Ashi

No, I am not playing Emma.... I did say it doesn't have to be you. I just thought..., ARGH!!! too complicated to explain in a short message like this. But watch Breakfast at Tiffany's if you haven't done so, but it might give people the wrong idea about you.... Because it's "ghey" for a guy to like Audrey. j/k Well..., kettle calling pot black. You did switch from top to bottom didn't you? Or at least that's my impression from your posts in the appropriately named thread.... He is high maintenance.... Quite a shocking thought that someone could have overwhelmed you. And Ryan..., do all of us a favor, plug him with your **** so we can have a peace of quietness.

Thanks for helping. I prefer iPodTouch's screen a lot better.... It hurts my eyes a lot less reading smaller things. My monitor is really for my photo editing, which needs to be in super fine pixel pitch and excellent color reproduction accuracy, which is not really that good or necessary for text reading, so yeah, the monitor is fine for my photo works, but my head really would spin for reading anything too long... (and it's vertical synch refresh rate isn't very good, whoever said LCD screen's refresh rate is fine at 60MHz should be shot..., because it's not). Well, I guess I have to reinstall my WordPerfect on this computer, since that's the wordprocessor I have that has build-in PDF converter....

But you're on first name basis with him.... That means you're friends at least.... I was only joking of course. I don't know him in person, so I cannot guarantee his character. If he turns out to be normal and not the perv he is online, I don't see why you shouldn't date him.... It's not like you have to marry him or something. It doesn't have to be him, of course, just hypothetically speaking. Both of you are still young, and I don't know if you know the line from Moon River..., which Audrey Hepburn sang in Breakfast at Tiffany's. "Two drifters, off to see the world, there is a lot of the world to see...," and you can continue the song from that on, and watch the film if you like, to get into the context I am trying to say.... One drifter is just terribly lonely you know. I am not even sure if two people get silly together can be called drifters anymore. Just sayin'....

I saw a PBS program earlier, and it pretty much in congruent with what you said there, andy021278. The doctor, after some assessments and counseling, would give medicine to delay the hormone, so the minor (with agreement from their parents) has time to think about the decision once they reach adulthood. Some of the kids were really young when they told their parents (some of them are rather supportive, fortunately) about their gender identity and possibility of undergoing gender reassignment surgery. One of the people in that documentary said she decided to be who she is, neither male nor female (she has a girlfriend during the time of interview, IIRC). She just accepts her non-traditional gender, but continues on using the medicine to stop the gender she was born as. She seems happy. The problem is never about them (they know who they are, or in some case, they know who they are "not"), but the society's unwillingness to accept.

Oh..., one more thing. The only approval you'll ever need is your self-approval. I feel vulnerable sometimes, but I am one of those very head-strong guy who will never admit a defeat... or I used to be. Guess what, I think I am stronger than I ever was after I admitted I am not always strong, and I have feeling just like everyone else. My hair maybe black, but I told people I am actually a red-head. LOL!

It's okay to wear makeup. Really, it's okay to wear makeup (if you feel like it). My previous twin brother wore eyeliners. I told him it looked fabulous on him, because he could pull it off. It's very subtle (as good makeup should be, not over the top), but I always notice that type of thing, and I know how important it is for him to feel fabulous inside and out. So yeah, if mascara would get you a date with Y_B..., go for it. j/k....

No wonder I've always dreamed of being a catcher when I played baseball (long times ago, can't play anymore).... I always ended up being a batter though (can't catch too well).

My PC monitor isn't built to read something super long. It's for photo editing, so the resolution is high which makes text super small (no I won't increase text size because it screws up format). There is a story I want to read and the chapter is just long enough that it's not going to work, so I have to resort on my iPodTouch (that's my main reading medium actually, stories on Kindle). But the thing you see, I tried to browse GA under Safari, it's really hard to find the specific story because I don't know how to move around.... Authors are arranged by names and only navigation is prev and next.... Can't do direct name search, or at least I don't know how.... Browse by story title is the same.... By the way, is there an easy way to send the story directly to email, so I can read it offline whenever I go? (sorry, don't have iPhone. My brother gave me the iPod). Sitting on a train or BART is usually where I do most reading anyways.... Or better, can I send it in format that can be read by Kindle app?

It's okay to cry. Really, it's okay to cry. I remember a panic swept over me like that when school was about to start every year. Then it gets better. I had to build up some confidence in myself. After I got into college, I totally scratched my past and started all over from ground zero.... It is not going to be easy of course. That feeling got back when I was out of job and then had to return to school to retrain myself, so yeah, even older folks would have such feeling. I am not going to lie about it. It's nice you're honest about your own feeling Nobody is going to see you cry if you cried privately, so why let it bother you? Please do cry when you can! Everything is going to be okay though.... Life may not be what you imagined, but it has its own way.

