libbonobo

PS I like your new avatar!

Post some!!!! If it's at all like your blog, it will rock. Or maybe it will country. =>

Hmmm. Works for me.... [off-topic rant] I hate "works for me." Mozilla is now working on their firefox-1.5 release candidates, and I filed a bug that I can't get either 1.5rc1 or 1.5rc2 to play nice with java -- can't access the chat room here on GA, for example. A few others post that they too have java issues, but then yet few others post that it "works for me". The unmitigated gall. And now there isn't anyone with know-how who is asking questions to help figure out why it doesn't work for everybody. Argh. [/off-topic rant]

Many gems in Snow Dog's post above. I'd like to point out one more, based on connecting the items selected in the quote: when the hormonal rush fades, the relationship will also depend on your conscious choice to maintain it, and you have to be aware of those choices. With Julio, the choices you were making, at least the ones you documented in your blog, were putting him second, and you were oblivious to it. In the future, you have to wake up. Know what you are doing. Every day, make deliberate choices that put your boyfriend first. Spend time with him. Do nice things for him on a proactive basis. He shouldn't have to express disgruntlement and fear of losing you before you order your friends away and try to cook a meal for him. That's too little, too late. A relationship isn't just about feelings. It is also about the mind and will. You have to be mindful and deliberate in what you do. This is the crux of what I've been hinting at before.

LOL. No, this John Edward: http://www.scifi.com/johnedward/ You must have a life.

Good news on your dad! I'll keep praying that he does well through surgery and after. Your family is lucky that you are all a source of support for each other.

Chaz and Green sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G first comes love then comes marriage then along comes CYAN in a baby carriage err, or perhaps civil union and adoption papers

Wow, you used the phrase at long last! "It tastes me to quit your calzones with my hardness"

Sheng ri kuai le! Wan shi ru yi!

Huzzah. That's definitely key. Know yourself. Also, know what you're doing, be aware of how that's affecting other people, and be honest about it all, to yourself & others. Good luck.

Don't you yell at him. Rather, listen and try to understand. He didn't leave for no reason. Part of what I was trying to convey in my previous posts is that it is completely possible that he has felt taken for granted & treated like a second class citizen. Had I been Julio and reading your blog, I would definitely have felt that way.

HAHAHAHAHA! In fact the bonobo library is a "component system based on CORBA," (short for Common Object Request Broker Architecture) "used by the GNOME desktop". In their geekiness, the programmers decided to name their project after the great apes. Here's what a bonobo is: http://www.bonobo.org/

Yay! Doing better is good. But I'm going to keep praying for your dad. He's not out of the woods yet. Take every opportunity while he's awake to express your love.

Everybody wants your body, Green. I agree with slaveboy's comments. The ones that have been deleted.

Hehe. It often escapes detection even by other people examining the decedent's body. If the blood concentration of carbon monoxide is high, it makes the blood a bright red, which might be noticed in the skin color. Otherwise there are no signs. The only way to detect it is to suspect and then specifically measure it.

Happy birthday, CJ82! Except that aren't you 23 this year? (shakes fist at naper_vic ) In which case, here's this one:

First off, I'm glad you talked with Julio. He's the only one who could tell you what was going on with him. That was the only way you could come to terms with him, and he with you. I hope the parting was not inimical if it wasn't amicable. As to Chaz, whatever you may or may not feel for him (and one of the potential lessons from the Julio epoch is to be honest and open about your feelings, at least to yourself), less than a week on the rebound is not a good time to be starting another relationship. There's an artificial intensity to what you're feeling now. That's something everyone can understand.

You didn't post anything in your blog yet! :2hands:

I've never heard of a car doing that! Is it that it failed to turn off, or that it started up by itself? Whatever's wrong, it needs to be fixed. If it was burning gas, it's a health hazard. Carbon monoxide, a product of incomplete combusion, is completely odorless & undetectable by human senses, until it kills you. Here's as good a place as any to suggest installing a carbon monoxide detector/alarm along with your smoke detector/alarm.

I'm so sorry, Dave! Hugs for your dad, your mom, your sister, & you. You hug him too.

I'm glad you're doing better! But as far as counting the mentions of "bf"--that's probably something you should do yourself. You may be surprised. There are only 31 more mentions of Julio as "bf" or "boyfriend" (not counting occurrences in the phrase "my bf Julio", which were mentions already counted under "Julio"). Which still only makes it Julio 48, Chaz 78. But it's not only a matter of numbers; there's an issue of quality as well. What you say about Chaz is uniformly flattering or sympathetic. He's physically hot; he's got a nice family; he's just coming out of the closet, and you cry with him; he cries with you over music; he deals with loud music on the train deftly and gracefully even while sleepy; he's your ever-present sidekick through one misadventure after another, e.g., he's the one you took to your family reunion, and bonded with during that little fiasco.... Julio? Not described nearly so glowingly. There's no physical description of Julio; don't know how old he is, what he does for a living, and nothing about his family; he gets drunk, vomits all over you, makes a horrible smell, and is an embarrassment to you; he's jealous and possessive, and seems to have a propensity to physical violence; even when he tries to be nice and cook a meal for you, you don't want it because he screws up and makes things burn... I have no knowledge of your real life, but I do have knowledge of your blog. And at least in your blog, Julio clearly comes in as a distant second, both in terms of amount of attention, and the quality of that attention. Clearly, things might be different in real life, which has many more dimensions than the written word. At the same time, it is said that the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart; what you choose to write about and how you choose to say it reflects what you think is important. I don't say these things to hurt you or blame you. I'm trying to be helpful, to make you think. Pain can actually be useful if you learn something from it. If I am totally off base about the lesson to be learned, then forgive me. Still, something went wrong, and it would be worth it to try to learn what. NOT for the purpose of laying blame, but to learn to avoid it in the future, or maybe even to fix it.

For what it's worth, if you and Julio had really bonded, he's likely feeling at least as bad as you are. Consider also that you're going to leave for a few days; he fled all the way back to Spain. The pain driving that must be substantial. I don't say this to elicit schadenfreude; but maybe examining the other point of view will help you step outside your own pain for a moment. One other thing to note -- read into it what you will -- over the 5 pages of your blog up to this entry, the word "Julio" occurs 17 times. The word "Chaz" occurs 78 times.

A lot of these cough medications (antitussives) contain either dextromethorphan (an opioid) or an antihistamine (such as diphenhydramine=benadryl), along with some alcohol. Could be enough to knock a 4 year old for a loop. Poor kid! PS--I still haven't had a chance to read 5, but 3 & 4 were great!

Hehehe. Do people actually know what cooties are? Cooties are body lice (http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/cooties). Nothing a permethrin treatment couldn't fix. I confess to not knowing that until about 9th grade. Up to that point, I thought "cooties" was a deliberate mispronunciation of "cuties". Of course, then the appropriate usage would be that girls *are* cooties, not that girls *have* cooties; or, if you're gay, that MEN are cooties. Men such as this fellow: http://modelsmore.50webs.com/g4/maxiraoul011.JPG http://modelsmore.50webs.com/g4/maxiraoul008.JPG Mmmmm, Raoul Bova. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. Oh, and a note on cold symptoms: next time, AS SOON AS you feel even a tiny bit achy and start to have a tickle in the throat, take a zinc lozenge (let it melt near the throat). They really do decrease symptom duration if taken EARLY.

It's sad, but the avatar has more flexible hips and better rhythm than I do.