Seraph - by Camy

[Camy]

Darn! It is getting darker indeed... With me liking happy endings, I hope I won't be disappointed... But well, as long as the story keeps being told the way it is, I'll abide.

That is kinda dark!

One heck of a good read, as always, Camy!!!! Can't wait to see where you go with this!

Wow! Thank you so much.

 

I Can't say if it will or won't be a happy ending ... well, ok I can:

It'll be happy for some, and exceedingly unhappy for others

 

Camy

[Bondwriter]

And another cliff-hanger yet! It seems the veil is getting uncovered and the interactions and roles are definitely made clearer. But the bulk of the conspiracy remains to be foiled. Still lots of puns and great dialogues which make it enjoyable to follow these rich kids' adventures. This is quite a crowded bunker! Am I mistaken, or had we lost track of lots of the people who were at Gabriel's house? It's a bit surprising Gabe wasn't more anxious to know what had happened to them.

[C James]

Great chapter, and another eeevil cliffie!!!

 

I was very interested by Martin's use of "seraph" as part of his voice sequence.

[Bondwriter]

I was very interested by Martin's use of "seraph" as part of his voice sequence.

Thanks Kitty. I was pretty puzzled by this mysterious shift comma three. I have an azerty keyboard, so it would be?3. Wouldn't make any sense, would it? Of course you don't have the little shape. From context, I thought it was something of the kind.

[Bondwriter]

Are there only three people reading the adventures of Gabriel and his friends? Mystery... Adventures... Action... Thrills... Fireworks... Laughs... Tears... Passion... What else is needed for a great read?

[Camy]

Are there only three people reading the adventures of Gabriel and his friends? Mystery... Adventures... Action... Thrills... Fireworks... Laughs... Tears... Passion... What else is needed for a great read?

Thanks Bondwriter

I think the bottom line is that 'Seraph' is complicated, and it's easy to lose track of the plot.

Once it's finished - no problem - but as an on-going serial it's ... a pain.

 

Camy

the honest - and pragmatic too!

[C James]

I think the bottom line is that 'Seraph' is complicated, and it's easy to lose track of the plot.

Once it's finished - no problem - but as an on-going serial it's ... a pain.

 

I think so too. But, just bear in mind that most of your readership will see it complete.

I think its great, Camy!

[Camy]

Chapter 8 is up:

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=161

 

Have at it,

 

Camy

[Ieshwar]

Hi,

 

Seraph is really a wonderful story. What can I say? It's just one of those few stories that keep you hanging on each word. I really enjoy this story.

 

Right now something seems fishy with Brian. Hmm!

 

Keep it up, Camy.

 

Ieshwar

[Camy]

So ... you want to know who Valerian is ... hmmm

 

 

Camy

[Bondwriter]

Oh! I forgot to comment when I read the latest chapter. Well, time to make up for it. This chapter uncovers more of the past, while making the mystery thicker. The whole Brian/ John situation gets Gabe to realize a few things about life. And still dialogues rife with good humour. I tend to see your point. Man, I wish I had these novels in paper forms, which is still the interface of choice for me to read long fiction.

[Camy]

Thanks, Bondwriter.

Chapter nine isn't far away, then there are only a few to go until ... well, until the end.

 

Killing off characters is very hard. I never thought I'd have an real emotional attachment to fictional characters, especially ones I've created ... but the muse wants sacrifice, and I want the story to work. So, without finding some ludicrous way for all my 'friends' to survive, some are going to perish.

 

Ah well,

 

Camy

[Bondwriter]

Argh! No! *thinks over for a few seconds* Do what you have to do and go where the story tells you. I just couldn't do it. Even in my adventure stories, I start having trouble putting my hero through hardships. If I ever did something in your genre, the 'Boys' would always triumph and overcome the dark forces of evil and international terrorism.

 

Looking forward to reading chapter 9...

[Camy]

Chapter 9 - 'Consequences' is up

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=161

 

Enjoy,

 

Camy

[Bondwriter]

Valerian being Caitlin seems more likely. Of course, Camy could just be misleading us, but who else? A very technology-oriented chapter, but the seeds have been sown to eventually unravel the whole mystery. And getting us to expect chapter 10 impatiently.

[Camy]

Valerian being Caitlin seems more likely. Of course, Camy could just be misleading us, but who else?

Who else? But ... but ... isn't is obvious?

[Bondwriter]

Camy is putting himself in a dangerous position. Re-using Razor's phrase, he could have "a Misery pulled on him" if he makes his ending too bleak. I would get him to rewrite from just before the flat blowing up with the boys going on Alex Ryder-style missions, foiling the conspiracy and a last chapter with a big party with everybody making out.

 

But these are my muses, and who knows what goes through a Brit's mind...

[Camy]

Camy is putting himself in a dangerous position. Re-using Razor's phrase, he could have "a Misery pulled on him" if he makes his ending too bleak.

Bleak? Hmm.

 

What will be, will be!

 

Camy

[Bondwriter]

Sorry, I didn't mean bleak, I meant gloomy. Excuse ze mistakes from ze foreigner, kind seer.

[Camy]

Chapter 10 'Traitors' is up

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=161

 

Sorry for the long delay. It ... erm ... won't happen again.

[Bondwriter]

Wow! Talk about a high budget for this story, with vans, Range Rovers, helicopters and missiles. And a cliff-hanger promising to yield some horrible news in the next episode. Now I have to reread the last three instalments for a few details are a bit far away in my memory. A darker chapter, guys, so sensitive souls be warned!

[C James]

Wow! Talk about a high budget for this story, with vans, Range Rovers, helicopters and missiles. And a cliff-hanger promising to yield some horrible news in the next episode. Now I have to reread the last three instalments for a few details are a bit far away in my memory. A darker chapter, guys, so sensitive souls be warned!

 

That kidnap plot was interesting! I wonder, though, how mad he''ll be at Martin.

I agree with bondwriter, definitely a darker chapter, but a good one.

 

That, though, is one wicked cliffhanger!

[Ieshwar]

Hello,

 

I agree that was a really good chapter. And the cliff of course! Wonder if one day, there'll be a chpater without a cliff. But I was wondering about one thing. I read the last scene a few times. In the van there were Gabe, Nick, Sellick, Alex, Rajit and Jamal. Eventually, the first three are separated. You said about Alex but what about Rajit and Jamal? Where are they?

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[Camy]

Hello,

 

I agree that was a really good chapter. And the cliff of course! Wonder if one day, there'll be a chpater without a cliff. But I was wondering about one thing. I read the last scene a few times. In the van there were Gabe, Nick, Sellick, Alex, Rajit and Jamal. Eventually, the first three are separated. You said about Alex but what about Rajit and Jamal? Where are they?

Chapter 11!

 

[Bondwriter]

When do we get an audio version of Seraph? (with 3D sound effects, a few actors/ actresses, music...) Just kidding, but you're an awesome reader and your voice... And yes, Seraph would be a great recorded novel.