Yes, he is very cute. The way he is being so honest and doing this so people can understand it is very nice. Lots of trans committed suicide, that's why there is counseling before transgender surgery. It may be common knowledge to some, but the awareness should be known to more people, especially the ones not in the GLBT community. I remember I made a comment about transgender people in RL like, "If they aren't comfortable with their bodies, they won't be comfortable after the surgery." I know it sounds very harsh. And after I said it (sometimes I am rash minded like Y_B, believe or not) I thought what if some people who don't understand the issue very deeply (because it wasn't GLBT community I was in), they might misinterpret my words.... All I really meant was something like the video shows.... It's just pain.... Some of our fates are very twisted. I thought about changing my sex once, though very briefly. After my research, I decided it's not for me (that's why I know about all these issues about transgender and drag queen culture and stuff, if it isn't obvious to you guys already). For people who are not so lucky like me who could just know and admit their sexuality with very clean cut conviction, it's an ongoing pain. Did you talk to him, Arpeggio? BTW, forgive my ignorance, what's the binder he talked about? Sorry Bieber fans, but he is like 100x cuter than Bieber. (*hugs*)

Happy Birthday!

You're killing me.... You gotta respect us old farts who slipped easily on baby oil.....

That should be illegal.... My mom complained I laughed too loud....

OMG! Don't tell me Santa does not exist? NO! I don't want to hear it. I mean, of course she didn't do it. But merely put her name on it is enough. She did act the part, just not the actual jumping. But thank you for letting me know. Just in case I would miss it.

Oh, pooh.... There is nothing ashamed of being a dork. LOL! Think positively, maybe she will grow up a dork herself! EDIT: and there is nothing worse than a parent trying to be cool..., and fails..., in front of the whole school..., and still thinks he is cool..., and does it again... the next Christmas..., and the Christmas after that.... Just be yourself!

Yeah.... I think partly because guys were afraid of doing it for women because they'd be called chauvinistic.... But that trend has been reversed lately, so it's okay to help women now. Anyways, I am going to add more to the entry. I just remember some social grace stuff that I didn't add in the first place. Like don't put other people down, don't gloat too much at the expense of others, and don't manipulate others. With all those bully stories we've heard, I think I should have put these in also. Don't know how they escaped me the first round. I guess they're types of humbleness, but I have to spell them out nowadays.... People are not built the same way they used to be. The very fact I have to write this entry is a reflection of that. I am not sure if "any" Asian will sympathize with you.... Excessive social grace from Bang Bang? Social stratification, maybe? Being courteous is always welcome. Suffocating control because of societal rule is not. A rule with reason is a good rule. But Asians have a lot of rules based on ritual/tradition rather than reasons, so I do agree with you on that end some of them can be retired or modified for modern society. I am bring back social grace because it actually has a good reason to exist and people are antagonistic toward each other because of the discrepancy of it. Some people can be obscenely rude..., like texting in front of customers. I appreciate the good use of time, but that's something only a mechanical boss can appreciate.... Some of the rude customer service is actually enforced by the managers, but that's another topic....

LOL! You're such a dork. (*looks at his new title*)

