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Imagine Magazine Question For 6/20


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It can be a scary thing sometimes...trying to share one of the most private parts of yourself with the people closest to you. Especially when you're not exactly sure how they're going to react to the news. While sex is a perfectly normal and natural part of life, it can be difficult to speak openly about it without blushes, giggles, and a touch of discomfort. And for some...even 'shame'. Which is a shame in itself.

But when it comes to being LGBTQ+...sex is directly linked to anything that you can possibly say about it. And when you're young, that takes time, courage, and patience. However...there are many cases when you're not given the chance to come out on your own. Sad, but true. Whispers, rumors, gossip...it happens. And for this discussion I'd like to talk about experiences with gay youth who might have been 'outed' before their time. Have you ever had someone tell your secret without your consent? Or maybe you did it to someone else? Was it a mistake? Was it on purpose? Maybe you approached the wrong person in a romantic way and they ran around telling everybody what happened? Or maybe a parent, friend, or sibling, happened to 'catch you in the act', and hiding it was no longer an option? Did someone find your search history on your computer? Whatever your story is, or maybe the story of someone you know...feel free to share it with us.

And, is it EVER right to 'out' somebody to someone else? I know that sounds like an easy question to answer...but what if they're depressed (maybe even suicidal) and need help dealing with it? Maybe then? Who knows?

Anyway, give us your thoughts on this when you get a chance. I would love to hear from you! And, as always, anonymous replies are welcome here, or you can send them to me at Comicality@shackoutback.net if you like! Cool?

Let's get those brain boxes working! :)

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I'll start off by saying that I can't imagine really talking about sexual things with anyone in my family. Hehehe, just...no. But if I came out to all of them, I'd be worried that every time they saw me walking around or spending time with another guy, sex is exactly what they would be thinking about. Even if we're just friends. So, I'd think that be a nightmare in itself.

However, I have come out to my best friends and a few others, including one night when I went out to a club with this girl and her openly gay friend (Who I thought was gorgeous, and I had a bit of a crush!)...and as we were dancing and drinking and having a good time, she just came right out and asked me. I was hesitant to say yes...but he was standing right there so I didn't want to say no either. Then, it was just like, "Yeah." And the party continued from there. Hehehe! AND...I got a kiss from him that night! YAY! But, it never went any further than that. He liked bigger, older, hairy guys and I didn't fit his criteria. But it was exciting, nonetheless. :)

Should anyone be outed before they're ready? I think, absolutely not. Not for any reason. I'm always sympathetic to someone else's situation, but I'm well aware of the fact that I don't know it personally. So my judgement, even with the best of intentions, could get somebody into serious trouble. They could lose friends, family members, they can even end up being a victim of physical violence. I couldn't live with that. 

Now, if I thought it was an emergency, I might ask them to talk to me directly about it, or maybe encourage them to come out on their own. But it's never cool to out somebody without their knowledge or consent. If it were me, especially back when I was in Junior High or High School...I would have been devastated. Even if the consequences aren't that bad...leave that for the other person to decide. It's none of your business.

Thank goodness that I was able to ease my way out of the closet to those who were closest to me, and at my own pace. And thank goodness that the people I chose to share my 'secret' with were good enough friends to not spread it around fort he sake of having some juicy gossip to share. That, in my opinion, is how it should be.

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