Someone in my family had alcohol problems at one point, it was difficult for people to get him to accept he needed help. When he got clean, the doctor told him he should never have any alcohol again, not even a small bit for a toast. Like you, he didn't have any cravings since then, but he has still stuck to zero alcohol for many years by now. But you didn't have a choice, you needed those pills for a while after that. What you're saying you felt when you took them sounds scary, but you managed it. That's difficult, no matter how many years it's been, and you did it.