sorgbarn

How could I not read this? Even if it is just this chapter, and even if it isn't my city; a Swedish setting in an online fiction is so rare I just had to read it. And I'm glad I did. It is an interesting, well-written chapter that also works as a 'stand alone piece'. Apart from the Swedish setting (and really, business hotels looks pretty much the same all over the world, but you had the tunnelbana and a few comments about the Swedes) this story had other contents I really enjoyed reading about: an older protagonist (so 46 isn't that old in RL but in romantic fiction it's practically ancient, and I truly wished there were more fictional characters past their twenties). And I enjoyed the way in which his age showed; the graying hair, his changed eye sight and not the least the way he is reasoning, showing life experience (although it seems to be a lonely life). a realistic sex scene. I once heard (or read) someone saying porn should come with a warning text concerning body image and unrealistic and sometimes dangerous and/or health hazardous sexual performances, the same could apply for a lot of romantic and erotic fiction. Awkward first time sex scenes are great - and sexy -in my opinion. and finally a - for me - appealing style. I like the way you move between now and then at the beginning of the chapter, and maybe you wouldn't really need the years written out. It worked without the specific years at the beginning. So will he call David? I guess the next chapter will tell.

What's this about a storm and a missed update? Apparently something happened (and didn't happen) when I was spending my time on a Tunisian beach last week, and with no internet access I was luckily ignorant about it all. (Or else I would surely have suffered withdrawal symptoms like everyone else.) As for this chapter - I like it when it isn't predictable and straight forward, like the end of this chapter. Conflict is great, and this little disagreement between Gibby and Tanner makes for an interesting twist in the story. I think you will make it better again, but actually I think it could help Gibby get on with his life if he can't keep his image of Tanner spotless like a saint - you know what they say: it's hard to compete with the dead, they make no mistakes - and I still feel it would be better for Gibby to move on (but then I don't read enough paranormal stories to know how these things 'normally' solve themselves - and ... did that even make sense?) It was interesting and surprising to find out that Shelby is in fact Tanner's sister. And the whole visit at Tanner's home brought some light to Tanner's person. Still, poor, poor family: poor Shelby (I can't imagine what losing a sibling at that young age must do to you) and poor parents (ever since I had my first child it has been one of my biggest fears) - their lives will never be the same again. I'm actually glad this story isn't about Tanner's family - that would have been too sad for me to read. I'm looking forward to the next chapter - but if you are going to have any more storms or delaying chapter updates, next week would suit me ok (but just barely), since I won't be home then either (and of course I don't care about your other readers), but don't make a habit of it! Reading fiction online is extremely addictive and readers' need their weekly doze to keep well.

I enjoyed Tanner's 'little' outbreak in the classroom, but I wish Amanda could feel his presence. I hope he'll continue to haunt both Amanda and Ethan, and that it will spook them real bad, so much in fact it will drive them completely mad ... with guilt and fear. It would serve them right. This romance thing though ... are ghosts cold, ice cold, lower than normal body temperature? 'Cause I'm having a difficult time getting around what it would be like making out or whatever else with someone who is 'cold'. Apart from that - they are cute, very, very cute, and the interaction between the two of them quite frankly - sexy. Still if he's cold ... brrr!

Very sweet - the day spent together, Tanner 'jumping' Gibby and finally the kiss when Gibby slept! That being said, I still hope Gibby can move on with his life and find someone living to share his life and feelings with. But maybe Tanner can help Gibby move along, just as I suspect Gibby will help Tanner do the same. I wonder if Jonathan will find out what is going on with his son and Tanner, and if he does, how he will react to it. And what will happen once they are all back in school? You know in films and books (guess I never read/watched much paranormal romances, only horror stories) with ghost's appearances the ghosts often have the shape and looks of how they were at the time of death - torn clothes, big open wounds etc. I understand that's not the case with Tanner, but I can't help imagining how Amanda and Ethan would react if they were confronted with a bleeding and dead-looking Tanner, lets say in school, or during a game. I'm sure Ethan would be terrified, maybe not Amanda so much, but who knows?

