I guess days like today are going to be the ones that hit me the most. I smile through the pain, make those around me feel comfortable but keep it burried deep inside. Days like today when everyone else is busy off doing what they need to do...the house is so quiet...so alone. Random thought pops in my head "I'll go get Chinese food for lunch" (I haven't been eating lately...not sleeping very well too but thankfully, 'knock-on-wood' my nightmares have dissipated of late) ...ooops rambling!
Next thought, "Mom loves Chinese, I'll call her to see if she wants me to bring her some..."
it hits me! She's gone
Now alone and crying
Have to clear my head...stuck between do I drive to the grave site which is rather far or try to get lost in the backyard?
Lots of land and trees might be a better idea then heavy traffic and driving while sleep deprived, hungry, swollen eyes and a headache...Lordy I'm a mess!
Thank god there isn't anyone to see me!
Gotta go...sorry for rambling