Olympics Opening Ceremony has become a show case of the host country's cultural heritage to the world. This year, 2012, people of London have the honor to host the event. While I have limited access to the broadcasting of Olympics, I caught a few clips of the opening ceremony, and it is a job well done. Let's go to the U.S. for a bit to introduce a parallel story of a city I love greatly (don't worry, I'll bring the attention back to London later on). San Francisco is the fog city of the United States. As you driving on the scenic California State Highway 1 (CA-1) into the city, approaching its north end in the Marina District, the monumental Golden Gate Bridge emerges from behind the white misty veil. "Welcome to San Francisco," the bridge painted in international orange greets. As you stand on the bridge, look toward east, a domed building in the midst of fog to the right side of San Francisco downtown cityscape is the rotunda of The Palace of Fine Arts. The Palace of Fine Arts is one of the last reminders of 1915 Panama Pacific International Exposition; many considers it as the greatest international exposition ever held on the soil of the U.S.. The event was held just after much of the city was burned down to the ground as the aftermath of the 1906 earthquake. The event brought in much needed revenue for the devastated San Francisco to stand on its feet again. The event had a lot of significance than ones mere to exhibit one's wealth and power. San Francisco needed it, or the city would fade into the background and exist no more. More history of the 1915 event is here: http://www.sanfranci...amapacific.html I was right across it on Crissy Field watching the 75th Anniversary of Golden Gate Bridge firework. I have seen greater fireworks before, but it was extra special to me because the event was held in a place I love dearly (San Jose is further south, but San Francisco is close enough to be considered my extended home town). To celebrate an old friend's 3/4 century birthday with all people of different age, backgrounds and great diversity was already quite exciting (you have to be here). However, as I passed by The Palace of Fine Arts on the way home, knowing it oversaw the bridge's construction and completion, and the fall and the rise of the city, provoked much response to me. Itself has gone through many stages of life: from its heyday to other temporary gigs as tennis courts ground, to temporary fire station, or simply as an abandoned building with graffiti. It finally was rebuilt (in the 1960's and then later 2009 with permanent materials) does it finally stand with its solemn dignity as one of the most recognized landmarks in San Francisco today. Sometimes things take time. (I wonder if there will be an event for its centennial anniversary, since they are moving Exploratorium out, and hopefully it'll return to its original function as art gallery). Let us move back to the other side of the globe, to London. While I saw only a few clips of the opening ceremony (I could not get any NBC signal through antenna broadcasting...), but my impression of it is a pleasant one. The great mill/foundry segment is a reminder that the Great Britain was the world's leader back in the time of Industrial Revolution. I am not sure if I were the Queen, I would agree to do the parachute stunt. It exhibits a lot of humbleness for someone who is suppose to be the head of the state. It is very admirable of her to do it for the sake of her people. The mixture of rich history and pop icons that UK has to offer was well done (Hey Jude is an excellent picked by Sir Paul McCartney), at the same time they did not forget the humble beginning of the country by recognizing it with the British country segment. While having pride in one's country is wonderful, but it should be superseded by humility and consideration of its diplomatic consequence. In that sense, I think London did a wonderful job balancing the act while providing a necessary pump to its people across all spectrum of class and diversity. I can imagine how it may bring tears to the British people just like the Bridge and the Palace did to me. Just my not so humble opinion. Here is the explanation of the Opening Ceremony: http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/2012-london-olympics-opening-ceremony-explained/1/210704.html "Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it." -- Edmund Burke It takes a lot more than money and power to be a leader of society. How about start with humanity?

Comment: You can't win in this situation no matter what you do. Compliment her cooking. If everything fails, offers a condom and plenty of giggles.

