sorgbarn

Wonderful from beginning to end. I think I liked everything about this short story from the young tone of voice telling the story to the tellings about his coming out and the events taking place, as well as the sub-characters described. As the reader it´s hard not to like the main character, and the way he is acing (or almost freaking out) when he realizes he might actually be able to get all he has ever dreamed about feels genuine, it one thing to fantasize and imagine how one´s first love should be, and it´s an entirely different thing when it becomes reality. The boy´s worry corresponds well with his young age. It was a great read, thanks for writing!

So he never told Max he got injured? I think he should have, it would have solved a lot of problems (that is if Max is also Mr. too close). It´s nice to finally see that Percy has some (one?) friend. Rocket is definitely growing as a character (at least on me), but somehow I had imagined her a little older. Why is everyone in their twenties? It´s just not fair! As for what I think about Percy’s new dilemma: well, I do like Mr. Too Close a lot, but Percy really should focus on what´s important. And chasing after random men, Mr. Too Close, whom he only ever has met accidentally by being bumped into and rescued after an accident while being more or less unconscious isn´t. He really has no idea whether Too Close is even gay, if he´s single or what. The way he reacted when Rocket mentioned how he could have had Max over while he recovered ought to be a big clue for him as to how he should prioritize. But then again this is fiction and in the best of worlds his two men are one and the same. Also – Merry Christmas (and a Happy New Year)! Since I doubt you will manage another chapter before the weekend. And even if you could, you shouldn´t.

Oh, Rocket is sweet in this chapter, being a true friend, and pulling Percy out of his own shell, or maybe I should say closet. Well done by her, and good for Percy. And as you already know, I like it a lot when you are stalling things. Sure I want to know what´s in the box, but right now it´s not a main concern of mine. I´m much more interested about whatever message he might have from Max, and what it might say. And I do hope he goes along with his earlier plan to ask Max about a real life meeting. This chapter also brought us Mr. Too Close, yay! He´s … lovely. For Percy´s (and my) sake I hope he is identical with Max and that we´ll see a lot more of him. Also, I understand you are having some personal issues, I´m so sorry to hear that (it´s weird how you can feel concerned about someone you only know through their text and who is practically a total stranger to you, but you can) and you really shouldn´t worry about posting on time or writing but instead focus on whatever is important at the moment. Whatever it is I hope it is mendable in some way or other. Take care.

I kind of love you for protracting , and for introducing new environments as well as new characters. But hasn´t Percy changed from a kind of bad boy to a good boy in what seems like a very short period of time? If he did slip up, it would be understandable, and of course complicate things further, especially if it turned out Rusty is Max. They would both have a lot of explaining to do. And it´s not too late yet, Percy hasn´t left Twizted, or he could always come back. I also liked the metaphor you used with food and sex (the two belong together, right?) in the paragraph beginning with the perfect porno and ending with “… starving for Max.” What bothered me in this chapter is how lonely Percy seems to be. Doesn´t he have any friends? Anyone with whom he can be who he really is and confide in? It´s quite sad. As far as I´m concerned you can protract all you want. But I do wonder about Mr. Too Close. What´s happened to him?

