Get It

[AnytaSunday]

Hey peeps,

 

Get It

 

I know this is a just a short wee thing (three parts), but I thought I'd start a thread for anyone wishing to talk about the perspective this story is written in. See, I'm trying to decide if the project I'm planning/working on now should be in the first person or the third.

 

Which person do you prefer? Third/first? Why?

 

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[AnytaSunday]

Okay, part two of three is up.

 

Third person folks? Do I overdo using Benny's name? Are there confusions in the text?

 

Also, I will get out part three really soon and then I promise I'll leave you all alone for a bit. I'll still be around reading other stories though. hehe. Thanks for reading, peeps.

 

[AnytaSunday]

Haha, I'm the only one on here. Well, Part three is up and wraps this story together.

 

Well, on the off chance someone reads this and replies: Would you want a short story following Heath and his issues? (I'd have time poss. in December to do this--after Nano.)

 

[Agaith]

I thought you did a great job Anyta!

I'm so glad Benny and James finally got together and Benny finally realised (the idiot!)

I personally don't mind writing or reading in first or third.

You pulled third off here Anyta, third tends to be easier to understand i feel because you normally use the characters name rather than 'I'.

 

Loved it as usual can't wait for more

[AnytaSunday]

I thought you did a great job Anyta!

I'm so glad Benny and James finally got together and Benny finally realised (the idiot!)

I personally don't mind writing or reading in first or third.

You pulled third off here Anyta, third tends to be easier to understand i feel because you normally use the characters name rather than 'I'.

 

Loved it as usual can't wait for more

 

Thanks Agaith. Lol, yeah Benny is in my opinion a loveable idiot. Sometimes I wanted to squeeze him and just make him see. But, alas, he took his time. At least he got there eventually. Better late than never, right?

[Agaith]

Thanks Agaith. Lol, yeah Benny is in my opinion a loveable idiot. Sometimes I wanted to squeeze him and just make him see. But, alas, he took his time. At least he got there eventually. Better late than never, right?

 

 

Yeah late is always better than never

[AnytaSunday]

Okay, DON'T READ THIS IF YOU LOVED THE STORY AND WOULDN'T WANT ANYTHING OTHER THAN A HAPPY END

 

 

Nephy--because you asked: The idea for a longer story would be from James's perspective because at age 39 Benny, the love of his life, dies from heart complications. I thought to explore the idea of second loves--how the first will never be forgotten, but that there needs to be moving on as well. Of course James never intends, expects, or wants to be with anyone else. But feelings don't always do as they're told.... But at this stage it's only an idea.

 

 

Actually, I'm open to the idea of a round robin story, if anyone is interested. Basically, each write one or two chapters pass it on and it'll be a surprise where the story is taken. Though I'd think there should be a set amount of chapters so that there'd end up being a proper beg. middle. and end. And it would have to happen after Nano.

 

Okay, now better get back to reading a really cool story.

[Nephylim]

I thought you were going to give a spoiler here... enticed in under false pretences

 

 

Seriously I loved this story and I was extremely fond of both characters. Now with me, if I had mentioned that one of my characters had a heart condition then he would at least have suffered some and knocked at death's door, if not walked through it. I am the biggest hypocrite in the world because I would be furious if you killed Benny (well.... not really). Make him suffer, I'm cool with that - maybe James and Heath could get friendly in the ICU... not TOO freindly of course JK of course

 

Seriously, I would lke to hear more about Heath because at this point I am not liking him too much. I would also like to hear about James AND Benny when they're older

 

I also think you should continue the experiment in third person because you're doing a great job.

 

:)

 

 

[AnytaSunday]

I thought you were going to give a spoiler here... enticed in under false pretences

 

 

Seriously I loved this story and I was extremely fond of both characters. Now with me, if I had mentioned that one of my characters had a heart condition then he would at least have suffered some and knocked at death's door, if not walked through it. I am the biggest hypocrite in the world because I would be furious if you killed Benny (well.... not really). Make him suffer, I'm cool with that - maybe James and Heath could get friendly in the ICU... not TOO freindly of course JK of course

 

Seriously, I would lke to hear more about Heath because at this point I am not liking him too much. I would also like to hear about James AND Benny when they're older

 

I also think you should continue the experiment in third person because you're doing a great job.

