Ashi

Happy Swiss ND! I like peaceful countries.

Didn't know about him too much except heard his name before. Nice to read Wiki entry! Things about what he said about WWII is interesting (though I've heard before), and Buckley vs Vidal is almost comical.

You look great in it. Positively beautiful.

I certainly hope you know what you're saying. You do realize there is a problem, but you decided not to looking into the cause of it.... Interesting. All psychiatric treatment requires consultation of DSM-IV-TR, and it's kind of like a bible, in which way it is somewhat open to interpretation and misdiagnosis does happen. This is not the same as saying I am totally against the use of anti-depressant. I only mean it should used with precaution, and anti-depressant should be given (not abused) IF the patient does require it. It's not a shortcut to nirvana, it's not a panacea to everything. I know someone personally as well as hearing many others that they've been given anti-depressant by primary physicians.... I wonder if the physician actually consulted DSM-IV-TR when they prescribed the drug. With my "untrained eyes" the person does not suffer sleeping disorder, no persistence of suicidal attempt, has no concept of what depression is, but still is prescribed with drug, because he felt terrible for himself.... I know it's nice to be idealistic, but a lot of real world practices should be discussed. This is a very tangible problem, it happens in real world. Once my time is freed up, I'll go to library and makes some research on some anti-depressants. Some drugs are so new, they may not have lab reports though. Any active ingredients you're thinking of that you want me to do a research on?

That sounds like a haiku....

I think that's why some of us are gay. The nature has its design and we're here to keep the population down. We're actually threats to animals and plants in this world.... Maybe that's why I love animals and plants more than I love people.... There was this one guy who was in a photography class with me and he said he didn't like take photo of people because people are ugly, and I thought that was love at the first sight.... And I found out he also shot photos of tree trunks like I do.... Only if I were younger.... Anyways, don't underestimate what politicians want to do.... You have to be really dumb to be a politician. If you know what's going on in the world and how some people think war is a solution to economic problem (because they aren't very original), than I think you'll understand my view point. Someone has to save Euros, or antagonism between German and Greece will be just as bad as France and German back in the previous WW's. N. Korea problem must be solved, or there will be war in Asia, and another country will wait for that chance to reap the gain (I shall not name which country).

I think it's so cool to have meet ups....

To me love lasts longer, and something strong enough, I would sacrifice myself without thinking too much. Infatuation is temporary, but very acute attraction. It's easy to get over with infatuation. Love makes me think about the person a lot..., and could make me laugh silly or sometimes cry just think about the person. If I ever think about a past infatuation, it's probably something like "what was I thinking?" rather than "those were the days." Love can make me think about the possibility of organize a family together and endure hardship together than being apart (I don't know why some people can keep a long distance relationship, because I can't). I don't think I can make a compromise with someone I don't love. I might make concession and apologize even if I am right, if I really love that someone. I think that hits the nail in the head, for me anyways. I consider them as very different things, but infatuation definitely can lead to love, but it can just as easily be some really silly crush. I think most of my previous love experience is infatuation turned into love type of stuff. Which makes sense, because I need time to trust someone. And love definitely comes after I started to trust that someone. I feel at times you're really stupid (probably one of the stupidestest people I've ever associated with), but at times, I think you might just do as my BFF, which probably puts me on the same level as you. But I suppose I don't mind because I am an old boy now. Though I still need to learn to be more honest about my personal feeling, instead of let my self-esteem play a game on me (though I really wanted to click on "remove as friend" button on you more than once...). Even if you didn't post your second post, I knew you are one of those crazily in love easily and hard one moment, and get back to normal the next type of guy (you are so Gemini). You're that transparent (but I thank you for writing that post , because I need confirmation). At times I envy you. I wish I could be just like you when it comes to love. I think my fear for rejection is severely enough that I need to seek some professional consultation. I am not sure what you mean by "love in the commercialized way." Anyways, I don't really think love can be bought. I do think about "love." Not about a particular person, but the concept of it. I think my homosexuality makes me think about it a lot, and makes me treasure it a lot more than straight couples around me (I have a cousin in the process of divorce). Maybe that's why I could never say I love someone unless I can keep the promise. I voted no on Prop 8 in California. That was like the first time I ever voted. It was that important to me. So yeah, to me love is really "til death doth us apart" type of stuff, but not something one should talk about on the third date either (that's too freaky, and probably not love but infatuation). Anyways, I don't think what you said about the fling about that guy you fell for it in two days that atypical (for you ), and awkwardness is bound to happen, but you guys got sober, right? So I don't think it's that unhealthy. I used to work in place where most people around me were near a decade younger than me, so it's not like it's the first time I've heard young people describe everything about their love lives in such detail anyways.... I guess they don't realize my generation don't talk about everything in public (though 90's was very open, but not that open). So yeah, next time remember that when you want to talk about sex-related stuff (condom thing is near my limit..., but I guess I am pretty uptight ). You don't want me to suffer from a stroke, are you? I wonder if some people find this topic helpful in their story writing. I am not sure I will ever finish another story, but it's an important topic to think about when writing a romantic novel, to think about different definitions of love.

