[LittleBuddhaTW] Ben or Ryan?

[AFriendlyFace]

So what do you guys think? And why?

 

I think Connor's going to stay with Ben. I don't think there's enough time left for a full resolution of all the stuff between Connor and Ryan, at least not to the point that they could get back together. So my 2nd guess would be that Connor realizes he has unresolved issues with Ryan, and thus breaks up with Ben, but doesn't go straight into a relationship with Ryan again. My main guess is that he'll end up with Ben though.

 

Take care everyone and have an awesome day!

Kevin

[C James]

Great question, Kevin! I hadn't thought about the "neither" option, though personally I hope that's not it.

My question in reply is ... how necessary would having a full resolution of "their stuff" be to Ryan's and Connor's getting back together? (Or for that matter, to anything in life.) Actually ... if there were a "full resolution", what would that consist of? What would it look like to you? Are relationships what happen after the stuff gets resolved? Or are they actually a means to resolve our stuff? Or both? Or maybe it just doesn't matter, and the reasons for being in a particular relationship may be based on something else entirely?

 

I'm not saying this to be contrary, but to get us thinking about the things this story is exploring ... about ambiguity and uncertainty and acceptance and forgiveness; how we live and create and make our choices.

 

Kitty, you raise some good points! In life, things are very rarely fully resolved/explained. In this case, we still haven't heard Ryan's explanations to Connor, though we do have the fact that it was Ryan who helped Connor during the panic attack. I really don't see how LB can get this wrapped up in one chapter, and I'm wondering if he will end SOOTB on some sort of cliffhanger... Can't wait to find out!

 

As for the "big question", I could see it going easily either way. Connor might have his relationship with Ryan become like his one with Toby, or, they could get back together. I'm thinking that SOOTB is centered on Connor's relationship with Ryan, though, so I'm guessing that the end of that relationship, and it's transition to something else, will be the end of the story.

[Camy]

Ryan. It has to be Ryan unless Connor is mad. Ben's ok, a nice bloke, but Ryan is ... Ryan. If you get my drift.

 

Tell me you do.

 

Camy

ps Ryan!

[VTicarus]

I can't say who he will be with, but I can hope it is Ryan.

 

I don't think there's enough time left for a full resolution of all the stuff between Connor and Ryan

 

Well, all it will take is one, maybe 2 sentences. They don't have to rebuild their love - they just have to acknowledge it.

 

I just hope one of them finds their balls long enough to speak up!

Edited August 8, 2006 by VTicarus

[Kurt]

I really really like Ben. I hope that it is Ben. I am not a big fan of Ryan (I dislike him... a lot). Ryan is just not my type of person. Ben is so sweat, cute, innocent and kind and caring. Ben is a wonderful person, and I hope that Conner ends up staying with Ben. IMO, Ben is the perfect boy for Conner.

 

Kurt

[C James]

Who is to say it's an either/or situation? Maybe it will be Connor, Ryan, AND Ben?

[C James]

Who is to say it's an either/or situation? Maybe it will be Connor, Ryan, AND Ben?

 

 

All right, who told?

Kitty

Just kidding! Geez.

 

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hmmm... On a more serious thought, how do we know that there WILL be any answer to the Ben/Ryan question before SOOTB wraps up? What if that's not resolved in the last chapter?

[Jack Frost]

Ben because I am biased that way.

[Boxerdude]

Great question, Kevin.

 

My question in reply is ... how necessary would having a full resolution of "their stuff" be to Ryan's and Connor's getting back together? (Or for that matter, to anything in life.) Actually ... if there were a "full resolution", what would that consist of? What would it look like to you? Are relationships what happen after the stuff gets resolved? Or are they actually a means to resolve our stuff? Or both? Or maybe it just doesn't matter, and the reasons for being in a particular relationship may be based on something else entirely?

 

I'm not saying this to be contrary, but to get us thinking about the things this story is exploring ... about ambiguity and uncertainty and acceptance and forgiveness; how we live and create and make our choices.

 

Not that we're going to ... er ... resolve any of these questions in this thread . But IMO they comprise one of the big themes of this story, so we may as well get in there and play with them a little, while the outcome is still ... er... uncertain, and therefore the potential for learning something from it is still high.