 

:)

 

 

 

Hehe, I think we were on here at the same time. The spoiler thingy is up. Thanks for the message though. And no, Heath's story won't merge with James at all. I have another idea for him. Sort of sad. Hopefully real sweet. We'll see. Thanks!!!

[Nephylim]

*sigh*... Okay then... go for it. It sounds cool. I had no idea until today what a round robin was. I'd be up for that for sure.

[Forty-Two]

I LOVE the idea for the sequel/continuation of the story. The main theme is definitely something that doesn't get explored enough.

 

Nephy's comment made me remember that I was definitely expecting something bigger to happen with the heart thing, for an episode or something to be the thing that brings them together. I suppose it did a bit, but not in a climaxy way. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I like the real-world situation of just lying there and suddenly having an eureka moment.

[AnytaSunday]

I LOVE the idea for the sequel/continuation of the story. The main theme is definitely something that doesn't get explored enough.

 

Nephy's comment made me remember that I was definitely expecting something bigger to happen with the heart thing, for an episode or something to be the thing that brings them together. I suppose it did a bit, but not in a climaxy way. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I like the real-world situation of just lying there and suddenly having an eureka moment.

Super duper. I'll mull over the idea over the next few months. Maybe early next year sometime I'll get round to writing it. We'll see.

 

As for that eueka moment, lol, I could have done something more dramatic, but sometimes they come right smack bang in the middle of the mundane.

 

Thanks for your comments. See you around, I'm sure!

[Forty-Two]

Not if I see you first!

 

(I know that was so lame, but it just had to be said )

[AnytaSunday]

Reviews For Get It

 

 

Title: The Unrequited Shit Stings Reviewer: adamo

 

I've been re-reading this story over and over again for the past

couple days I just wanted to let you know that its one of my favorite

and the most sweetest stories on GA. I just wish it wasn't so short...

:(Also I have a clear picture of what James looks like but Benny not so much. What does he look like?

 

Author's

Response: Thank you sooooo much adamo, hehe, this was a sweet one to

write too! As for Benny and what he looks like, well, in my mind he's

gently toned, brown somewhat wavy hair, a little shorter than James, but

not by too much, he's probably 5foot10. Um, and hot.

Date: 12/12/2010 05:53 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: The Unrequited Shit Stings Reviewer: adamo

 

Such a lovely story. I think I prefer first person with your

writing style. It flows a bit better. I like 3rd person too, just 1st

person better.

 

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the

story, adamo. First person is a favorite of mine, I admit. I do need

to practice writing in third person though, maybe future stories that I

write in third will be better? Hopefully, anyway. Thanks so much for

reading!

Date: 11/28/2010 11:36 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: A Hopeless Case Reviewer: Forty-Two

 

That was such an easy read. Great flow, good amount of character

detail, necessary physical details were blended in quite seamlessly.

The sexy bit was nicely done. The overall story was a little bland,

nothing too remarkable away from the "Guy A likes Guy B while Guy B

likes Guy C then Guy B realizes things are better with Guy A" plot, but

the good writing made it interesting.

I think the third person writing was just fine (except for the parts

where you slipped into first person). This story could have gone either

way (third or first) and don't think one would have been better than the

other. I think you will feel more comfortable with third person when

you write a something where the plot makes first person impossible (such

as when there's scene swhere Main Character isn't involved and couldn't

have any way of knowing what is going on). Your writing is good, you

just need to be more confident!Author's Response:

Date: 11/08/2010 11:45 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: Tortured Something Senseless Reviewer: Forty-Two

 

"Huh. I gave him a nod like I cared. He stepped closer, his arm

bumping mine as more guests streamed out of the restaurant." Whoa, this

gave my eyeballs whiplash. Guess you are too used to writing in first

person, huh?