OMG: was my spontaneous response when I read your post. It made me laugh a lot. All of what you´re saying is so very true, but, as I believe some one mentioned in the replies, you forgot the extreme physical beauty with the characters, unless they are villains of course. But you have to remember there´s a difference between genre fiction and literary fiction (I have read Proust, though not the other author you mentioned). What you read on-line, here and on other sites as well is almost always genre fiction: gay romance, gay high school romance and any sub-genre to romance depending on where you set the story and what age you make the characters. Genre fiction attracts readers partly because they know what they are getting and that includes the things you´ve pointed out. Romances are nothing but fantasies hence the wealthy protagonist (don´t we all wish we had some more money?),the youth (everyone wants to live to be old, but we don´t want floppy bellies, wrinkled skin and graying hairs), the hot sex (it was a fantasy, right? you don´t have erection issues or size issues or performance anxiety in those and some of the romance borderlines erotica, and even crosses it now and then, and that has its own purpose). Maybe some of the authors are middle-aged men obsessed with under-aged sex, but personally I think they are middle-aged men mourning their youth, trying to relive and enhance what once was, or what they wish had been. I have very little problem with teen-aged sex and I´ve come to think that your view on the issue is partly cultural. What does the law of your country say regarding sexual activities? What does your culture say is a proper age of having sex? Where I come from the age of consent is 15, it has definitely had an impact on how I view the issue. I have however come across on-line fiction where the characters are so young they most likely haven´t or have just started puberty, and that on the other hand is as you say creepy. It never fails to make me really uncomfortable. I´d like to read more realistic stories as well, where the characters come in all sizes and all colors and from every thinkable socio-economic level in society, where the relationships are genuinely depicted both emotionally and sexually, both are something you have t learn, especially when you are young, maybe a teenager, but also when you´re older. As for the writers, most of them are amateurs, doing this because they enjoy it. I don´t think they are aiming for the Nobel Prize in literature. I get the impression you think people read (and write) on-line fiction at the expense of more literary authors. Many pupils and students today find it hard to write texts longer than a text message on their phone(not to mention writing anything their own), if they would read on-line fiction and get inspired to start writing I think that is wonderful - they need all the practice they can get. And there doesn´t have to be an unbreakable concrete wall between genre reading and literary reading. For some readers genre reading can be an inspiration and a gate way to more advanced literature. I had a good time reading your post and many of the replies. Thanks!

That tea calendar of yours actually makes me feel a little bit envious. I wonder if I can make some hints about it here in my house, for next year maybe. It really is a brilliant idea, and you could use it with other items/things as well. I also like the idea of making up your own traditions. It´s almost necessary if/when you meet someone you want to share your life with. They come with their set of traditions and you have yours. We bake too, saffron buns for Lucia (December 13th), gingerbread and different sorts of Christmas candy, depending on as you say how much time we have. An other thing we do, closer to the 24th is we stay up late one evening (because the children must be asleep) and put together rhyming verses (not sure what English word to use here) for the Christmas gifts. It´s a lot of fun. And everyone wants verses with their gifts. It´s become a new tradition here.

Your calendar with different sorts of teas sounds wonderful. I had a calendar my grandmother made for me when I was little, and my mother wrapped little gifts for it each year. My oldest daughter got one made by my aunt when we had a celebration for her when she was a baby. And until my third child was two I made gifts for them to hang in their calendars every year, but the last three years we have settled for store bought chocolate calendars. 3x24 gifts just wasn´t manageable anymore. Instead we changed the tradition with a gift calendar to advent gifts. So now they each receive a little gift every advent Sunday before Christmas. The gifts all hang on one of the old homemade calendars, and the 'soon to be five year old is especially expectant, asking if I know what´s inside and so on. Christmas is a lot about traditions and expectations, whether your a grown up or a child.

What a nice surprise - a new chapter. Perfect to read with the after dinner coffee. Thank you! This chapter gave some more background on Percy (which I like, the whole thing why people act the way they do seems to interest me in fiction as well as in real life) . It was interesting meeting his mother, and Percy´s reflection on his upbringing and his family´s or maybe more particular his mother´s view (or maybe we should talk about a non-view, as they have never really spoken about it) on homosexuality explains a little why he´s still in the closet. But really he´s assuming things here, and he should talk about it. Maybe she will understand, maybe not, but unless he says something he will never know. Initially when the chapter started I got a bit upset, what an intrusive mother meddling in her grown son´s life like that, and her comment "you´re not getting any younger" unacceptable and very mother-like (my mother talks to me like that, well not that exact phrase but close enough). And the match making efforts - blah! But she´s probably just concerned about him, no mother wants to see her children alone or, even worse, lonely. So then the more reason to tell her the truth. Percy´s view on women seems to have changed/softened some since the start of the story as well. He is no longer willing to use them to satisfy his needs? Well, that is progress. I agree with Lisa, I´m not much for tattoos, but this one appears to be kind of creative, and I liked the idea of fingertips in rainbow colors on his hip - yeah, nice. With all this new info what´s in the package no longer has the same importance, though I could feel Percy´s disappointment both in the beginning of the chapter, (the best laid schemes and all) and towards the end when nothing happened because it was too late.

