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Bernie Ecclestone


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93 year old Bernie Ecclestone, who has owned Formula One motor racing for the last 60 years, has gone on trial in Germany for paying a £27.5m bribe to a German banker to secure the sale of a stake in the F1 business to a company he favoured.

Naturally he continues to run the F1 business on a day-to-day basis despite the charges - because F1 motor racing only exists because Mr Ecclestone exists.

Mr Ecclestone is F1's figurehead and central schemer whose principal role is either accepting large amounts of cash from third parties or paying large amounts of cash to third parties, as well as attending nightclubs with young and attractive female models. Preferably blonde. So there is understandable concern - bordering on panic - that should he be found guilty and sent to prison then F1 will simply cease to exist.

Theoretical physicists have recently speculated that if the unthinkable happens then F1 will vanish in a puff of smoke. Alternatively - and there is some disagreement about this -  the whole of F1 could be sucked into a space / time void that would be created by his removal. F1 bosses are therefore in urgent talks to agree contingency plans which include creating a brand new - but still very old - Bernie Ecclestone using ground-breaking genetic engineering techniques, or organising a prison heist to enable Mr Ecclestone to escape and resume his position as F1 Head.

When spotted by paparazzi coming out of a London nightclub with a 19 year old blonde model last week, Mr Ecclestone, who is 110, refused to say whether she was his latest squeeze - or his great great great great great granddaughter.
 

 

 

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Zombie where did you get that he was 90 or 110.  He's a young 83 year old!  And it seems he got off the hook for his tax bill with only about 10 million pounds instead of 1.2 billion!

 

So all your angst about the future of F1 was for naught. 

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Zombie where did you get that he was 90 or 110.  He's a young 83 year old!  And it seems he got off the hook for his tax bill with only about 10 million pounds instead of 1.2 billion!

 

So all your angst about the future of F1 was for naught. 

 

you must forgive the British sense of humour, Daddy, I know many Americans have difficulty with it :funny:

 

the tax settlement you mention is old, the trial I'm referring to here is unrelated and is happening now :)

 

Mr Ecclestone is a very skilled player who can talk his way out of the proverbial paper bag so it's quite possible he'll wriggle off the hook again - after all he started off as a used-car salesman :P

 

One thing he does have a problem with, though, is revolving doors... :lol:

 

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