Drew Payne

Thanks, you really got what I wanted to write here and that's so reassuring. I called this story "Days Like This" because I wanted to write about one, short period in Simon's life when everything changes. Originally it was going to just cover seven days, but the story just expanded, though I wanted to keep it less than a month in length. I still wanted it to be the period in his life when everything changes and for the better. I didn't want Simon making any big statements or gestures about being gay, just get to the point in his life where he doesn't deny being gay and can call out bigotry. Maybe not be able to stand up to the macho homophobia, but he has to start somewhere. As for Simon and Jeff, but they're just good friends, well in Simon's eyes they are.

Thank you for the feedback, it does me good to hear that what I wanted to write about is getting across. We hardly talk about how hard it is having depression, we talk even less about how hard it is to care for someone with depression. But that said, I didn't want to make Archie the bastard who leaves his depressed boyfriend, just someone under a lot of stress.

Tony, That's what I wanted Simon to do but when Nadine calls him "you gays" he doesn't react at all, except to challenge her bigotry. He doesn't deny it or feel threatened by it, he's gay so why should he? Which is a long way from where he was when this story started. As for Simon and Jeff, as the great Professor River Song said, "Spoilers sweaty, spoilers." Simon and Jeff are just really good friends, in Simon's eyes and this story is seen through them.

I grew up in an Evangelical Anglian background. When I started to realise about my sexuality, in my teens, I was told that I couldn't be gay, I had to change or burn in hell (Great thing to be told as a gay, scared, virginal teen). In terror I turned to the Ex-gay movement. To cut a long story short, they failed. To cut a really long story short, it screwed me up for nearly all my twenties. This was my first attempt to write about what happened to me, to use fiction to try and explain what happened to me. This isn't autobiographical, but I used some of the emotions that I'd lived though.

Rosie has been hurt by her marriage and her husband's behaviour, though being older she doesn't blame herself. It has made her a terrible control freak and she's afraid of upsetting Matthew, and fearing he'll cause trouble for her and Niki. If she could just cut all ties with Matthew then maybe she could relax into Niki's love and care. She's not a bad mother, but not a great one.

His dad has probably got the payment on a Standing Order (Automatic Payment) and has forgotten it is there. His dad is focusing on other things. He can't talk to his mum about it because she's made it plain she can't afford to pay for it (But I can't remember were that is discussed). To Simon his phone is very important, to his dad it's only £30 a month. A sum he could easily miss, but it is life or death to Simon.

@Timothy M., one of the themes here is how Simon handles the homophobia in his life. I would be naive if I ignored homophobia. Yes, Nadine bigotry is far more dangerous. Tyler's homophobia is almost thoughtless, it's his go-to-place to insult another man, regardless of the other man's sexuality, He's an alpha male, and not being another alpha male is an insult to him. But he is easily ignored because all he can do is shout. Nadine sees herself as on top of the social hill, she's straight and white and middle-class, and she believes that she should have access to things first, because she's the majority, and people who are not like her should fall in line. She wants the right to discriminate and that is so dangerous.

I like to think of this chapter as "How Not To Gay Out To Your Evangelical Father, 101".

@pvtguy, thanks for the feedback. I was surprised at how easy this chapter was to write, how the story just flowed once I'd worked out Simon's timeline. I wanted it to explain were Simon's character came from. I based Simon's school on the school-life of a friend of ours' son. He's a bright lad but he hated school, and with reason, and he'd tell me how and why he hated school. I was shocked at how little school had changed since I was there, when I had thought school had changed so much. Simon's school is based on his school.

@pvtguy, thanks for such great feedback. My teenager years were horrible and I remember how introverted I was, yet still hiding it all, even my introversion. I had one outlet, I wrote poems. They are awful, they were so teenage poetry, badly written and overflowing with rare emotions, but I managed to hang onto them and they give me a great insight into how I was feeling back then. The poems are really, really bad and will never leave to fold I have them hidden away in, but as inspiration they are wonderful and I'll be using them again. There is a longer chapter, in two parts, explaining Simon’s background and how he got to where he is, but this story I wanted to write a coming of age story, and I do throw a lot of things at Simon. I've got my strong themes in this story, and there's some fun characters coming along. I am actually writing the last chapter now, and it really makes me think looking back at where it all started.

@Parker Owens, thanks. This is what I wanted to do, show his journey to getting here. But I didn't want a big, over-the-top moment were he stands up in his class and says, "I AM GAY!!". Instead, I wanted him not denying it when someone says he's gay. It just happens and he's comfortable about it.