Kitty

 

My thoughts in answer to this question is that there is never complete resolution at least I don't feel that it is a requirement to being with some one. Having been in a long term relationship, I know that the first few years you have a lot of "compromising" you have to do. That does not mean complete resolution. You may not be completely happy with the compromise, but it is a way to stay together and then work on issues together. I can say that I do not have complete resolution in my own relationship, it is a life time work in progress. I like the fact that some did mention that Connor is not "In Love" with Ben. But, when you are "In Love" with someone like Ryan and Connor and remember they were basically each others "first" in Las Vegas, those feeling just don't go away! You can ignore them or hide them and even bury them, but they don't go away that quickly. I my life's exerience, "rebound guy" has almost always lost in the end. Not to say they go back, but they move on. Connor and Ryan are to close and I think for the family to be a whole again, Ryan and Connor will need to proceed to compromise and move forward because they do love each other. I still believe that "True Love" conquers all.

 

David

[Marco]

Based on my own personal life, I don't think a long ending chapter is needed. When me and my first true love ( Ian ) broke up, I dated a friend of ours. Very awkward for about 6 months. Many glances back and forth between us. Ian always trying to look brave and smile. I was sure I was happy with who I was with. One morning I was walking on the beach alone and I ran into Ian who was sitting alone on shore. We looked at each other and almost at the same time blurted out the same 4 words " I STILL LOVE YOU ". End of story. We were together for 10 years after that. Cancer was the only thing to ever part us again.

 

Just trying to say that the old adage is still true. Love conquers all. If this is the direction LB is taking us, I mean, reuniting Connor and Ryan. It won't take to much space to make it so. Also, Ryans explanation about his behavior could be very simple. Not everything in life is complicated. In the last chapter, Ryan told Connor he "hurt" inside and that he missed him. That in itself makes it very clear where his heart is. The conflict in Connors head is all that really needs to be addressed. You can get over hurt if you love some one. I know, I have been there. I wasn't cruel or callous to my new boyfriend. He knew the score, and the history that Ian and I shared. The same as when Ben offered Connor an out by saying that maybe he should try working things out with Ryan.

 

I have read and re-read, what for me are 3 key parts of the last chapter: Connors panic attack at the pool, his conversation with Ben at the mall, and Friday night when Connor stayed home with Ryan. I read aloud each part the way LB wrote them (whispers, whimpers and all). Very powerful, although hard to read thru my tears. My conclusion.... TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL... end of story.

Edited August 10, 2006 by Marco

[Xiao_Chun]

Well, all it will take is one, maybe 2 sentences. They don't have to rebuild their love - they just have to acknowledge it.

 

I just hope one of them finds their balls long enough to speak up!

I agree with VTcarus that it doesn

[ex52tech]

Ryan, because he was the first person that Connor ever gave his heart to. Connor was a scared, withdrawn, social cripple, Ryan drew Connor in like a moth to a flame by his acceptance of him.

 

Ryan showed Connor that he was someone that deserved to be loved and cared for, even though Ryan did some things that didn't make any sense to anybody, he propped Connor up when he needed it, and gave him a push when he didn't have the nerve to show people how talented he was.

 

There were too many "firsts" in their relationship for them to just walk away, espically after Ryan explains to Connor what was going on with him.

 

There thats all I got.

 

Ex.

[Boxerdude]

Ryan, because he was the first person that Connor ever gave his heart to. Connor was a scared, withdrawn, social cripple, Ryan drew Connor in like a moth to a flame by his acceptance of him.

 

Ryan showed Connor that he was someone that deserved to be loved and cared for, even though Ryan did some things that didn't make any sense to anybody, he propped Connor up when he needed it, and gave him a push when he didn't have the nerve to show people how talented he was.

 

There were too many "firsts" in their relationship for them to just walk away, espically after Ryan explains to Connor what was going on with him.

 

There thats all I got.

 

Ex.

 

I agree 100%, you put into words what I have been thinking the whole time. I don't even know what to add. You really summed it up. Way to go!. Thanks for putting it into words.

 

David

[Lacon]

I definitely want to see Connor and Ryan end up together. As I said in the other thread for Ch25, I think that Ryan is a truly good person, who has built a wall around himself to shield the pain. He was powerless to save his father, and the hid when he saw the same thing almost happen to Toby - twice!! He rescued Connor from his Mother, but then couldn't protect him from the rape. He hit from Mikey when he was needed most, and probably feels responsible for Mikey's death. For whatever reason he pulled away from Connor. Yet when Connor was a naked panicked wreck, who rushed in to save him? The "real" Ryan. (BTW David. that scene was beautifully written. You are a true artist with words). I have thoroughly enjoyed watching Connor grow as a person throughout this story.. I hope that the story brings Ryan and Connor back together again, and starts Ryan on his emotional journey to happiness...with his true love Connor at his side.