Despite being a well-written and read-worthy story about a kid with a trouble past, this story has an unfinished feeling to it. sure it can stand on its own as it is, the last chapter (14) a bit hurried, but at least two questions remain for the reader to have answered; what really happened to Danny? Though a realistic ending - no answers, no one knows, he is just gone and will most likely never be found, dead or alive - it is not what one wants in fiction. And what will happen between Matt and Andy once Andy finds out Matt is gay? Maybe it's a completely different story, but it's a big part of Andy's character, not the least because that's the reason he's in the place at all. An exploration and a conclusion on that would have been nice. Other than that, this is a nice read with a likable main character you really care about and you want him to succeed in life. Of the supportive characters Mark and Dr. Marshall stand out as caring and strong supportive adults dedicated to help teens in trouble. If you don't mind not having all your questions answered at the end of a story then this is definitely worth reading.

This is a sweet, humorous tale, and I enjoyed it a lot. One of the main reasons for that probably being Kristina - and especially in the first part of the story her reasoning had me laughing several times. Another reason to like the story is the contrast between Josh's and Kristina's views on love and sex, which of course is reversed from what society most often claims are typical male and female behavior. Are men, young or old, still puzzled by up-front women in the matter? If so it definitely is time for a change, it's not about sex but individuals. The end with the tangled shoe-laces is adorable, and quite fitting with the no strings/strings attached dialogue they have all had earlier on. Finally I want to say, I'm glad Kristina had her way with Genji. I think she would have been mightily disappointed if she had had to go home still a virgin. And for Josh and Brennan I hope there is more for them, together. All in all - sweet and funny!

I had forgotten just how much I've missed Elyran and Maraki until I read this again. Great to have them back! And there is a lot to enjoy in this chapter, the humorous interaction between the barmaid (is she a maid or is she the boss?) had me smiling huge, and again the love between Elyran and Maraki, it's compassionate and enduring and trustful. I think that is what made Elyran capable of killing the other man, and I hope he will get over it and not let guilt overwhelm his mind and senses. Maraki is the same as ever, not very sure of himself at all. He really feels inferior to Elyran, "not as clever". Hasimir, you have to make sure that Maraki gains some self-confidence before this story ends. Seeing him like this makes me feel sad for him. So ... will you be posting more often again? Can't wait till they reach Ogrushkai Union - next chapter, right? Soon? Tomorrow? This weekend? Please!

Too bad Tanner didn't have the nerve to talk to Gibby like this before he died - it might have altered his future and done both boys a lot of good. In comparison to the last chapter this has a lighter, and, despite the events leading up to this, brighter feel to it - maybe it's the boldness with which Tanner is checking Gibby out, or the ease with which they enjoy each others company not letting the fact of a death ruin it for them - I believe Gibby is still a little chocked (or maybe he has experience of otherworldly presence since before when he was hurt from the fire?) for like Manu I think he is taking it extremely well. This is also a chapter of confession. It is nice to get to know Tanner a little more - someone said it was creepy to see how he defended Amanda, I thought it was innocent. Apparently he doesn't know what has happened to him - and you no doubt will change that - but for now he can still find some joy about his too short life. I feel sad for how his memories will be tarnished once he knows the whole truth about not only his ex-girlfriend, but also his best friend. Has me thinking - some things we are best off not knowing. Jonathan's reaction to hearing his son's conversation was another delight in this chapter. I wonder what he would have done if he knew just with what Gibby was talking. Not quite the phone! These turn of events make this an even more interesting read. Will you turn into a story about revenge? Or is it about finding the killers and if so how will Gibby do that? Will it become a romance with supernatural aspects? Well, I'm not sure how to categorize it anymore, and it intrigues me. You've done a great job!