The bench was cold and uncomfortable against his buttocks, so he tried changing his position on it. But it was hard and unforgiving and, no matter how he sat on it, or what position he tried, it was just uncomfortable. And Freddie was late. Simon was sitting on one of the concrete benches that flanked the college’s entrance. It was the place where he always waited for Freddie, their agreed meeting place after college. Once they met, they would catch the bus home together. But not the fir

Tony (@pvtguy), Thanks for such wonderful feedback. One of the main reasons I write is to ask questions. To ask questions of myself, to help me to understand the world around me, what is happening and what has happened to me. I also write to ask questions of others, to ask if this or that is right, why does this or that cause people to behave in certain ways, what is the effect of this or that on people. Many, many years ago I was dumped by a guy who found himself a "better" boyfriend than me, and God I hated him. I imagined he'd die or at least I could hurt him the way he had hurt me (Which I could never do). Nothing did happen to him, but if something really bad had happened to him how would I have reacted? That's where this story came from. I don't believe in voodoo or karma, but coincidence seems to rule my life. I run into the most amazing coincidences all the time, and I love it. It's fascinating. Drew

I can never say sorry to Jeff because if I did I’d have to explain and he’d never believe me; even worse, he might think I’ve gone mad. So I keep silent as the guilt eats me alive. When Jeff left me, after nine years together, I hated him. He left me for Zac, who was only twenty-two. What did Zac know of life? He was just another pretty boy, but he’d turned Jeff’s head when he’d temped in Jeff’s office. Going through his mid-life crisis at thirty-nine, and panicking because he was turning fo

@JeffreyL, thanks for your feedback. Feedback means so much to me and that's what's so great about GA, readers do leave feedback. I wanted to write able unrequited love/crush but with a difference, the object of attraction being gay too. With that decision came the ending, that the narrator breaking away from this one-side, no-hope relationship.

I think Nick is feeling far too used, by both Lisa and Ethan, that he's going to withdraw into himself, especially as how turned on he was by Ethan. I don't think he can face seeing either of them.

I've not thought of a sequel to this story. Let me have a think. My original intention was to write a story were a bisexual man chose his male lover over his female one, because I'd not seen/read that before when bisexuals were portrayed in fiction.

Thank you. I originally wrote this story for a competition with the theme "LGBT History". I wrote it in one day (though I've rewritten it since). I didn't win but I think they wanted something a lot more positive. My first nursing job, after qualifying, was on this HIV Ward (It was a real place) a little later than when this story is set, but it was a terrible time then. We were fighting so hard and yet our patients were still dying, and they were gay men my own age. I wanted to capture that hopelessness. Davie is me, in a cameo. Sean isn't my husband, but is an old ex of mine. I have written an outline for a sequel to this story, I really need to write it.

Thanks for the feedback. I wanted to write here about the lie that being gay is a "sinful" or "toxic" lifestyle. That right-wing Christian prediction that being gay will destroy your life. Noah has found happiness and a fulfilling life outside of the Christian Church. I wanted to write about someone who has successfully escaped that awful environment. The fate of the chapel was inspired by real events. When I was growing up there was a Christian Fellowship church not far from where I lived. It was even more homophobic than the Evangelical Church I grow up attending. I visited my parents, ten years after I had left home (not my first visit back there), and found out that that Christian Fellowship church had closed and it's building was now a carpet shop. It was like it was never there. It did stick in my memory because that Christian Fellowship had claimed they were the future. I don't think Noah was brave, he was desperate, he had to leave this awful environment where he couldn't be himself. It's why I left home too.

I've been on the receiving ending of all these awful platitudes, unasked for, at some point or other in my life and I've always found them useless. I wanted to show up those platitudes for how useless they are. The ending was to highlight that. If any of these people had taken a moment to get to know Tom, they would have realised how useless their advice was, but they were too busy thinking about themselves. Thanks for your feedback. This is one of my favourite stories because it's about something I feel strongly about and I enjoyed creating the characters here.

I wrote this story a very long time ago. I set myself the task of writing about someone I didn't like and didn't sympathise with. Stalking was just being recognised as a crime/something dangerous at the time. I wondered what would make someone stalk another person, and this was the story that came out of it. I wanted a twist at the end to show up the narrator for the coward he is. For a long time I didn't like this story, the narrator is vile (with all his prejudices). I re-read it, looking for stories to post here, and was surprised how it worked. Quite a few of my older stories just don't work, though I’m rewriting some of them. Thanks for your feedback, it does me so much good to hear that people get my writing. That means so much to me.

I am very lucky in that I do a job that is never the same two days in a row, but doing a repetitive job would be my nightmare, I get bored easily. That interview with Russell Tovey gave me the inspiration. And "to get one's heart's desire and then regret it" has always fascinated me. Thanks for your feedback, it does it so much good to hear it and it re-assures me.

Nick has got himself into a terrible situation and he was led into it by others. At least he had the strength to pull away from Ethan's seduction. But oh, what is he going to do next? Thanks for your feedback, it means a lot.

When I started writing this story I made the decision that Simon, the central character here, would not hate himself for being gay. I've written a lot about that negative self-image elsewhere and I didn't want to that here. I also didn't want to write the cliché of the gay coming out novel, I wanted to write something closer to real life. That's why this story begins with Simon being dumped by his first boyfriend and that being the catalyst for him to come out. I also wanted to write about negotiating life with separated parents. But I also wanted to place him a world that is still homophobic. The events of the youth group are filtered through Simon's eyes and he's taking a rose-tinted view of it because he so enjoyed himself and felt so comfortable there. He just remembered the positive stories, except for Freddie. Freddie's coming out story wasn't positive. He's come out to his parents, shoved boyfriends in their faces, and they are ignoring his sexuality. They even say that Vee would make a good girlfriend for him. Freddie doesn't admit it, hides it with comedy, but this has deeply hurt him. It's one of the reasons he's so in-your-face with his sexuality. This story isn't the place to write about the argument that coming out is no longer needed, which I certainly don't agree with. That’s a different story.

@Talo Segura, thank you so very much