[VTicarus]

Yet when Connor was a naked panicked wreck, who rushed in to save him? The "real" Ryan.

 

Who, also knew him well enough to understand what was about to happen before it really kicked in! (The way I read it.) Ben had no idea - even that Connor had panic attacks. Yeah, real close relationship!

 

If Connor ends up with ANYONE other than Ryan I'm gonna hold my breath until I Turn Blue So don't do it, LB!

Edited August 12, 2006 by VTicarus

[C James]

If Connor ends up with ANYONE other than Ryan I'm gonna hold my breath until I Turn Blue

 

AH-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So THAT'S the meaning behind the title of the story!!!!

[VTicarus]

AH-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So THAT'S the meaning behind the title of the story!!!!

 

Ummmmm - had to double check - I though you were Nick for a minute.

 

Maayyyybbbbbeeee you should reread a few chapters before the big closing.

[C James]

Ummmmm - had to double check - I though you were Nick for a minute.

 

Maayyyybbbbbeeee you should reread a few chapters before the big closing.

 

ROFL! Well, the similey that should have been in my post didn't show up, so i edited it to fix it.

 

As for Nick, yes, he's a very bad influence on me. (just kidding, Nick!)

 

BTW I intend to re-read ALL of SOOTB on the day the last chapter is posted.

 

I'm beginning to think you are right, it will be Ryan and Connor.

[AFriendlyFace]

My question in reply is ... how necessary would having a full resolution of "their stuff" be to Ryan's and Connor's getting back together? (Or for that matter, to anything in life.) Actually ... if there were a "full resolution", what would that consist of? What would it look like to you? Are relationships what happen after the stuff gets resolved? Or are they actually a means to resolve our stuff? Or both? Or maybe it just doesn't matter, and the reasons for being in a particular relationship may be based on something else entirely?

well I definitely think it's true that not everything would have to come to a full resolution. I guess that would consist of Ryan explaining his behaviour, Connor coming clean about seeking solace in the arms of Ben that night, and basically them saying and doing things that would lead to a natural restoration of trust.

 

I suppose relationships are a work in progress. Certainly you don't need to have all your issues worked out to be in one, but idealy I think you ought to be in a place where you can feel good about and accept yourself and offer that same kind of support to the other person. Are Ryan and Connor in that place? Certainly Ryan seemed to be. Now? I'm not so sure. As for Connor, well he certainly didn't seem to be, and yet now? Maybe. Also as you pointed out he seemed to have gotten their at least in part because of his relationship with Ryan. So for himt he relationship was a means of working on his issues.

 

So I guess my "final answer" is that each relationship naturally has a different dynamic, different purpose, and different direction depending on the people involved. Could Ryan and Connor be in a "healthy" relationship (for they themselves)? I think so, but I do think that while there's much they could work on within the relationship, some of the things that stand in their way would have to be resolved first. Is there time for that resolution? Personally I don't think so. Do I hope I wrong? Yes

 

Anyway just my thoughts, have a great day everyone!

Kevin

[PatrickOBrien]

I just hope he doesnt give it a Stephen King ending....that'd be all we need...everyone gets totally emotionally involved in the story...then Connor mysteriously falls for Tatyana. O_o lol PLEASE don't give us a giant spider ending like the ending of IT!

 

 

hehehe my vote goes for Ryan!

Edited August 14, 2006 by wrathofmagneto

[VTicarus]

LB - Respect my authoritah!

 

 

Connor and Ryan, riiiiight?!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*please?*

[Xiao_Chun]

LB - Respect my authoritah!

 

 

Connor and Ryan, riiiiight?!!!

*please?*

 

I hate to be the party pooper, and I really want Connor and Ryan to end up together, but recently I read some stuff about ADD and it could be more serious than I initially thought. Here are some facts that I posted on another thread (SOOTB25). There are 6 types of ADD that require different medication. Using the wrong medication can worsen the symptoms. Things are complicated sometimes when a patient has a mix of ADD types. Up to 25% of people with ADD suffer from depression. One of the types of ADD is called

[Conner]

I would be most uncomfortable with an outcome to this story which is attributable to Ryan's ADD. That would truly suck and be a great disservice to those people with this affliction or any mental illness.

 

Hugs,

Conner