Jump to content

Toast

Author
  • Posts

    3,732
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Toast

  1. Toast

    Consider Arbitrary

    Thank you Red A, I'm not offended, but Dylan Thomas might be. I am not really that well read, I am just crazy enough to try something I know nothing about.
  2. Toast

    Consider Arbitrary

    Thank you Kavrik, I don't know why I am so very self conscious about these poems. After all I wrote them and posted them. Thanks for a thoughtful comment.
  3. Thank you Kevin.
  4. Thank you Kevin for this review of my poem/s.
  5. Toast

    Chapter 1

    Wonderfully endearing and your turn of phrase was often clever, funny and really insightful. I enjoyed very much.
  6. Toast

    Chapter 10: Unheard

    Thanks for reading all of these again, they get lonely.
  7. Toast

    Chapter 5: Fool

    It is meant to stir emotion. Like a gesture or a touch can. Do you need to understand?
  8. Toast

    Chapter 4

    I like all the sport stuff and the game playing, pick up ball. Mentioning playing, I wonder is Greg a player in more than one way? So far he seems nice. I also wonder why two guys hate each other and yet are liked by everyone else. Foreshadowing, maybe. Also poor Jenny. I ran out of reps so I will have to catch you later for this chapter. Fun story. Except dad seems to be changing for the worse, why is that?
  9. Toast

    Chapter 3

    This is a good switch. The team quarterback is not the asshole. That honor belongs to CJ. Enjoying.
  10. Toast

    Chapter 2

    You know baseball and pink do kind of go together. So is Corey going to fall for the college boy?
  11. Toast

    Chapter 1: Not

    Thanks Kevin, it's funny I forget these poems.
  12. Toast

    Chapter 1

    I think I will read this. You think it will be completed by the time I get to the end?
  13. Toast

    Chapter 1

    I like your older characters and this promises to be interesting.
  14. Toast

    Chapter 4

    I enjoyed your story.
  15. Happy Birthday NightOwl!
  16. Toast

    Chapter 3

    Josh and Bill are both caught up in their struggle to come to terms and then get blind sided completely with passion and desire. Love it.
  17. Toast

    Chapter 2

    This has a fullness. The story is ripe with climax for both men. It is the moment in their lives that makes or breaks them. I like it very much. I think it is an universal thing and you have captured it.
  18. Toast

    The Master's Wishes

    James is so bad, I hope Jenny and Adam escape or turn the tables, and I think the plantation workers are going to burn the place down.
  19. Congratulations Dark! Happy for your success!
  20. Toast

    Chapter 1

    I like turnip greens and biscuits. And your first chapter here. Different and good and appealing.
  21. Toast

    Chapter 6

    Oh gosh, you want me to work at reading? Grammar check and all? Maybe. But if you are serious you should put this at the beginning of the story. The sex was done well, and I think it added to knowing John and Wylie. The father definitely knows what is going on here. This is a charmed time for John, no wonder he picked this memory to dwell on.
  22. Toast

    Chapter 5

    Well, I would feel very comfortable at the ranch, if I was so lucky to get there. John's father had Wylie investigated? That is different, maybe he is hiding more wealth than appearances speak of, that is something the extremely wealthy would/might do. But that is speculation, but I like little mysteries like this. Another mystery is John's mother. Another is just how well John's father understands his son? And John has taken the another big step here. Which adds another mystery, What went wrong.
  23. Toast

    Chapter 4

    I like all these small details of their "courtship". But because I know this is a flashback, I keep wondering why they did not end up with each other. Somewhere there is a Gordy and a wife, are there children somewhere? This story, is more complicated than this chapter implies. This is an escape for John maybe back to happier times and maybe to regrets? Still this is full of charm and "heartwarming joy" (love that phrasing). And I was captured by it and didn't have to be pretend drunk to want it to continue.
  24. Toast

    Chapter 3

    I thought Wylie sleeping against the door was great. He took action. John got lost in his own world of frustration, doubt and self preservation. It took all of Wylie's anger and speculation and hurt to get thru to John, the nucklehead. Good chapter. I am enjoying.
  25. Toast

    Chapter 1

    This is very direct and powerful. It ask for understanding and forgiveness, knowing full well, that the reader is begging for the same. It also gives a good reason to live, a friend for each. A very well built poem.
×
×
  • Create New...