Andrew Q Gordon

Imo, First, what time do you get up?? you posted this at 7:30 my time which is 4:30 yours Thanks for the comments, you always seem to see so much into things - I'm impressed. Tom and Betsy live in Dalla - I think I wrote that in the draft and it might have been cut in the final version but that was my idea from the get go, hence Tom not being around since Peter is in Central PA. Jason - having lived with his mom knows her and how she is. Sometimes it is best not to poke a sleeping bear. I think if Peter doesn't make it, things might not improve any time soon for them. Althouht he accepts part of the blame is his, I think he will resent her for her part in what happened. As for Dean, well, let's just say this weekend visit isn't over and as you say, he is still a teenager at his older brother's college and away from the parents. Thanks again for the review - and for reading. I hope to be able to get this wrapped up soon, but that might make me wish it wasn't. LOL Andy

Thanks for reading and commenting - not that I am trying make a shameless plug to read the forum topic, but I explain a bit of how and why I saw Mom make her turn around. There is perhaps more to mom's story but we may or may not see it, depends on what gets cut in the last dozen or so chapters. But I think it safe to say that Barb and Amanda will remain good friends, which should prevent any regression from Barbara. But what do I know

Dean is most certainly NOT my brother - if that were us, he would tell me to get a gun and go take care of things.

Thanks for the comment, that scene, which as I explain in the forum post - reminds me of my own life - sadly the spark for my mother's turn around was the death of my cousin who was like my brother to me. So writing that part actually made me cry - yeah I'm a pathetic dork crying at my own writing but that's how it is LOL.Andy

Thanks Simon, it will be a few more Chapters until we see what happens to Peter - not saying more, just that it won't be right away that we find out. Hope that isn't going to piss off too many people but there are a few things to deal with still.

Thank Matt, I appreciate the comments and the offer to help me with the ePub. Andy

Mike, Sadly sometimes that is what it takes, something awful to get folks to appreciate things. Sometimes they don't figure it out even then. I know I'm lucky that way. Thanks for the comment, you have always been too kind - though it does make me smile so I won't ask you to stop Andy

So I wasn't going to post this Monday since i posted Chapter 28 two days early, but taking Watch Pat Run's advice, I took the day off. Not that I got as much writing done as I wanted but I'm make SOME progress so I decided to put this chapter up. It's fairly short as my chapters go, and as promised - this chapter was written without harming any cliff's or leave people hangin - Geez people, it's not like I'm Cia or anything [Vote Cia queen of cliffhangers in 2010!!!!] Chapter 29: Brothers

Traffic delayed his father; not surprising for a Friday evening. They were going to be having a late dinner, something Jason regularly did during soccer season. He stopped at the Wawa and picked up some snacks he knew his mother would like in case she was hungry. If she didn't want them, he would take them for Dean to eat. When he arrived at Peter's room, his mom was sitting talking to Amanda, Tom and some woman he didn't know, but suspected was Betsy. "Jason." His mother stood up to greet

Don, Thanks for posting this. I'm reasonably sure I break at least one or two on a daily basis, but I will keep them in mind as I move forward. Andy

Much better Frosty - much better. You are far too pretty to frown like the first picture I hope mom is better soon. Andy

Maybe it is just me or maybe I'm getting lucky, but the quality of stories I seem to find is getting so much better. This is another example of great character development to start a story. I hate the - let's see boy, fall for boy, hop in bed with boy, profess undying love for boy and have him say it back, all before we know anything quirky about the characters. Conner's insecurities are going to be hard for him to over come, especially if, as suspected he falls from Mr. Football hunk, who comes off as supremely confident and self assured. Classic BMOC syndrome I suppose. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised to see a few insecurities on his part either Nice start. Now it is my turn to pester - POST MORE SOON!!! Or else. Andy

Frosty - I wanted to laugh at first, but then you would think it was at your new hairdo - but that face - OMG - someone was annoying you big time! Too cute. I do like the new hair style - it is totally how I see you now - cute and smart - though I may have to nominate you for the Minister of Silly Faces after that one

I was a bit worried folks were going to be mad that the grandparents weren't the ones to down grade Hurricane B into a light drizzle, but as I explained in the spoiler, 23 years ago it was a similar scene that 'fixed' my parents and I wanted to include that. I think most of the cliffs are gone - but no promises.

