sorgbarn

Nice turn of events! You´re keep my attention, that´s for sure. And just after Rick has been just the perfect boyfriend to Ben after the attack. Why is it that people can never just talk things through before they go all crazy and make decisions they will regret later? But of course then there would be no story, at least no interesting story, for us to read, and this is definitely interesting. I believe the evil/crazy mother/stepmother is something of a stereotype not only in fairy tales but also in fiction here at GA And if it´s not the mother, then it´s the father/stepfather. But I´m not complaining, on the contrary.

So I´ve read a few more chapters and the anticipation is still growing. This chapter was thrilling, the long wait at the hospital, and the still uncertain outcome of it all. Nice to get to know the people around Ben though. I really like it how you give the information about the characters a little at a time, and I even come to like the multiple POV´s, it gives this story the feeling of something like a tv-series, where you get to know not just the main character(s) but quite a few of the sub characters as well. I see how an other reviewer commented about the heavy info piece about rugby, and not being much of a sports person myself I must say that part I skimmed a little (I probably have to google some video clip to actually get how it works). Otherwise I think the balance between description, details and action works well together - at least it does for me.

OK, this is still interesting and enjoyable. Ii still wonder about Rick´s past and his intentions, but even more so about Ben. Everyone around Ben seems so protective of him, and you let little clues about his past slip every now and then, which I like. You have described the physical side of their relationship so far. The sex is nice (and hot) but it´s no wild guess that these men have some issues to work through if they will even have a chance to make it work relation-wise. Well, time to stop reading, even if I´d really like to continue. Next chapter tomorrow.

What a nice and promising start. The sister and granny made some interesting sub-characters, both of them colorful and nosy like only family can be without being too rude. But it was really Rick that got my attention. Has he done this kind of thing before? He seems awfully sure of himself, both with the bag he brought with him (the things he placed in Ben´s apartment contributing to this chapters light heartedness and feel of comedy) and the way he acted towards Ben and his relatives. I wonder what his story is? The switching POV´s didn´t bother me as much as it sometimes do (and sometimes it can make me completely stop reading a story) and even though it does shift a lot I had no trouble keeping the POV´s apart. Now - on to chapter two.

Hehehe, I can´t really remember any bad exes. And I could blame it on fact that it´s almost seventeen years since my last, but a more honest answer would probably be that I was the bad ex - clingy, whiny, vindictive, stalkerish ... Again I´d like to think it was because of my youth, but then again probably not. (In my defense I have to say in my current realationship, 16 years now, I have behaved well. )

I would say it depends - on what I´m reading, why I´m reading and also in what language I´m reading. Naturally I´ll reader faster, not quite skim but close to it, when I read in my native language, when I read in English I need to concentrate more and the pace is slower, skimming while reading in English often means I have to go back and re-read, therefore I try not to do it. I´m a lot like Cia when my reading is for enjoyment (and that´s the main reason for me at the moment) - I´ll see the pictures the words are building not the words themselves, but I think all reading is like that for me, even non-fiction. If I can´t picture it I´ll stop reading. Special focus, and tasting, not every word, but every sentence is what I do when I discover a book with an (in my opinion) out standing use of language or very special tone of voice - it happens every now and then. In those cases it doesn´t matter much what the subject of the book is, I can read it and enjoy it for the language alone. This happens more often when I´m reading in my own language. But I have two examples in english: At swim, two boys by Jamie O´Neill, a novel I started reading last autumn, and I managed 150 pages before I gave up (it´s 600+ pages). My reasons: to little knowledge of some of the novels subjects (there are several) and a pretty difficult language. All the dialogue is written in Irish dialect, and the novel is told from five (I think) POV´s, each with it´s very own personal voice. And the author has a habit of starting a new POV without telling the reader who it is. So I gave up and had the book by my bed for a couple of months before I started again, willing to give it a second chance (I´ve read good about it). The second time around I not only managed to finish i, I enjoyed a lot and one thing I like about it in particular is it´s language, the way it´s written - and i really got in to the Irish. But the book demanded a slow and careful read. My second example is Tom Spanbauer´s Now is The Hour. I really enjoyed the style in which it is written. Important words and phrases are repeated throughout the novel, the first person POV gives the reader images and flashes of images of his memories and his feelings and actions that I find captivating. My positive experience with that style is the reason I´m now reading The man who fell in love with the moon - and again I´m reading for the style, the words and the language used. So it depends on whether I read for the story itself or if I read for how it´s written!