"WE jumped in and drove up a couple of blocks."

I get that the true story is about Benny and James, not Benny and

Heath, but it would be nice to know what happened after Benny waited in

the car all that time, even if it's just a one sentence throw away about

it being unremarkable.

I like it so far. The best word I can think of to describe it is

fresh. It is light and an easy read (structurally and grammatically, not

juvinile) with a nice constant pace. It's lacking a little in deep,

emotional, gut tingling, dramatic moments, but not every story has to

have that in spades. I'm interested to find out what my emotional

reaction will be to the ending.

Good job so far!

 

Author's Response: I swear I'm blind

to these things, lol. I'll have to change it. Okay, good point for

adding in more about Heath after the car bit. I think I'll write a short

story (also with a very simple plot) with him later this year, so

having a little more on him in here really doesn't hurt. Thanks again

for the encouragement.

Date: 11/08/2010 11:22 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: The Unrequited Shit Stings Reviewer: Forty-Two

 

"acid reflex" - I think you mean acid reflux. And I feel very sad for anyone who gets heartburn just from a chocolate bar!

Love the redonculous street names.

What is sugared popcorn? Is it just sweet instead of salty?

I like how the heart problem thing was just casually slipped in

without a whole lot of detail. It's a short story - all you need to know

is that the issue is there, not the whole backstory, or else the

"action" or pace would have been slowed/interrupted too much.

The immediate switch when Heath asks them out for dinner was really

well done. It captures the whole "I will do anything you ask" kind of

mentality of hard core crushes.

Hmm, don't have much to say on style for this part other than the

flow is pretty good. Nice short sentences and a good pace that keeps

moving forward. The third person is working well to keep the characters

thoughts mostly hidden. It's refreshing to read something that is not a

teenage coming out type drama. Didn't realize it's been so long since I

read anything but.

 

Author's Response: Thanks Forty-Two.

Sugared popcorn is pretty much all you get where I am at the moment

(Germany) personally, I like it salted, hehe. Anyway, I just felt like

adding it in. As for drama--nah, this story is pretty light hearted,

really. Actually, I didn't focus on trying to make it original or

anything, I just needed practice with the third person. I decided this

project I'm currently working on should be in third, so it was good to

get my head a bit more around it. Thanks sooo much for reading and the

very helpful comments.

Date: 11/08/2010 11:00 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: A Hopeless Case Reviewer: Wyndham

 

Thank you for completing this part of the story, and yes, it would be great to see what happens with Heath.

I can't make my mind up about the 1st person/3rd person thing. This

worked for me. May be you just have a writing style that works whatever

you do.....

In case you are wondering: Love it The way my life is at the moment I need happy endings, so thank you.

 

Author's

Response: I love a happy end. I confess I find it difficult to read in

other genres outside romance, because I need the happy ending too. I'm

sure plenty of stories do have happy endings, but I'm always too nervous

to find out. Wishing you all the best Wyndham. Thanks for the

review.

Date: 11/04/2010 06:04 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: The Unrequited Shit Stings Reviewer: Wyndham

 

Been there. Done that. It stings!Author's Response: Me too.

 

 

Date: 11/04/2010 05:40 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: A Hopeless Case Reviewer: PArchment of love

 

I think hearing about Heath would be wonderful. I loved this

story in third person just because of the relationship between Benny and

James. I think either would be fine for Heath's story. All depends on

how you feel comfortable writing it. Great work.Author's

Response: Thanks so much PArchment. Little bits of Heath's story keep

popping into mind, so I probably will write it later this year. hehe,

looking forward to it. I think I'll continue practicing with the third

person for a while, yay. Cheers so much for the review.