It seems to me social grace has slowly become a lost art. A shame really, as I believe that is one of the most attractive features a person can acquire simply by practicing it. It can greatly improve one's aura of presence, as well as a general improvement of one's social function. What is social grace? thesaurus.com lists it as "good manner." The list of synonyms includes: good breeding, civility, decorum, consideration, courtesy, tact, etc.. Generally speaking, a woman or a man who can avoid a conflict through diplomacy is considered to exhibit an excellent form of social grace. The definition can be further expanded to include compassion and consideration toward others (especially ones under duress), or one can simply perform proper etiquette in the appropriate occasion. A beautiful person who can exhibit social grace is considered to be elegant, an aesthetic value that is different from gaudy. In the olden days, when nobility ruled the land, people of importance would observe proper manner to reassure their status in the society. As the world began to shift from hereditary rule to capitalistic democracy, the class-based values have slowly drifted out of favor. While I can understand why some people may consider such formality is an reminder of the class system, but mutual respect between different members of the society, whether one is rich or poor, sick or old, in my opinion, should be continued to be observed. So what are some ways to be a more graceful person? As a starter, one can exhibit one's social grace simply by not exhibiting behavior that would be considered disgraceful or scandalous. That is, if you did something that would bring shame to your family, it is probably the wrong thing to do. Second, shows some appreciation, whether the act is heroic or simple. The lack of gratitude and take things for granted is a modern trend, usually among younger members of the society. As the world becomes more well-off, at least in the materialistic way, more people believe money is the magic that creates everything they enjoy, without considering the people who had made things possible. A simple nod to a street sweeper is a way to show one's appreciation of the person who makes our street clean and beautiful. A manager who provides sufficient support to his/her team members so they can have the required resource to do their jobs without harassment is also a type of appreciation. Third, show some compassion. While some of us have trouble shelling out some money to the needy (though one should be wary of non-profit organization who promises to help on your behalf), but do be empathetic or others' hardship and try to strive for some solution to the problem. Another way to show social grace is simply show some humility. No matter how much we have accomplished, think about those who helped us along the way and attribute the credit to those who deserve it instead taking all the credit. When someone wronged us, considered the accusation as room for improvement, as there must be something we did that led to the misunderstanding. Some case scenarios of social graceful behaviors: Scenario A: YouTuber Commentator: Your video is so gay. YouTube Video Uploader: I am glad you enjoy my video. Though I would usually use ghey rather than gay, as the latter implies something pertaining to a homosexual man. Comment: A smiley at the end of the sentence usually works. And the rebuttal needs to be humorous to ease the tension. If done in real life, imagine doing a curtsy in your head as you smile, as it gives you the proper mental posture and a sense of confidence. The guy could be a homosexual. Some gay people believe or not, use gay to mean nifty and awesome. Being defensive is just going to make the situation worse and create an awkward atmosphere for other people who look at your video. Not only that, more people will begin to post "gay" remarks on your video. Scenario B: Random Homophobe: Get out of my neighborhood, you faggot. Faggot Boy: (*gives the perfect smile that could give homophobe a hard-on*) Comment: Avoiding confrontation like this. Do not say anything. Just be humble and leave. The man might be someone who was never loved as a child, so he couldn't understand the value of compassion. We can show him what love is by simply ignoring them, instead of a scold, which only makes things worse. If the homophobe appears to be violent, please run away and call 911. Sometimes homophobic people are rather insecure about their own sexuality. They might be gay or straight (or anything in between). Do not always assume every cute guy is gay (a common gay mistake), but a big smile like our faggoty boy just did is a good test. Though dating a closeted case is not a long-term solution. Scenario C: Hanky Panky: (*gropes and gives the most disgusting smile*) Nice Asset: (*moves away*) You are mistaken me for someone else. > Comment: You don't want to agitate a hanky panky. When they're humiliated, they might do something more aggressive, and you would end up a very sorry ass.... But do be stern and give a clear message that no means no. Scenario D: Chick-fil-a Goer: (*lines up on to buy chickens*) Comment: Nothing you need to do except you don't need to buy chicken from Chick-fil-a. Doing an over-the-top counter-protest with your c*ck in their chicken is not going to work. Shows your humility and compassionate side. They're the Christians and they ought to be the ones who know those values. Emphasize similarity rather than differences. They need to learn gay people are just like any normal people they know, an integral part of the society. Just because they judge us doesn't mean we need to judge them back. Nobody likes a judgmental person anyways. We can do other more educational work instead. Things of this nature takes time, or you can wait until they all die out as a specie. Violent, acute act may backfire. I have never seen a Chick-fil-a in California. Their own narrow-mindedness is limiting their own market, and probably already lowered the public perception of Christian church.

For young folks. I read something (I rarely remember where..., my brain sucks) about drag queen culture. Drag queen is an act, and they rarely try to mimic real woman. It's a completely separate subculture, and not all drags are gay. So if you judge them how well they look compared with a real woman, they don't do too well. And they probably would just tell you why would they want to be a real woman (or they'd do a sex change). They're entertainers, who sometimes are entertaining themselves in the process. It sort of made sense after that, because before I was just like you guys.... Culture-facilitated gender expectation is deeply rooted, even among GLBT people.

And older people thought my generation was oversexed.... (*sighs*)

Some of the dreams (my dreams at least) have bizarre codes, so I am not sure what kind of subliminal messages are in them.... I faintly recall reading a book saying water in dream means transition (train also means transition, so yeah, some of these symbolism can be used in stories). In psychology there are many theories. The one I find it more interesting is dream is a training tool (I wonder what you're training for when you dream of sex... ). Dreams only happen when you are in shallower stage of sleep.

Good for you. It's the reward for yourself, that you feel nice after something is completed, especially if it's a very significant and hard to achieve one. You earned it. I only finished one longish story in my life, and I felt more like exhilarated or relieved.... LOL. And I see your age bumped up. Happy Belated.

That's all I am asking for: an awareness not everything is fine and dandy as it seems. A physician realizing his/her responsibility to double check if his/her method is as accurate as possible (i.e., ethics) and know to be critical (rather than just merely believes the pharmaceutical company's sophistry) even if theory is sounding (lots of things are sounding in theory but later overthrown, because we found out more stuff that interfered with our original hypothesis. It happens. We're not as advanced as we try to make ourselves believe. It's okay, as long as we're doing our best effort at given technology). As long as you're being responsible, that's fine. I've seen some professionals (not just physicians, though physicians should have much higher standard of ethics because they're dealing with lives) they only want to get paid, and speed up things without double-check (or maybe because they thought it's very routine, they overlooked). Some of them are really not qualified for their jobs. A degree sets a minimum standard, but does not guarantee competency (some of them are not very critical thinkers, but are good test takers).