For me a summary or at least a brief description of the story is important, especially if it´s an author I´ve never read before - I find it extremely difficult to start reading something with out a single hint about where this story is about or where it´s going. The lack of summary/story-description is a problem with a lot of on-line stories I think. If it´s an author I´ve read before and appreciated then that alone can make me proceed to his/hers next story, but I still need a summary. Character´s age is not important for me and what genre i read vary over time - I tend to read in one genre at a time (romance just now) before moving on to an other. I often read reviews of a story I´m interested of reading myself, that goes for both online reading and published novels. If you read enough reviews you soon get a feeling of which reviewers have the same taste that you do. Recommendations are great. Occasionally I like to read out of my comfort zone; a reading circle or group where someone else pick the stories is a really good way to read fiction i would never read otherwise, and I´ve found several good stories/novels and author´s that way.

When I was six I wanted to be a priest, and when I was a couple of years older I wanted to be a missionary (because I had seen Ingrid Bergman in the movie The Inn of The Sixth Happiness and I was really impressed). Well it didn´t turn out in either of those directions, considering that I in my adult life isn´t a member of any church or other religious organisation/group, my marriage is of the civil kind and neither of my children are baptized.

Uhm, hi everyone! I´ve been told this is a place to start (for the five required posts), so I´ll make an attempt. I´m here because I like to read and this place is full of great stories, and I´ve read my way through some of them already and discover new great writers and stories every day ... I guess I´ll never have to worry about running out of things to read. I try to write a review whenever I finish a story, knowing how much feedback and response means when you show your work out here (personal experience from a quite different area in the www) and that´s the reason I registered in the first place. My reviews sometimes (almost always) become long and wordy - but it´s that way or not at all.

Oh yes, I still love this story - and you ended this chapter with another mystery: Who is this other "Haze"? And more importantly where is he? Or what´s happened to him? Now I will be obsessing over this all night, or even until you post the next chapter ... mmm lovely, I like mysteries. The way this chapter started had me grinning - so typical Blake and yet so normally human - fuzzing over the phone. Is it normally human, right? Surely all of us have done it at one time or an other at some extent in our lives? (Or also I have more things in common with Blake than I like to confess). And then when the text comes all the earlier worry fades into nothing. Actually Blake´s obsessing and worrying and his inner monologues at those time is one of the high lights of this story (imo), it makes him human and likable. (Of course the budding romance is important as well, and enjoyable, but still ...) And the calm before the storm - it´s both literally and figuratively speaking, yes? The date, the snorkeling, the beauty of the water and the nice progress of their relationship are all emphasized by the hot extreme calm of the weather and Haze´s talk about a distant storm. Poor Haze and the devastatingly bad outcome from his first crush. His mother must be completely insane - how can anyone do such thing to their children? Doesn´t all parents first and foremost want to see their children happy? She must be sick! Maybe you will give us an explanation of some of her actions as well towards the end - right now i feel like doing something violent and illegal to the woman. And Blake in the closet (*snickers*) - he did the right thing getting out of there. I wonder how long he will have to wait for a reply to his text this time though.

This story brought out several kinds of feelings when I read it. As I´ve never read anything by you before so I didn´t really know what I should be expecting, but the first chapter had me interested and by the second I found it pretty difficult to quit reading (it was the feeling of `just one more chapter, I can make an other workday with less than little sleep`). The first part of this story reminded me of Torey Hayden´s books about traumatized children (and it must have been close to two decades or so since I read some those) and it just reminded me how much I used to like psychological mysteries like that, and then this came with a romantic touch to it, the better. This association had me totally off guard when the story changed, although I should have seen the signs (and looking back - I do see them) and it turned into some resemblance to slavefic and then further on to action/thriller. Chapter 16 (I think it was), in the warehouse, was a difficult to read chapter, and it´s content balanced very close to the limits of what I am capable of reading. And it clearly passed the limit of what I feel comfortable reading. Towards the end you almost had me crying (tears in my eyes definitely) when Silver meets David´s brother and they talk about David. The thought of loosing a child or a sibling like that ... *sobs*. All in all, this was an emotional read and something I really enjoyed and appreciated.

This was one sweet piece of romance. The classical tropes: the pretend boyfriend and forced bed sharing (and sometimes that´s exactly what a reader wants of a story) all executed with a lighthearted touch to it. As the reader one is never worried it will end badly, even though JJ doesn´t trust the signals he´s receiving from Michael. JJ´s insecurity, inexperience and youth is sweet and endearing, and Michael´s strength and dominance makes him cut for the role as the classical romance hero. This is the perfect choice for when one wants something that makes you feel good throughout the whole read and leaves you with a silly smile on your face. I just loved it.