Sure, you can find clinical studies in libraries for medical journals. I did the study on addiction, and that's how I came across the subjects. I don't remember the source I got, but mostly online reports. I am afraid I lost the sources (but you can't get better than peered reviewed medical journals in a library). You probably have to narrow down the drug's active ingredients. The one I am thinking of is benzodiapzepine, which is responsible for more than 50% of OD cases when combined with stimulants. Yes, the more advanced drug will have less effect. You do have to realize a lab study cannot be established as legitimate study, and long term studies must be done before something is declared as positive result of the side effect. Which is something I find interesting, as why didn't they do a more thorough study before the drug is released. I don't remember what I wrote in the report, so I refrained from posting the statistic of suicide rate. I think it's something like 1% suicide rate and 5% for people who misdiagnosed as depressant, but took anti-depressant anyways. There are lots of things we also need to investigate before we can trust the study, such as what's the motive, who is funding for the study, and what's the study's methodology. My report is preliminary, but it is a cautionary in nature. All I am saying is, do not treat it as a panacea to quickly resolve any life problems. There is no shortcut in anything. As for why I believe many physicians are not qualified for prescribing mental drugs. Many primary physicians can prescribe drugs like anti-depressant in the U.S., when they do not have the training.... The way neuron works is very different from other part of physiology. I am afraid to say, even today, many organs inside human bodies are not very well known. Nobody knows how brain retains memory, for example. How liver units function is a puzzle still in theory stage. Only in the last decade we figured out how kidney works. Despite of all that, we have drugs for everything, don't we? Don't you find that scary? I personally believe only psychiatrists are allowed to prescribe drug of this nature, and should not prescribe such drug unless the patient has undergoing some sessions before they can be properly diagnosed as "depressed." In reality is, many primary physicians do prescribe such drug only based on patient's one or two self-report.... WTF!!! Not only that, based on what I've read, many people do have anti-depressant in their medical cabinets, and the kids just sell them as party drugs to people. It is a problem in our society, so it has to be addressed.

I wanted to write a blog about it, but instead, I think I'll just ask the question: What does love and infatuation mean to you? What's the difference? Have you ever been mistaken one for the other? I want to discuss about romantic love and infatuation, as they're the most confused about. That is, no platonic love, parental love, friendships, or sexual (eros) type of love, please. It'll keep things more focused and manageable because they're really abstract and hard to grasp conceptual words.

