly blowing in the breeze as you exchange vows

[Daisy]

For me I don't think the church part actually has much to do with religion. The clergyman does, but not the church. The church part is just an aspect I do find appealing in tradition and I think it would be a pretty place. It wouldn't really be about faith and religion though. As I said, the clergyman part would be, but I really think I'd feel just as 'blessed by God' if it took place outside of a church.

 

That does sound like something they must have enjoyed

 

Yeah I wasnt really refering to the actual building. I have no idea how these things work, so if they are allowed outside then good , but I'm not reallly sure how fussy about that I would be. or even how fussy I would be of the person who was doing the ceremony, as long as i liked them and agreed with what they believed in, or somebody I know from the church (I know people from quite a few diff style ones). its the promise thats important not the officialness of it. as I say not really considered any of this before.

 

I'm just not a person who thinks about detail like that, I'm ususally a last minute person (which is not always good, or ever).

celia

Edited July 7, 2008 by Smarties

[AFriendlyFace]

I'm just not a person who thinks about detail like that, I'm ususally a last minute person (which is not always good, or ever).

"Honey, we're getting married tomorrow...do you think it's about time we picked out a place to do it? You think I should start looking for a dress?"

 

[Jack Frost]

I didn't realize you lived apart.

Six months we have lived together alongside with his parents from Nov. 2005 until April 2006.

 

The cost of living (we can't pay them off on a part-time job) and our focus on finishing school prevent us from living togther. We're used to it and we think it's best for us for now. We have some priorities to achieve first that will create a stable future for us when we live together. That would be finishing our university studies and getting my permament residency, which are very costy to achieve. It would be more difficult to pay off the tuition and immigration fees if we live together in an apartment. It would be quicker to get those priorities done without living together.

Edited July 8, 2008 by Jack Frost

[AFriendlyFace]

Six months we have lived together alongside with his parents from Nov. 2005 until April 2006.

 

The cost of living (we can't pay them off on a part-time job) and our focus on finishing school prevent us from living togther. We're used to it and we think it's best for us for now. We have some priorities to achieve first that will create a stable future for us when we live together. That would be finishing our university studies and getting my permament residency, which are very costy to achieve. It would be more difficult to pay off the tuition and immigration fees if we live together in an apartment. It would be quicker to get those priorities done without living together.

It's wonderful that you're able to be so sensible and practical about the whole thing! I'm happy for you and proud of you! Sounds like you've got your priorities right