This is a brilliant chapter! Loved the Ethan and Amanda scene at the beginning - Ethan’s concern and Amanda’s cold indifference - and the scene with Tanner in the back seat and the very final line, “I think I’m dead.” (Just ‘think’, you are not going to revive him, are you?) Just wonderful! Last week I said you should feel free to surprise me any time you wanted – and you did just that – thank you, it was a great read. It goes well with the how the story is unfolding, still it’s unexpected enough to hit the reader off guard. (Actually I had a feeling of ‘something’ otherworldly in chapter one, or maybe it was chapter two, I put it in the review I wrote back then, so it’s not just something I’m making up to make me look like a more insightful reader or an annoying, pretentious person. But when chapter followed on chapter and nothing more of the like happened, I wrote it off as something I had analyzed too much into.) It must feel good to still have your mother's notes (take good care of them), and I understand her reasoning about the events in this story so far. It's sad. Although most of us want a happy ending I’m not sure it is necessarily what is best for every story. This chapter moved me more than any of the others, because it was unpredictable and darker, not everything in life is bright and happy, and not every hardship ends with a well-deserved reward, no matter how much we wish for it to do so, and not all villains get what they deserve. I don’t know all your writing, but this chapter shows me another KC than the one I’ve gotten used to, and I appreciate that, most of all I think the story can benefit from it. (Don’t worry I’m not going to cry if it do ends happily ever after … hmm there’s a thought, ever after … as in the afterlife …) So this turned out to be something like magic realism, and you definitely have my full attention now. More surprises to come? Some other thoughts on my mind: have you counted how many times the characters have either showered or taken a bath so far in the story? The cleanliness in the last couple of chapters is high above normal average. And what happened to Scott – remember him - the waiter from one of the early chapters? Was he just a passing or a recurring character? He has crossed my mind on and off for some weeks now.

Cliffhanger, someone said there was a cliffhanger? I didn't see one, can you please point me in the right direction. Now what would really surprise me would be if you killed off Tanner in the next chapter, or any chapter soon to follow. I'd even be surprised if he isn't alive at the end of the story (feel free to surprise me any time you want ). I think it's more likely Tanner will end up at the hospital where Jonathan is working. By now Amanda is totally out of touch with reality. I wonder what the world looks like from her POV. She would probably be telling a completely different story. But this is not just fear of getting caught cheating, this is hate and obviously neither she nor Ethan have any mental restrictions against using uncalled for violence. Ethan is getting dumber by the chapter I think. Someone ought to have had a talk with him about not rushing into situations without counting to hundred several times first. Looks like this behavior isn't new to him - acting first then (maybe) a little bit of thinking. Can't he learn from experience? I still enjoy the villains though. And what about the gun, shouldn't the Grady's have kept it locked away? (Not sure what your laws are saying in the matter.) Luckily Gibby is as sweet as ever. For the next chapter I hope you don't hurt Tanner irreparably. And if he does end up at the hospital, I hope Gibby will make frequent visits to see him.

This was my favorite film when I was a child (in the early 80's). I had a VHS tape and watched it so many times I lost count. Ingrid Bergman played the lead part and I just loved her. A couple of years ago I saw it again (on dvd my husband gave me), and I still think it's a great film.

Hehehe, I’ve come to really LIKE Ethan and Amanda. It’s something about flawed, imperfect, even horrible characters that appeals to me (probably because it makes my awful self look so much better in comparison). I’m sure you will turn my mind against them in future chapters, but right now their actions seem reasonable enough to me. Amanda is just trying to save her own hide (who wouldn’t in her situation? She may be a human with low moral but she’s still acting in a human way to solve her problems, but of course I wonder how her efforts will turn out in the end – not so good I suspect)and at the same time she is trying to keep her trophy boyfriend (I hope he’ll make up for his … dumbness in the back of the car, so she’ll get something more out of the deal than just a good looking shell ). And Ethan – I still fell a bit sorry for him, and him jumping to (wrong) conclusions without even speaking to Amanda, that is also very human, and just as in real life the result is not what he intended. What also makes him more realistic is that he seems to be genuinely worrying about losing his girlfriend to Tanner. Lucky for him he’s not bright enough to see that she is using him for her own purposes – but even if he had, I’m not sure it would have bothered him. Gibby and Jonathan on the other hand have this almost perfect father-son relationship. Whatever conflicts they have, they always solve it peacefully and with mutual understanding. Even when it comes to Gibby’s need for counseling Jonathan is wise enough not to push. It’s understandable Jonathan will do anything for his son – he almost lost him and they only have each other. Just be careful it doesn’t get too perfect. Finally there is Gibby and Tanner. I see the other readers expected/wanted kissing – while all along I was thinking, ‘he’s swimming in his underwear, ewww – get out of that pool now!’ A kiss had been nice. I couldn’t help laughing at the phone ringing, what a classic way to break a tense moment filled with unspoken expectations. It was a nice scene. I highly enjoyed the entire chapter. You are teasing and protracting your way through it, and doing a good job of it. I really like that. What fun would it be if Gibby and Tanner ended up kissing in the pool the very first time they were alone? Now we’ll have to wait and see what will happen the next time they see each other, it will be so much better. Argh, who am I kidding? Give us a kiss!

