The seed has been sown...

[Tiger]

It's certainly better than my own mother's reaction. Yours at least seems to accept you. Mine only accepts me to the point where she'll pray that I won't be gay anymore. <sigh> At some point I may decide to completely cut her out of my life. Anyway, I'm happy for you, and I'm sorry for venting.

[AFriendlyFace]

It's certainly better than my own mother's reaction. Yours at least seems to accept you. Mine only accepts me to the point where she'll pray that I won't be gay anymore. <sigh> At some point I may decide to completely cut her out of my life. Anyway, I'm happy for you, and I'm sorry for venting.

 

I'm so sorry, Tim

[rknapp]

It's certainly better than my own mother's reaction. Yours at least seems to accept you. Mine only accepts me to the point where she'll pray that I won't be gay anymore. <sigh> At some point I may decide to completely cut her out of my life. Anyway, I'm happy for you, and I'm sorry for venting.

We can't all be so lucky... remember that neither my mom nor my sister knows how my dad will react, so he's being kept in the dark for now.

[Daisy]

We can't all be so lucky... remember that neither my mom nor my sister knows how my dad will react, so he's being kept in the dark for now.

 

 

Congrats!!! Welldone for having the courage to answer the question honestly!

I hope things will be easier for you from now on....now that you can begin to live more freely .

 

Tiger, at least you've had the courage to tell as well, i havent done that, and don't worry about venting .

Edited August 27, 2008 by Smarties

[twolf]

It's certainly better than my own mother's reaction. Yours at least seems to accept you. Mine only accepts me to the point where she'll pray that I won't be gay anymore. <sigh> At some point I may decide to completely cut her out of my life. Anyway, I'm happy for you, and I'm sorry for venting.

 

Venting helps to release the build up of stress. We are here to listen, so keep on venting if need be.

[Benji]

It's certainly better than my own mother's reaction. Yours at least seems to accept you. Mine only accepts me to the point where she'll pray that I won't be gay anymore. <sigh> At some point I may decide to completely cut her out of my life. Anyway, I'm happy for you, and I'm sorry for venting.

 

............I did not know that, so sorry Tim to hear that, my mom is deceased I'm not really sure how she would have reacted, but in my mind and heart I truly think that she knew. And never said anything to me about it. I had no balls to find out.

[rknapp]

Well, I can tell that my dad at least cares about me. I've been really depressed recently, and he picked up on it yesterday. He had asked if I had been crying yesterday afternoon, then during dinner he asked me why I looked so down-trodden. I wanted to tell the truth, but instead lied and said I was fine. *sigh* I think he is my last hurdle. I might want to also tell my friend, Trish, in person, just because she's been in love with me for the past 5+ years and she deserves to be told face to face, rather than through Facebook some years down the road. This won't be for a while though, unless I am asked like my mom asked me.

[Benji]

Well, I can tell that my dad at least cares about me. I've been really depressed recently, and he picked up on it yesterday. He had asked if I had been crying yesterday afternoon, then during dinner he asked me why I looked so down-trodden. I wanted to tell the truth, but instead lied and said I was fine. *sigh* I think he is my last hurdle. I might want to also tell my friend, Trish, in person, just because she's been in love with me for the past 5+ years and she deserves to be told face to face, rather than through Facebook some years down the road. This won't be for a while though, unless I am asked like my mom asked me.

 

.......Good luck, you sure your mom hasn't hinted to your dad?

[AFriendlyFace]

Well, I can tell that my dad at least cares about me. I've been really depressed recently, and he picked up on it yesterday. He had asked if I had been crying yesterday afternoon, then during dinner he asked me why I looked so down-trodden. I wanted to tell the truth, but instead lied and said I was fine. *sigh* I think he is my last hurdle. I might want to also tell my friend, Trish, in person, just because she's been in love with me for the past 5+ years and she deserves to be told face to face, rather than through Facebook some years down the road. This won't be for a while though, unless I am asked like my mom asked me.

Awww

 

I'm sorry you've been glum recently, Robbie

[KJames]

If she's that into piercings, just tell her.

[rknapp]

Funny that this thread resurfaced. My homophobic best friend called me last week and asked the big question, "Are you gay?" Apparently he's been thinking about it for a while and didn't know how to approach me on it. He said that I'm always going to be his best friend in the entire world, the best man at his wedding, and nothing would ever change between us. He pulled the "I tell you everything about me" card since he told me about some unsavory aspects of his life from a year ago. I haven't given him an answer yet, but I suppose he's figured it out for himself.

 

Saturday night I went out with my other slightly homophobic best friend, Trish, to dinner and the movies (saw Changeling, definitely recommend it). While we were sitting in the theater's cafe waiting for the movie clear out so we could go in, we somehow got on the topic of gays. It was on her friend at her school, and our mutual friend in Italy. Her friend barely fits the stereotype (hails from Missouri, going to school in Pennsylvania) but we were disgusted by his lifestyle (has an open relationship with his boyfriend in the sense that if either of them sees a cute guy, they'll try and bring him home for a threesome). Our mutual friend in Italy fits the stereotype perfectly and even crosses his Ts and dots his Is while doing it, and I told her how he FINALLY came out. Anyway, she said that I'm definitely not gay, to which I replied with, "Would it matter if I was?" She said no, then after a little more conversation she put two and two together and said she was surprised, but doesn't care. I never actually said, "I'm gay," but hinted it.

 

So out of three people remaining, one knows, one pretty much knows, and one isn't allowed to know until I graduate and move out to start my career (my dad). So close to total freedom, yet so far. I dunno if I mentioned it, but ALL of my friends at my old school know, and most of them have met JW through webcam now.

[hh5]

Can you imagine now you will have less Grey hairs by cutting out all that worrying!!!