This had me laughing: "Reading this and other chapters on the train could be hazardous to your health." I obviously don´t follow instructions and confess, I´ve read a majority of this story on the train to and from work. Only thing to think about was how to sit, making sure I had no other passengers right next to me, or standing behind me - it could have made the situation somewhat awkward - for them ... or maybe they would have wanted to read some more as well. Is that what you mean by "continue at your own discretion"? Anyhow - you have a nice flow in you writing that makes it easy to get into your stories and quickly get to know the setting and the characters. But you also have a way of writing that feels a little detached, and somehow I think this feeling corresponds well to Coopers character and his actions throughout the story. His behavior is, to say the least, upsetting. The way he treats the people he know/meet; Kyle, Riley and Spencer, trying to justify his actions the best he can (and that´s actually believable for an egocentric 18-year old, but still morally and responsibly wrong). The way he treats himself, the casual sex and the heavy drinking, and the combination of these two makes a really dangerous mix. The drinking issue is approached towards the end but I don´t feel it´s actually solved - one (!!) counseling meeting and that´s supposed to help??! ( And that Mitchell guy should be fired on spot, it´s lower than low to take advantage of someone in a situation of dependence, anyone working like that knows) He should also attend sex ed classes (plural, yes), last time I checked, f**king wasn´t the only way to contract a STD. For a story of which sex is such a huge part; the sex is nice, if you ignores what I wrote above about the upsetting part. In the first couple of chapters it felt like I´ve ended up with the script of a porno, the plot came later. Some of the sex was hot, the threesomes in particular (because Kyle was in on those, it was something they did together, no betrayal), and I normally don´t like more-somes so take it as the compliment it is,some of it was disturbing (Mitchell, Bryan, the John Doe and some of the hookups when Cooper was with Kyle didn´t feel right, not even after Kyle´s own betrayal was revealed). And all the words and expressions you´ve used for the male organ ... again you made me laugh over and over. Do you keep a little book or file on your computer where you write down ideas as you come up with them? The best part was when it all got emotional, after the break-up with Kyle. When Cooper brooding over his feeling for Kyle not knowing whether he wants him back or not, if he can be true to one person only, when he feels betrayed by Kyle going back to Rusty, when he gets pissed of at Spencer for sleeping with the ex - that´s when it gets truly interesting and difficult to stop reading.

Oh, the way this chapter ended you can have the whole story end like a classical Greek tragedy. The build-up with the threat of Billy´s father and Elder´s sometimes too anxious temper, and all the talk about David only staying for two more months. I wouldn´t be surprised if there are casualties before the story is finished, at least you could do it that way if you want to, but I suspect a lot of readers would get really disappointed so I think you will actually go with a happy end. Anyway, I read all of the 15 chapters over the last couple of days, so here comes a summary of the reading so far: The rural setting is nicely described and it´s easy to picture the farm and stables, the barn and so on while reading. And I really like the slow build-up - that´s how I like my romances. A quick introduction of the love interest(s) and then long, hard (no pun intended ) way getting there, and this you do just nicely. The main characters are sweet and likable, both of them in their own way, but it´s the sub-characters that really have me going, especially the bad ones. Not being a native speaker I´m not sure whether Candy´s name gives the same connotations it does for me, but her name alone have me thinking of just what kind of girl she is even before you start describing her, and it´s not the kind I think very highly of. But it´s Billy´s parents that deserves the most attention. Mr Templeton is a horrible man, and the more I read the more horrible he becomes. He´s this story´s villain and what seems like a quickly growing threat to Billy´s safety, happiness and future. But what really upsets me while I´m reading is the mother! How is Annie able to stay with a man that apparently is no good for her children? He has driven one child away already and is severely damaging the younger. Surely she is picking up on this, or she wouldn´t try meddling between her son and her husband or try to ease the boys workload when it´s apparent it´s too heavy. How she can have any love left for him is a mystery to me. Even if her reasons for staying are important and believable, and I hope there are reasons to explain her behavior, I will find it hard to forgive her. I´m not sure about the custom here. Most reviews are short, and it´s understandable when you give a review after each chapter (so just split this with 15) and I´ve never really seen any critical ones. But is it OK to come with constructive criticism as well? I duck my head and prepare being hit hard if it´s not allowed/appreciated, but there are two things (And both are minor) that disturbed my reading. The first is from the first chapter. When I began reading the first paragraph it started of like it was David´s inner monologue, and then in the second paragraph, he introduced himself to the reader "My name is David Bailey ...". This kind of sentences can have me stop reading right away. I would have preferred no introduction, and it is in fact not necessary. A few paragraphs further down Billy asks: "Are you Davis Bailey?" and the reader finds out anyway, in more natural circumstances. The second is the shifting POV, not Billy´s and David´s, but the short and few told from Annie´s and Sam´s POV. There are other ways to get the unnecessary information to the reader. See, nothing major and you can just ignore it if you don´t like it. Anyway, all in all, its a nice read. And I will look into some of your other stories as well when I get the time, and of course I will await this story´s next chapter. And I do like happy ends, I´m just not sure how it will work out for these boys.