In the mood for something that will give you tears in your eyes and feelings of anger and upset? Well,then this is just what you're looking for. The story of Ian is a story about a child's personal hell and his way back to the human world. It's a story about the darker sides of human nature as well as the lighter sides, the evil and the bad. I don't seek out stories about children being abused, and I think there is only so much I can handle on the subject. This story reaches that limit, but thankfully its other half is a sunshine story. Ian certainly deserves to be happy, to have people care for him and love him, but for a long time I sit there waiting for a setback - it never comes. Ian gets his fairy tale ending, and maybe we need it, since so often in real life there are too few fairy tale endings. So ready for some crying? Pull out the tissues and prepare yourself for a heart-aching and heartwarming story.

I was going through the tags when my attention was caught by this and I began reading. After the initial funeral scene I quickly had my doubt it wouldn't end as one might suspect from the very beginning, but kept going. Reading this is a like taking a tour you already know will end badly, but somehow you can't stop your self from going. At times I wished I could reach into the story, or maybe the writers mind, and force them to change the set course, but of course then it wouldn't be such a intense piece to read. A lot of feelings, most of them connected with sadness and sorrow comes to mind. But now when thinking back to it after having read it, I think it is a story that could come in different versions with different outcomes, optional endings or something. But even with this one definitely worth reading.

Argh, cheating students! That's the worst kind. What is it with them thinking they stand above their co-students that allows them to take a short-cut to the grade they think they should have, preferably without having to work for it? Towards the end of a semester there is always someone getting caught cheating, in my subject it's often copy-paste cases, occasionally someone who has used google translate , to whom I say they could at least take the time to read the damn thing through and fix the most obvious mistakes. Sometimes I wonder if it says 'dumb' on my forehead? They think I'm easily fooled. So that was completely off topic, (sorry) but it was what popped up in my mind when reading the first part of this chapter. It's understandable Amanda is feeling pressured to keep her cheating team together, they all have a lot to lose. Tanner wanting out of it is both admirable and understandable as well, he's thinking about his future. The best way for him would of course be if he confessed to what he has done. But I'm sure he thinks he will get away with it, maybe so, but now he is a potential threat to his'friends and I doubt they will let him go peacefully. The mature way to handle it would be for Tanner to confess and make amends, but then there would be no story, right? Well, some group of 'friends' they are. Amanda 'pleasant' as always, and what is it about Mike? What has he got against Tanner? And he isn't very nice to Ethan either the way he maliciously makes sure Ethan finds out Tanner and Amanda are in the library. And it doesn't stop there, he is spreading rumors about Tanner among their team-mates as well. Ethan by the way doesn't seem very bright. Actually I feel kind of sad for him, the way I see, this far, he is being used by Amanda and by Mike. But why would a smart girl (evil people can be smart too, they are the worst kind) like Amanda want a fool like Ethan for boyfriend, are looks really that important? It's only a matter of time before this group of friends will start falling apart, inner and outer forces contributing. Wonder whom Tanner will turn to if isolated from the group - you have any suggestions?