 

Congratulations on a blissful coming out!!!

That's a great success story.

[MikeL]

Great going, Robbie. Stick with your plan. All the best to you.

 

Your hair color is still perfect, too.

[KJames]

Funny that this thread resurfaced. My homophobic best friend called me last week and asked the big question, "Are you gay?" Apparently he's been thinking about it for a while and didn't know how to approach me on it. He said that I'm always going to be his best friend in the entire world, the best man at his wedding, and nothing would ever change between us. He pulled the "I tell you everything about me" card since he told me about some unsavory aspects of his life from a year ago. I haven't given him an answer yet, but I suppose he's figured it out for himself.

 

That's the best news you could get from him, before you even tell him.

 

Saturday night I went out with my other slightly homophobic best friend, Trish, to dinner and the movies (saw Changeling, definitely recommend it). While we were sitting in the theater's cafe waiting for the movie clear out so we could go in, we somehow got on the topic of gays. It was on her friend at her school, and our mutual friend in Italy. Her friend barely fits the stereotype (hails from Missouri, going to school in Pennsylvania) but we were disgusted by his lifestyle (has an open relationship with his boyfriend in the sense that if either of them sees a cute guy, they'll try and bring him home for a threesome). Our mutual friend in Italy fits the stereotype perfectly and even crosses his Ts and dots his Is while doing it, and I told her how he FINALLY came out. Anyway, she said that I'm definitely not gay, to which I replied with, "Would it matter if I was?" She said no, then after a little more conversation she put two and two together and said she was surprised, but doesn't care. I never actually said, "I'm gay," but hinted it.

 

Two down, one to go...

 

So out of three people remaining, one knows, one pretty much knows, and one isn't allowed to know until I graduate and move out to start my career (my dad). So close to total freedom, yet so far. I dunno if I mentioned it, but ALL of my friends at my old school know, and most of them have met JW through webcam now.

 

If your dad picked up on your stress level the other evening, don't you kind of get the feeling that he would rather you were happy? If it would make no difference, what are his other feelings around this issue? Might he prefer that you were at least trusting enough of him to be honest? I'm not saying come out and just yell in his face, but be observant of him, and from that try to determine what his feelings might be--you're obviously a very intelligent young man and should be able to figure some of this out. Besides, when all is said and done your sister can give him grandchildren to spoil...

 

Best of luck on telling or waiting...btw, your pics of the other weekend were very nice...you're both very goodlooking and I for one hope that you both have a long relationship together.

[rknapp]

If your dad picked up on your stress level the other evening, don't you kind of get the feeling that he would rather you were happy? If it would make no difference, what are his other feelings around this issue? Might he prefer that you were at least trusting enough of him to be honest? I'm not saying come out and just yell in his face, but be observant of him, and from that try to determine what his feelings might be--you're obviously a very intelligent young man and should be able to figure some of this out. Besides, when all is said and done your sister can give him grandchildren to spoil...

 

Best of luck on telling or waiting...btw, your pics of the other weekend were very nice...you're both very goodlooking and I for one hope that you both have a long relationship together.

Both my sister and mother advised against telling him until I can support myself, which is a couple years yet. My mother, for one, believes that me being gay would kill him. He is tolerant of gays, but beyond that I really have no idea where his morals lie, being raised catholic by a very religious mother (my grandmother).

[KJames]

Both my sister and mother advised against telling him until I can support myself, which is a couple years yet. My mother, for one, believes that me being gay would kill him. He is tolerant of gays, but beyond that I really have no idea where his morals lie, being raised catholic by a very religious mother (my grandmother).

 

Again, be observant, he may come out in reverse to you by telling you what I previously told you, that he wants you to be happy and that while it may take him time to get used to it, he doesn't fault you for something that might not be under your control.

 

Here's what I picked for the bookmarks we gave out on our wedding day:

 

Love...is patient and kind;

Love is not jealous, or conceited, or proud, or provoked;

Love does not keep a record of wrongs;

Love is not happy with evil, but is pleased with the Truth.

Love never gives up;

Its Faith, Hope, and Patience never fail.

 

It is actually verse from the Bible, but I forget chapter and verse--it's not included with the printing--if you have an electronic version, you could search it.

 

Don't forget, God made all of us exactly as perfect as He wants us to be.

 

~God's greatest gift is the power to love. Love doesn't come with an on-off switch, it is God's gift between souls to help them find one another.~

Edited November 6, 2008 by kjames

[glomph]

It's from the 13th chapter of I Corinthians. The whole chapter is about love, and it's often used at weddings. It's about the self-giving nature of love, and is appropriate to the love of marriage partners, but certainly not primarily about marriage as such or limited to that relationship. The Corinthians were divisively arguing over the values of different talents and gifts. St. Paul (the author of the letter) tells them that in the process they are missing out on the really big gifts: faith, hope, and love. All the others will pass away, Paul says at the end of chapter 13, but these three will abide, and the greatest of these is love.

[KJames]

It's from the 13th chapter of I Corinthians. The whole chapter is about love, and it's often used at weddings. It's about the self-giving nature of love, and is appropriate to the love of marriage partners, but certainly not primarily about marriage as such or limited to that relationship. The Corinthians were divisively arguing over the values of different talents and gifts. St. Paul (the author of the letter) tells them that in the process they are missing out on the really big gifts: faith, hope, and love. All the others will pass away, Paul says at the end of chapter 13, but these three will abide, and the greatest of these is love.

 

Thanks for the assist...I'll have to go look it up......yeah, we do have a bible........it was a housewarming gift, actually, and is--IIRC--a 4-way cross referenced book, i.e.: Bible (Old & New T's.), Talmud, and Quran, perhaps not, but at least I have something to go look for...