Date: 11/03/2010 03:39 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: The Unrequited Shit Stings Reviewer: Nephylim

 

With regard to your response to frostina.... just don't kill

Benny off or I will hunt you down HAHA... pot/kettle... kettle/pot.

Never said I wasn't a hypocrite. See what you've done now with your

fabulous writing. You've made me care for your characters

 

Author's

Response: I would respond properly here, but I wouldn't want to give

things away... I'll put it in a spoiler on the GetIt thread--it is JUST

an idea at this point. Feel free to give me your opinion. I do value it.

Date: 11/03/2010 01:05 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: A Hopeless Case Reviewer: Nephylim

 

I like both styles. They each have their merits. First person is

very personal and intense. You get to express the feelings of the

characters and what they are thinking. However it is quite limiting in

some ways because third lets you look wider an play all characters at

once. I think it depends on the kind of story. First for intense

personal stories and third for broader more adventure based ones.

I would definitely like to hear more about this lot. To follow Heath would be intersting and get a whole new perspective.

 

Author's

Response: I think you're right bringing up the fact that third person

allows a broader look on things. I think I will use it for my next

project because it'd be too emotional in first person--and the plot is

very much important and I can't have it too much overshadowed. Thanks

for your input. I appreciate it, as always. *** Heath, yeah, I have a

few ideas for him. It's a maybe. Thanks again, you're awesome.

Date: 11/03/2010 09:09 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Tortured Something Senseless Reviewer: Nephylim

 

It was fine although there were a few slips back into first

person. Loving the story and I still adore James. I am more sure than

ever that his unrequited love is Benny

 

Author's

Response: Oh boy, it's so easy to slip. In dialogue of course it's all

'I this' and 'I that', and in direct internal thoughts it's also 'I

lalalala' Then comes that middle bit. He, darn it! HE! Think it's going

to take me time before I get the hang of it. Thanks for the review!

Date: 11/03/2010 09:01 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: The Unrequited Shit Stings Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Loved it. Unrequited love IS a bitch and I get a feeling that

James knows that all too well. I love the characters so far and I have a

real soft spot for James. Just love him

Author's Response: Me loves James too. Thanks Nephy.

Date: 11/03/2010 08:52 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: A Hopeless Case Reviewer: Frostina

 

The third person view is nice... lets us know what both of them are

feeling... the first person always makes us wonder with the narrator..

You did slip up once.... " James and I said at the same time. I dumped

the blankets on the couch and peered into the kitchen to grin at him"...The

story is good... i would love short stories like this... Not too fond

of Heath! but definitely wont say no to James and Benny!LoveFrostina

 

Author's

Response: Thanks for the review! I changed that slip up straight away

I'm so used to writing in the first, hehe. I guess the idea I have

with Heath is to start out with him perhaps not so likeable, but have

good reasons for him being the way he is. I'd hope to get people

sympathising with him in that short story. I also thought some time in

the future for a longer story continuing from James's perspective, set

when he's in his forties after a sad tradgedy. But that is only a vague

thought at this time. Thanks so much for reading!

Date: 11/03/2010 07:00 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: The Unrequited Shit Stings Reviewer: Nil Street

 

Ahhhhhhh... another good start on your part. I can't wait to read

the rest of it. I can't help it, when I read one of your chapters, it

seems that I get frustrated at having to wait for the following one.

Don't mind me, I'm just giddy. I just love your stories. ;D

 

Author's

Response: Oh, that's so cool. Hehe. Well, I don't plan to draw the

story out too long. There's a kink with the end of the story (it's

finished) that I want to work out, but need to scrummage together some

time to do that. Actually, I hope to post the second part today some

time. Thanks so much for your review and for reading my stories, yay!

Date: 11/02/2010 02:21 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: The Unrequited Shit Stings Reviewer: adamo

 

Wow. Great start! I love the characters. But aww... Ben is so oblivious to James!

 

Author's Response: Hehehe, just wait, the blindness has only just begun. Thanks for all your awesome support! Yay!

Date: 11/01/2010 02:56 PM