There are things I touched on but didn't explain (because I want to cut down the length of the blog, or people will not read, when people don't read, people won't discuss about their thought). One is the use of anti-depressant. Many doctors don't know what they're prescribing, so that's a very dangerous sign. As with many drugs in use today, people don't know how the drug works. Even scarier is, sometimes the doctors don't know either. They know it works by observation the before and after only.... It is slightly more scientific than lobotomy as treatment of depression really. Side effect is not mentioned, because doctors don't know that either.... But we do know anti-depressant works on sympathetic system, and that unfortunately also controls guilt and social behaviors in some way. If we are unhappy about something, we don't go out to kill people. It takes a lot more than that. But when your sympathetic system is shut down..., now anything could happen. Some committed suicide, some did homicide. Not everyone is like this of course. Though IMO, the risk should be mentioned. Especially when someone can be misdiagnosed as depression and given drug treatment for (people without depression but taken anti-depressant has a far greater chance to commit suicide than without). The reason for this blog is of course, discuss and understand the nature of modern society. It's been a while since school massacre like Columbine occurred, and so far, not a lot of honest discussions have been made other than putting blames or disassociation.... There is no shame in admitting mistakes. There is no shame in wanting to know the cause so the tragedy won't happen again. There is no shame in wanting to understand the generation gap between people (it's alarming that most parents don't know what's going on in school, which of course, because most parents have really long work hours, so they rarely see their children anyways...). All I am seeing in our society is, if something tragic like this happens, turn a blind eye and consume more anti-depressant or other mind-numbing measures. It's not a long-term solution. Please do no say we need to cut down the number of people.... I am smelling a WWIII coming. We have every condition to make it happen: high unemployment rate, transition of power and value system, rise of nationalism, lack of mental stability among people, high stressful mode of living, lack of understanding among people. Human beings will always find way to kill each other.... This blog merely tackles one of the issues mentioned. But it's always good to handle one thing at a time and hopefully WWIII would never happen. To Joann414. I think the guy should be trialed and be locked away. The blog is centered on our role as a society, not his. As an existentialist, I believe we're ultimately responsible for our own actions, so he should be responsible of his own. However, if for example, he was given anti-depressant and that links to a positive result why he was "temporarily insane" don't you think this is a very valuable study on how the society should modify the treatment so no future tragedy would occur? There are lots of moral ambiguity in this type of matter. Like should we blame bully or victim of bully if s/he struck back? (kind of like the age old argument that it's partly rape victim's fault that s/he is raped, does that make any sense to you?). If a slave killed his/her slave owner, is the problem merely a murder case or there is something else needs to be discussed? That's the essence of this blog. Modern technology certainly makes things more difficult. Knowledge is a double-edge sword. If you gave a smart person some knowledge, he would create something beautiful. If you gave a fool some knowledge, he would be out to wreck the world.

All of you must have heard of the recent Colorado Shooting thing. The guy randomly shot people to death at a Colorado Theater that was showing Dark Knight Rises, then made a joke that he was a joker when he was arrested. We've had massacres before, Columbine, Virginia Tech and many others, but this is the first time in many years that the perpetrator of such scale was caught alive. All previous executors of the massacre committed suicide at the end. I suppose lashing out at people wasn't as fulfilling as they had first imagined. (incidentally, both Columbine and Virginia Tech perpetrators were on anti-depressant) Now here is the purpose why I am writing this blog. The court case will no doubt be a real drama and give excitements to news agency, and no doubt he would be convicted of the murders he committed. However, what I am thinking right now is this will be a real test on our corrective system, I mean specifically, James Holmes and his prison life. His hair color of choice reminds me of a Stanley Kubrick movie called A Clockwork Orange. The main character of that movie was Alex, a socio-psychopath who had no regard for the rules of the society, and committed crimes for the heck of it. He was sent to prison and was used as a subject of an experimental correction treatment, which he was forced to watch a series of crimes, and I suppose the idea is to reactivate the guilt region in his brain (lack of guilt, both observed in Alex, as well as James Holmes, is a main component of antisocial personality disorder). I doubt James Holmes will be put in psychiatric wards (though I don't know if dyeing his hair to appear in court is a stunt for the plead for insanity). He would most likely to be put in prison. The public would outcry if otherwise. If that's the case, a story of a man who committed of such crime, and going through the corrective reformation, could be told. This will be the first chance of a serious study of this type (given he would not die in prison), both in term of psychology, sociology, and a real test of whether our corrective system is working or merely a place to put people away (like Alex's case..., I do not think prison had made him reform. He was still the same man he had been by the end of the movie). I certainly hope such study would bring awareness to the public on how we should think about our society in general. So far the society just keeps sweeping a persistent and re-occuring problem under the rug, and do not want to know the cause, and instead, blaming the issue to the person, rather than think the possibility that the modern society's infrastructure is partly to blame. Psychology became a serious study during the second Industrial Revolution (end of Nineteenth Century), mostly due to an explosion of mental problems because of the rapid changes in modes of living (from farm life to dirty industrial urban life, artisans became factory workers, child labor problem, high density urban housing, lack of spiritual life, etc.). Now we are in the age of Information Revolution, some consider it has even more impact on how we live than Industrial Revolution had done before, I believe the speed of information passing onto people has condensed the speed of human experience accumulation into a new level which some people may not able to manage well, especially to those are in a life stage whose previous experience and education are not quite as well equipped to counter the information overload (e.g., how would a child process the concept of child pornography when they stumble across it over the Internet). It is my believe a serious revolutionary retake on what is a proper living condition that not only incorporate the concern for physical wellness (modern sewage system and antibiotics are necessity due to worsening living condition due to Industrial Revolution), but also new concepts of mental wellness (there has to be more sophisticated preventive measures that will keep our minds free of mental illness).