Oh, KC, this was short but sweet! It must have been all those glistening hard bodies that made it so. (Don’t worry about the delay – important thing is: are you OK? Are your family? ) Despite its shortness this chapter had a lot to tell. The interaction between Amanda and her father/the principal revealed quite a lot about their father-daughter relationship. I guess Amanda has him wrapped around her little finger (it’s a Swedish expression, do you have it in English?). The scene gives a glimpse of an explanation as to why she is the way she is. It’s obvious her father is trying to avoid a scene either directly in the cafeteria, or when they get home. Was she a terrible three year old throwing tantrums her parents gave into? And then they just never stopped giving her what she wanted/wants. Also I think it’s understandable if a parent doesn’t want to see their children’s faults, but if that’s the case here it has benefited none, only made matters worse. But what happened to Tanner in this scene? He disappeared, did he just keep reading his book? Too bad, I would have liked a reaction from him, but he’ll make up for it another time. Right? The football practice scene also gave a better picture of a few of the characters: Ethan, Tanner and Amanda – well done! It looks as if Tanner is getting ready to stand up against Amanda. But Ethan walks in her leash. Guess she likes men who she can control with her temper moods (makes me wonder what her mother is like). I can’t help but feel a little sorry for Ethan, but at the same time I feel a little bad about how Amanda gets to represent the female side of world population. Sure, women often have a reputation of being scheming, manipulative, not covering each other’s backs and being irrationally temperamental, but don’t let her stand as the only female representative. Or at least give her some redeeming characteristics. Toward the end Amanda is trying to give Tanner a small paper strip of some kind. I don’t get it. Is it some cultural reference I’m missing – if so please explain it to me - or is it something that will be given an explanation later on – if so I’ll be patient.

Do I want to see Amanda bitch-slapped? First I'm not familiar with the expression, but think I get the overall meaning of it. Secondly I'm not a believer of revenge, yes, it feels good for the wronged person to see their bully hurting, but most likely it would just back fire. To humiliate her, especially publicly, would only cause more hatred and worsen the problem. (Hey, maybe that's just what you should do then?! It would only make matters worse for Gibby - and that's fiction; make sure you torment your characters, especially the good guys) But in real life the problem would just move. She would find someone else to take out her anger on if she no longer had Gibby or who ever was before him. What I really want to know is why she is acting the way she is! So far it doesn't make sense to me. (Which is good, because it makes me want to read more.) What motivates her actions towards Gibby? The first day she didn't even know him, she had never met him before. Yes, there are a lot of people who like to make life difficult for others, but still something motivates their actions. Had she heard something about Gibby before he began school? Was she trying to impress her friends with a mean joke on Gibby's expense? I want to see if there is something in Amanda's history and/or in her character that has made her to this nasty person. What is she afraid of? Is Gibby a threat to her? And if so, in what way? As long as you give me some explanation (before the end of the story) to who and what she is, I guess you can ... 'bitch-slap' ... her all you want. It will make an interesting story. As for the Tanner guy, I'm getting interested in what book(s) he is reading, and what it will say about his character. And will this last event in the cafeteria make him look up from his book and maybe show some support for poor Gibby? Let Gibby make at least some acquaintances or even better, friends before you and Amanda keep tormenting him.

See, I told you - teachers are nice people! Students on the other hand ... ... are like people are most, good, nice, bad, evil, and everything in between (as are teachers, some would say). Of course Amanda would be in this class, was she in any of his other classes too? And you put a set of twins in this story (even if it wasn't the girls as I thought last week), and what about book-reading guy, hmm ... he's acting a little mysterious. Still too little information about any of them for me to form an opinion about them, except for Amanda. She's the villain so far, will there be more to her? Overall I think it was an OK first day at school. Sure it had been nice if someone had made an effort to get to know Gibby a little more. Shelby was nice enough when they ate together. And the comment from one of the twins at the end of the chapter was a little mean, but not necessarily meant to hurt Gibby. They are young, they say things without actually thinking how it will affect others. I'm a little disappointed to see officer Blackfeather's daughter in Amanda's company though. I'm looking forward to learn more about all of them in future chapters. I also wonder how Jonathan's first day at his new work place has been. But I guess this is Gibby's story. Keep up the good writing!

