Freddyness

👋 it’s been quite some time, since I last visited GA. I wonder how many people remain and how many are out in the world. btw graphics are great but the game play sucks

Me i tend to open the door and glare. When they start speaking I smack the wall if the carry on I slam the door in there face. The wall is one the echos when you hit it XD and shakes XD

My photography isn't as good as my filming. I Film quite a bit. I find taking photo's with out a tripod iffy at times. But I think i'm alright. Mostly I would like it for amateur film making. The photographing is a secondary out put.

New hampshire... That sounds like as shit a place as hampshire... But in my travels I've found: Hampshire: Crap Surrey: Crap England: Crap Belgium: so so Good and bad places Gent: <3 <3 Germany: So far i love it!

Ah I'm looking for a DLSR for filming and landscapes and sky shots, so I was looking for peoples recommendations and what they like and use. Because I don't want to buy just a random DLSR to find it doesn't suit me or do anything i need it to do. and I've found real people are better to ask that the companies "Reviewers" Thanks I'll have a look in to it.

Hey I was wondering what cameras our photographers use. Also the specs and price range. And maybe why you like the camera.

i think prolific member sounds weird

Wow, re-reading it. It seems so serial. But I can see how much that messed me up in the head. and how mess up my own thoughts were. some of it sounded like someone just spoke one of Shakespeare's soliloquies in under a minute. Ha... I certainly wasn't on the sane side of the fence. XD

I've forgotten, Who I was, Who I am, And what I wanted to become. Under these constraints, I threw away my humanity, The concern, worry, Anger & cheer, Slowly I tore bits, Of my soul off to decay. My personality clashes, Like two fuchsia walls, Parallel, Never to meet. Will I ever honestly care,

As time goes by, My demons grow, Build an army, Row by row. Drop by drop, My humors spill, Even if its not my will. I can't help, But feel inside, That nothings left, Not even my pride. Having lost, My love, My pride, I start to wither, From deep inside. Creeping, Crawlin

I sit curled up, Around my knees, Rocking back and forth, in the breeze. Ba-dump Ba-dump, Echo's in my ears, My fingers curl, Digging in to bare flesh. Building, boiling, overflowing, Blood drips from finger nails, I remember the rage, The pain the hate. The monster within, that will seal my fate, In a matter of seconds, It all came true. All the thoughts, Of burying you, You were my only friend, How i loved you. The pain came from, How I lost you, It wasn't

A collection of poems.

I like it, it is short sweet and quite noticeable. Just write what you feel is usually my advice. looks like you didn't need it! LOVED IT!

Hey, so with the economic state making a turn for the worse I thought i'd share with you some simple cheep recipes I've been living off. Have any cheep and simple recipes. Share and enjoy.

Yesterday morning the Moscow Superbike races were on eurosport and I was chilling watching. It looked like it was going to be a slow 15 lap race except on the final corner of the first lap there was a crash. The race went on another lap before being red flagged. There was serious spray so when the first bike went down it was obvious that the rides could not see it until to late causing another bike to go down. Antonelli was rushed to hospital after a while died. The Sunday superbike races where postponed Oh the bright side the races at brands hatch faced dramatic heats. Though it was a good day of raceing for some. others were not so lucky. Although Shane Byrne had fallen behind, he managed to land in pole position by the end of the round six race. i like raceing

What are they and do they contain wheat if so no sir

... O_O I'm not sure how i managed that typo Seriously I know my spelling is bad but Oooo I had a spit take just then when i read it XD

So last week i bought this piece of EPICNESS! And well I've almost watched all 7 series. So lovely people i'd love it if you suggested a box set* series that you really enjoy'd. But I highly recommend Buffy & Supernatural to Everyone each episode is 30 - 45 minutes long and keeps you in thrilling action partnered with detective like situations. So any recommendations.

It's completely true, I don't know what i'm running from but my gut is telling me to leave. And I'm not sure where i'm going. at any rate next month i get a weeks break from home and family. So i guess that might help. Thanks for the words. I find rather than haveing them in my head its a lot better.

... soooo... today... or should i start with yesterday. Uh well... Today. Today my best friend had an anxiety attack, but it not just that. Those are normal. She went missing for 3 hours. I don't know what bought it on how to solve it. Also Why the fuck i'm trying to sort her out when my own mind is a living wasp nest. I'm worried for her, yeah. But i'm panicing, you know, tbh.. I no longer want anything to do with my family. I hate them and every word they say... Its irrational but I do. What do I want to do. Yeah I want to be a director... But more than anything I want to start over. With no one i know now, No family no friends. I want to go back to the person I was before... The one who didn't have feelings. The one who didn't need friends. The one who just doesn't care about anyone but herself. (okay that ones a lie, i've never cared about myself.) Its.. why i'm still here. If i cared about myself i would of left before i got hurt. I would of left when my family started insulting me like it was there right. No one has that right. No one. Physical wounds heal, mental wounds can be left gaping wide, and even when healed there's no telling when the scar will hurt . Is it wrong that I don't want to deal anymore. Is it wrong I don't want deal with this broken family thing i have going on.

That said the tekkit launcher is epic for mods, nvm the ftb.