OK, this was interesting and a little weird to read. And I don´t know exactly what to think after I´ve just finished it a couple of minutes ago. I´ll start like this: I like your way of writing, your style is a little rough (I have a better word for it in my own language but can´t find the English one or a suitable translation for it) and quite a bit humorous, the metaphors you use and your way of naming things, well it´s fun to read ... although the story itself is of a more serious kind. You take off with social realism, then continues with a "Stockholm syndrome"-kind of love story, which later turns to something almost like partners in crime, because I got the feeling Tyler had Travis set up when Wade came over to the trailer (only I was proved wrong when Tyler came back) and even after the last line in chapter 15 I´m not entirely sure what to think. Many questions remains. What will happen to Travis? He is clearly an emotionally damaged person and he must have been that even before he met Tyler, and his encounter with Tyler sure hasn´t made anything better for him. And how will he continue his life, with the life of two people on his conscience? And what with Tyler, what made him what he is(was, considering his dead now)? But I liked the story. I liked that it didn´t have a happy end, that the characters were emotionally damaged and engaged in a number of unhealthy relationships, and I liked that it wasnt´clear until the very end where this story went. And when I started this review with the words interesting and weird I never meant it in a negative way, the contrary actually. I´ve been reading romance with HEA for a long time and this was a nice change. Keep up the good writing.

I bookmarked your story on my computer a couple of weeks ago when I first discovered GA, with the thought I would read it when it was complete. Then this Monday evening I was browsing through my story-bookmarks, test-reading the beginnings of different stories, and I really wasn´t supposed to read your story, I only wanted a little sneak peak, to see what I had to look forward to. Well, it only took a couple of paragraphs and I was completely hooked. This story is brilliant, and I´m totally in love with it. I liked how you introduced Blake in the very first chapter, not giving away too much information but leaving me with the feeling of wanting to know more about him and his situation. Your description of Blake as well as of the minor characters, including the female taxi-driver, and further into the story the co-workers and Mrs Herrington feels, to me, genuine and believable. And quite a few of them are most intriguing, making it hard to stop reading. The language is easy-flowing and easy understandable (important for me as English isn´t my first language) and I appreciated the explanation of BC at the end of one of the chapters. Though I must confess I´m a little hesitant about the use of variations of "the blue-eyed boy" and "blue orbs" . And the pacing, I really like the pacing of this story, no unnecessary hurry and no unnecessary scenes. The rotation between outer action and inner dialogue is well performed and even though you give the reader heaps of information about diving as well as Blake´s psychological problems, his self-help methods and medications I read it without any feeling of being thought or lectured. It just feels like a natural integrated part of the story´s progress, and I feel as if I get to know more about things I didn´t know much about before I started reading. Then there are the moments of relating to Blake´s experiences and thoughts. I especially liked Blake´s description of why he don´t like the "beer hall" setting. Being a somewhat social awkward person myself (though not of Blake´s proportions) I can only agree with him - it is easy to be left out when seated like that. The subject itself - mental health (can you say that without sounding rude? sorry if it´s not an appropriate expression to use) - is also something I can relate to, again not like the main character, but living with a person struggling with depression the story gives me something I can relate to. Health problems of this kind is not something you talk openly about most of the time, but if you do it soon becomes apparent it is more common than one could ever have imagined. Maybe Blake´s many short-coming, his weirdness, his insecurity, is why I like him so much. I actually thought I would tire of him, but so far I haven´t, and I doubt i will. He´s not your average main character and that´s refreshing to read. Haze having his own problems adds to that uniqueness as well in my opinion. Then there are the thrillingly exciting parts like chapter 17, when I was literally going "oh, no, no, no!", and the growing sexual/emotional tension between Blake and Haze and how that, now that I´ve finished the 20 chapters, is bound to create more complications than it has solved (that´s what i think , and that´s how I like it) what with Patty and Haze´s mother. Hmm, I just wanted to express my liking for your story, but it turned out more like a love declaration. I feel like apologizing for this wordy review, but then I probably would sound like Blake, so I don´t. Anyway, great story and great writing. And now I just have to patiently wait for the rest of the story ... hopefully you can find the time and inspiration to continue writing, despite health and work issues.