I've read your last entries on the 'nanny issue', and I must say I'm impressed how patiently you are dealing with her. Just reading about it makes me exhausted. Seems to me nanny is forgetting a couple of things. Most importantly - you are the parents, not she. Secondly - there are more ways than just one to feed and raise a baby/child. Just because she is used to do it one way, and maybe has done it so since her own children were babies, doesn't mean your way isn't good. Is she up to date with the latest directives on feeding and such? Just as you say as long as the child is content and happy there is no need to change any routine, and she, like all children, will let you know when she isn't. You're also saying you don't know everything - well, no first time parents know everything, and even if there is a second time around you still don't know everything,because every child is different. You don't have to be a perfect parent, just good enough. I hope the nanny issue works out for you. Good luck!

Wow! Posting on a Sunday, that was unexpected and it is/was only afternoon where I am. A pleasant surprise however and I loved it. I also loved the parents in this chapter. The dialogue between Jonathan and Gibby, maybe a little more polite than what goes on in my life with my kids, and the issue settles a little too easy compared to real life, but still, oh so, recognizable! Embarrassing parents what worse could happen to a kid? I hated it when I was a child, but now when I'm the parent I've realized it can be fun exploring that role and make them squirm a little. (No, I don't make them suffer in public, honest, I don't.) Maybe that's why the Native American police officer/father is my personal favorite in this chapter. It was a short appearance but memorable. *snickers* His poor daughter, but I assume she's used to it by now. For the rest of the chapter - evil twins, or one evil and one collaborator - will they show up in Ms. Stein's class? I think Ms. Stein will appear to be a decent person. Why would she be a 'bitch'? Teachers are people too, just more scary, and with a lot of power over your future. Most just want to help and make sure their students do their best possible, and with a new student the first day of the semester she would have no reason to react badly if he's a few minutes late. Or am I completely wrong? Guess I'll have to wait a week (and a half) to find out.

This chapter made my train ride to work this morning so much better. I was grinning through most of it (I wonder if any other passengers noticed?). The dialogue between Gibby and the waiter/Scott was wonderful. I especially enjoyed Gibby's inner monologue and the flirting, and I'm glad you have kept the humor I recognize from Mr. Anonymous. This Scott, will he be a love interest? He seemed like he could take on the part. Unfortunately he didn't seem to react all that well to Gibby's scars. But burn scares can be pretty severe looking and it might take a while to get used to see if he has never seen any. And he has auburn hair - is that a 'thing' of yours? I hope he will return, yeah I think he will - next chapter? More background info in this chapter too. Since I'm not completely familiar with the US school system, how old is Gibby? 18? And we found out it's been ten months since the fire, and that he is suffering mentally as well as physically from it. But I still want to know more. Oh, and old ladies should know when to keep their mouths shut! They should be old enough to know not to stare and definitely not to shout out like that - rude! Gibby wasn't overreacting. He must be so tired of all people looking and acting strange around him when they see his scars. No wonder he prefers to hide them. (One more thing - this chapter was too short. It didn't last all the way to work. I had to stare out the window for ten minutes with nothing more to read. )

I say as carringtonjr, this is a classical beginning: a move, a new place, a new beginning and a past to be revealed to the reader. So how what did I think about it? I enjoyed the dialogue between Gibby and his father, it felt natural and told the reader enough information about the characters to become interested to continue reading. The same goes for the inner monologue and the description of the characters. Overall this chapter contains plenty of nicely planted clues to intrigue and keep a reader's interest. They have no home (destroyed in a fire), the father has a new job (why a new job? what happened to his old job, or didn't he have one?), both father and son a scarred by whatever has happened (literally and figuratively?) and what has happened to the mother (dead?). How can one not keep reading with all those questions that must be answered? Something else that caught my attention is Gibby's feeling of being observed in his room - was that just his father, or foreshadowing? Maybe it's nothing. Other observations, this chapter contained a lot of description, of the characters, of the town and finally of their new home. I have a hard time absorbing a lot of description especially when it is about a place I've never seen as in a real or fictional town/city or a house/home. I understand why you put it in here, to let the reader know what kind of a town they have come to, and what kind of a house they are moving into. Unfortunately my mind work on its own once I get the first details and before I get to the third descriptive detail my mind has made its own picture. I probably will have to come back and re-read these parts if they play a vital part of understanding the story. Of course I should have started with saying - yay, a new story! (I meant to make a shorter comment, but I don't really think I'm capable of it.)