Enjoy

Carry on my wayward son <3

thanks guys, But i feel TONS better now that i've written everything down as it is rather than avoid the issue while trying to tell. though hugs are /always/ welcome XD for all

I dunno but i’m just going to write down everything that is running through my head right now. but I honestly do not understand any of this. It started with small argument between my parents in the past year or so, slowly building up getting more and more severe over small things neither would listen to the other because the other wouldn’t listen to them. Things got worse but they concealed it from me and my little sister who is still ignorant. Slowly my dad got more and more possessive and controlling, while my mother slowly ceased to really care. They got agitated over more and more trifling subjects. It took a while but things started to look up when it seemed like my sister had a shot at getting on the junior british squad for her sport. The pair of them went to the pub, it seemed like a normal evening of mid november, but when they came back they came back separately. My mum went to go back to bed and my dad smashed open the back door and started screaming at my mum, and my mother screamed back complaining that he had kicked her in the shin. (Her lower legs were swollen at the time due to “underlying” health issues according to the doctor. So i went down to mediate the situation and remind them that my sister was asleep. I left once the situation looked under control. A short while later the shouting started again, this time more serious than before. I didn’t intervene as my mother left the house. I found out later that evening my father had threatened to kill my mother. But before this i thought everything would calm down. But i could hear smashing and crashing so i thought perhaps he’d hurt himself. So i went to see what was happening to find my dad smashing everything up, from the kitchen to the front lounge. Only to end up haveing bit of the kitchen unit lobbed at me. So i swiftly left to my room. I sorted out my room with enough space for my little sister, I got her from her room and put her near me. Cause ever fiber of my mind had judged my dad as a threat to myself and my sister. I thought maybe he’ll calm down and go to sleep. Not too long later he stormed in screaming “I’ll kill her, if she’s not back in 10 minutes. I’ll kill her. Tell her that.” It took him awhile to realised he’d scared the shit out of my sister. As soon as it was quiet enough to leave, i took my sister and we left the house. I didn’t care that it was 4 am. All I knew is my dad wasn’t sane, sober or thinking straight and a danger to myself and my sisters well being. I walked down the road with my sister and across to the local shops planning to go to my friends. Yeah i was just going to waltz into my best friends house and sleep on the sofa with my sister. but my mums friend phoned me telling me she’d phoned the police and they were coming to drop us off at hers, which is where my mum had fled too. We waited for the police, until they came. My little sister rather panicked, over what had happened was occurring. My mum decided we were going to go stay with her parents for a while so we spent almost two months there. No college for me, no school for my sister. My mother she was and emotional wreck and still is. Well both me and my sister decided we’d see him on weekends eventually. But currently they’re both bitching about the other. neither has realised that they issues upstairs arn’t going to be solved like that. You know for a while I was the sane mind, in the family. Ha yeah me Who trusts almost no one. And certainly relies on no one. But in the end I became emotionless as i was over my nans death. Yeah i liked her. But for some reason I had still have no feeling on the event and what occurred. But you know its not just that, my mother is trying to be someone she’s not and is now seriously suffering from depression and barely getting anything done. My father he’s spinning a web of words into my little sister ear, he can try all he likes to spin his web with me but i know the trick as i taught it to myself to knock the bullies down in school. So now my father probably doesn’t realise he’s polluting my sisters mind and she is saying thoughtless things around my mother that is sinking her deeper into depression. What are my feeling on this, I think about what each of them has done to wrong me. Then tally them up. But for some reason on this whole matter i have no emotions, all I want to do is LEAVE. but i know i can’t leave my sister to sit there and be broken by both of my parents shattered emotions, words & deceit. But when it comes down to it both my parents have made me feel like i’m worthless, and never going to amount to anything. It is one thing to be told these words by your peers but when your own parents say the words, it becomes a part of you. That you never escape. And to be honest, ever since my father backed up the word of my peers. I’ve felt like even if i try i’m going to fail. So why bother smiling and trying and continueing if you're only going to fail and never amount to anything. I’ll tell you something if it wasn’t for my best friend who fell in to anxiety issues and depression. I wouldn’t be here. Cause everyday I wake up thinking how stupid I am how fat, worthless and how i’m never going to make it through life, every single Stupid, Dumb or things i’ve done wrong throughout my life flashes through my mind. And everytime I try to sleep the same things flash through my mind till i have to cry myself to sleep. But that one thing that keeps me going everyday, is that I care for my friends before I care for myself. So I try to forget, everything that makes me upset, feel worthless all for the sake of my friend I smile and pretend i’m okay. I have this issue that I can’t cry when people are around, because after all I can’t trust or rely on anyone but myself. So I try my best never to look like these are the thoughts running through my head. So in the end I just become numb, neutral. It looks like i don’t care but I care, I do. They think no matter what we say you’ll be fine, it won’t affect you. they’re words and actions sting more than anything else. In the end the person I can’t forgive the most is myself. So today I wrote this to tell you all, because you can’t alway not explain sometimes you need to explain it to another to explain it to yourself. When I was younger i wanted to kill myself. Today I just want to leave and start anew, somewhere away from where I grew up and different from how i’ve lived till now. If you read this thanks, just for reading it. Just knowing that someone had read about my situation from myself I hope it lift my burden slightly. Cause I know that just writing this has lifted it a lot.