LOL!

Cool.

Cool. Happy anniversary.

Hope all will turn out good.

And it's a good thing people are continuously learning about themselves and each other. It means they care. Anyways, I am concerned. So what happened next, Johnathan? What's her reaction? Did she threat to disown you? Do you feel alright?

It may just mean parents stop teach their children of good habits.... The TXTing in car part.... I see younger folks do that a lot, even in classroom. Parents probably didn't pay attention to their kids enough to tell them that's disrespectful to teachers, and teachers usually just give up.... It's clearly written in course syllabus that no cell phone is allowed in classroom, but kids just don't care. And a pet peeve I recently discovered.... People use the word "ironic" incorrectly. It drives me nuts!!! That word was often misused by many people back when I was in high school, and now it's just getting 100x worse.... It's like nobody knows what that word means anymore. If something that pisses them off, they say it's "ironic." Or use "irony" when they really mean "sarcasm." WTF!?! I blame it on Urbandictionary.... Example: Speaker A: I just HEART McDonald's, with all that grease and hormone beef, YUMMY! Speaker B: Are you kidding? (and then goes on to explain the health hazard and food safety, and general downturn of civilization due to McDonald's mega corporation culture) Speaker C: Don't get defensive. He was just being ironic. DRIVES ME NUTS!!! Another one.... It's from some other forum I go, some people would call everyone troll if the person disagreed with their opinion. There is absolutely no tolerance of differences in values/opinions, or they'd be labeled a troll.... I don't even think the people who abuse that word (and people) know what that word mean. Probably s/he has been called that (and rightly so) so s/he just called everyone that....

Cool. Thank you.

a

Telling your mom you're gay is as shocking to her as it is for you when you first realized it.... I don't know maybe it's not very shocking to you..., but it was shocking for me... Subconsciously, I knew I was different, but admitting that fact about myself is not straightforward. I don't know about you, but it took me many years to admit I am gay, and I think it'll take my mom at least that many years also, perhaps even longer, because she is not gay, so it's hard for someone who is not going through that experience to understand it! And I agree with MikeL.... She probably lives her entire life thinking she'll get a grandchild from you. I know my mom is that way.... She constantly reminds me of such.... So she doesn't want to accept you're gay because that fact you just presented to her totally flipped her life and dream upside-down.... Give her time. My mom is still in denial stage, so yeah, it's fine. If your mom wouldn't accept it, then go back to pretend that coming out moment never existed. From Edge of Seventeen there is this one dialog. Eric's Mom: I am worried about you. Eric: About what? Eric's Mom: People think you're gay. Eric: Is that what you want to know? After all, it's your mom who wanted to know about your sexuality in the first place isn't it? So when you told her what she wanted to know..., and then she denied it, don't you find it funny? Let her know that. Maybe that'll speed up the process, but I wouldn't count on it....

Happy B-day. Age is just a number. May you have many happy returns. Hip hip hurray!

I've had a dream of a guy I really really like, and we're never together. He turned out to be straight and married to a woman. So yeah, it doesn't mean anything. You have to stop it from bothering you..., or it'll really mess you up.

Thank everybody. I can cook more than Italian foods. I love making foods to those who appreciate them! That sounds nice! Recipe?

Right Soylent Green..... Soylent Green are people!