Twenty levels of intimacy? It makes me wonder where I ... no, I will not even think about it, in real life I guess you will be happy if you make it passed level ten? Or maybe levels one to ten is for non-romantic relationships? Just joking! I like the idea of different intimacy levels, very interesting to read about, and the dialogue between Maraki and Elyran when Maraki is trying to explain the differences - entertaining and sweet. They are so comfortable with each other. This is an other great chapter, although in a different way than the two previous. they relied on growing suspense, this chapter is in my opinion mostly about the humor, as in the above mentioned dialogue. The pub scene is an other example. The exchange with the woman in the pub, made me laugh. I can imagine her colleague's dread when he thinks Maraki is interested in him. I guess the Ogrushkai aren't that well looked upon or liked by humans. But you didn't forget the suspense all together.; who are the men in the far end of the pub? Are Elyran and Maraki being followed? Will they make it to Ogrushkai Union? I hope so, because I really want to see Elyran's reaction to a reversed situation to the one depicted in this chapter. Doesn't have to be a pub or even anything similar, I just like the idea of reversed perspectives. Not to mention a possible 'meet the parents/family' situation. What is the general Ogrushkai opinion on humans? I know I'll have to wait for answers, but you can't blame a reader for wondering and anticipating what will come next, can you? Thanks for writing!

When I read this chapter last night, close to midnight, I didn't have the time to comment. Actually i didn't expect another chapter so soon after ch. 15 - a pleasant surprise! (I have to stop reading way past bedtime, when the next day is a working-day.) This is another great chapter. I liked how you increased the suspense yet a few notches in this chapter. The visit from the Nur'Zhul soldiers, the hiding in the secret room underground and then the decision to move on with their journey all helped with this, but of course it is all a cunning plan of the Mogul Emperor - I wonder how long it will take Elyran to suspect they are just being played with? In my opinion, the longer it takes the better. However nice the Carris family is (and I'm so relieved to see they will live, I would feel so bad about the children if something happened to them, or their parents), I'm now looking forward to new places, and new people/creatures. Are they going to Maraki's land? If so, that would be nice to see/experience for Elyran as well as for the reader(me).

Loved this chapter! It gave the answers to almost all of the questions I had after chapter 14. The buildup of the chapter was well done; it began sweet enough and ended with the ever growing threat from the Mogul Emperor. I worry about Maraki’s life. The the Nur’Zuhlians he is indeed just a tool to get what they want from Elyran. The emotions or maybe more like the tone of voice used showed a wide spread. I already mentioned the sweetness (sorry if I’m repeating myself, but for the most part reading your stories is a feel good experience); the closeness in bed, the conversation – what a great place for covering the days of their escape! Then there is the humor. I laughed at the lines about Maraki eating the Grikkar cat, especially when Elyran thought, “I hoped he grilled it …” I’m not so sure he actually did! And then when Maraki demanded Greiff “to take us to the healer named Mimo.” And there is love and sex. This scene is much more tender than the what happened in the prison, as if Maraki had more control over his actions, or maybe it is because Elyran takes command (at least to begin with). I’m happy to see they found a way of making love without any of them coming to harm. But really, is it my imagination or was Elyran on some level contemplating bottoming in penetrative sex again? in the future? Well maybe, the human body is capable of exceptional things. Finally it has the growing threat against Maraki’s and Elyran’s safety. The scene change to the Mogul Emperor left me as reader feeling more than a little bit at unease. I have to know what will happen next. Will Elyran put one and one together and realize what is odd about their escape to Nighholm? Before it is too late? And what will he do about it if he does? Great chapter, Hasimir , and I'm so looking forward to the next.