Geez, when you promised to get to this and finish it, I didn't think you meant drive us over a cliff and leave us hanging - bad Cia, you are really are trying to be the queen of cliffhangers aren't you - well since you DON't want the title and you DID this to us in Chapter 20, I am going to hang up and go nominate you for Queen of Cliffhangers - sorry but it's your own fault. Oh an by the way - awesome chapter - totally worth the wait.

I love how this is developing, despite the fact I want to reach across and smack the crap out of Blake - which shows how well you are showing us his anxiety. I think I said it before, but you do a great job of delving into your characters emotions. I can feel his angst but at the same time, it shown through his interactions. I hope Haze doesn't end up stomping on Blake - his whole reason for going west was to start a new life - hmm sounds like a title in there somewhere . Thus far, Blake seems to have found less peace of mind that he expected. Interested to see what happens in Chapter 8 now that he and Haze have 'checked each other out.'

Hope you don't mind but I am giving people the link for Chapter 7 - some of us are lazy and don't like to work too hard to find the chapter and we expect a link Chapter 7: Real Haze Andy

Happy Birthday Matt!!!! Here's hoping it was a good one and you did something fun!!!

I need some help - okay maybe a lot of help. Hopefully someone who is reading this will knows the answer etc. Apple just released it's latest version of Pages - their word processor. In the new version is the ability to convert my work into an ePub format that at a minimum can be read on iPads, iPods, and iPhones that have the free iBooks reader. I think it is also readable on other devises as they claim they are using the international standard for ePub. 1) Does anyone have an eReader other than an iSomething? Mike - the partner has an iPad - thanks to yours truly and Christmas - so we can test this out on his. But anyone have a different reader? I do not think a Kindle will work but won't say it won't. If anyone who has an eReader is interested I will email them the first 28 chapters in ePub format, provided they agree to give me feed back on the formatting etc. 2) I am trying to create a cover - I am not good at computer graphics and such. Nor am I good at inserting this into a Word/Pages format so I can make it page 1/the cover. Anyone who is reading able to help me with this?? Telling/showing me how would be preferred so I can tinker with it until I get what I want, but I will take what help I can get. If you are interested in an eCopy, shoot me an email - belsport09@gmail.com. If you can help with the Cover, PM me or email me. Thanks Andy

Meh, I think Jason was and is concerned about his team and his affect on it. Making someone uncomfortable is something I worry about in my line of work, because I am out. So I try not to do things that would make others uncomfortable - so perhaps this was a bit of self projection?? Hmm

This chapter always gets me, but half because of the memory it dredges up. You know I am so grateful to you for all your help, you really helped me bring out the emotions of the character that help give depth and realism to the story.

Hey Frosty - geez I JUST got finished answering reviews and this one is there - read the discussion thread for a better explanation of Barbara - I put it in there because I wanted folks to see this is actually a real reaction just by someone other than Barbara.

Hehe, everyone and the grandparents LOL. There is a note about Mom's reaction in the discussion form, it is in the spoiler. Read that for a better explanation of her reaction. Next Chapter is Thursday, I won't rush it because there is no cliff hanger - well other than Peter's condition - that begs for resolution Andy

King is right it is Caramello in the US and Caramilk in Canada. Okay - I need to set the record straight . . . er gay . . . er whatever - I had almost NO imput in this chapter, it was that damn good from the get go. I made comments on 8 words out of how many thousand in the chapter??? Anyta is just too kind. But, I really think this chapter was well done - despite his protestation to himself to the contrary - Karl is not so immune to feelings as he might think - he is slowly getting drawn in to Paul and his life, whether he knows it, likes it, or not. The way little bits are dropped, here and there is what I like. How much easier to just have him think it than to show it bit by bit. But sadly Anyta, you have set the bar high and you have to keep getting over it. Andy

Okay so as promised a couple days early, here is Chapter 28: The Price You Pay Sorry for all the 'updates' everyone who has it on their favorites list got, it seems there was an issue with the new software and my formatting. Finally figured it out - after about 7 tries [or how ever many notices you got] Okay, so IF you haven't read the new chapter, don't read the spoiler I am including: And you will note, no cliffs in this chapter so I won't be pressured into posting the next chapter any sooner than planned Andy