Harharhar ... so you think you´re funny now? Leaving us just like that? And you want us guessing what´s in the package? Is that some kind of trick to find out what kind of readers you have? (You know, when the answer says more about the one answering the question than anything else.) But OK, I´ll be a really good girl and do as I´m told. It takes some thinking ... hmmm ... it´s heavy, and it seems to roll around inside the box (you never mentioned the measurements, it would have helped I´m sure). All the things I think about comes tightly secured inside its box. I was going to say ben wa balls (just to tease and because they roll ), but nah ... it´s more a lady´s thing. So maybe he can have something from njoy (I was going to insert a link here but I´m not sure I´m allowed to do that, so unless you know what they look like, you have to google njoytoys), they look kind of heavy, and stylish enough so he don´t have to hide it when not using it, and not to forget - easy to clean. But then again, maybe it´s a movie, or a naughty book - and some pictures of Max. But probably it´s something entirely different. And I probably shouldn´t add this review, which actually isn´t a real review at all, just a lot of ... I don´t know what, but here we go anyway. Enjoy!

I read this over at Awesomedude, but think it´s easier to comment on it here. First of all I want to say thank you for writing and posting this story, it was an interesting, lovely and thought-provoking read. It starts out just like any high school romance, a shy somewhat uncertain main character meets this special someone and everything changes for them both. As a reader you know, if you´ve read the summary what´s about to happen, but you chose to go slow - I like that. I don´t like rushed story-telling. You have their secret relationship established first, presents a few threats, make them incredibly happy despite the threats and then the accident happens. That´s a great build up in my opinion. Your descriptions of the accident, the first treatments in the emergency, and everything that follows makes for an excruciating read. And when the police came to question Aaron the suspense rose even more. Every little thing that happens in the story helps to raise the suspense in the same way, and you do it all the time. Just when I believe there is no more to the story, all problems solved one way or an other, a new threat or challenge occurs - and that what´s really holds my interest and keep me reading. In the end it becomes a story I find it hard to even pause from. And the thought-provoking bit? Well, I don´t know much (or anything) about spinal chord injuries: how it affects people, how they can manage their lives, or what effort it takes to come back to something resembling the life they had before. While reading this story I´m struck by how little I know, and I find your story incredibly informative. I´ve learned so much I had no idea of earlier, even though this is just fiction I get a hint of what problems can occur for people disabled like this. You give a very matter of fact picture of Brian´s condition, not avoiding the more embarrassing or difficult issues. I had a great reading experience (it´s a love story that makes my heart melt after all), and felt as if I learned something along the way. Thank you!

Yes, I noticed how you´re letting the weather reflect the emotions of Percy in the introduction of this chapter - very classic. Happy mood - warm sunshine, disappointment - thunderstorm approaching. Was it deliberate? I really liked the short appearance from Mr. Too Close (whom I still believe or hope is the same as Max, or maybe his identical twin-brother ... which could make for yet another confusion) and I want more of him. And it was quite a good view Percy got of him jogging by. Keep him conflicted about the two (?) men in his life, it makes an interesting read. Don´t want to make things too easy for him ... or do you? In the earlier chapters I´ve really enjoyed the little recognizable things, but in this chapter everything is new to me. The whole computer sex thing is completely unknown chapters in my book, but never the less it was sweet and ... definitely safe. "... love ya!" That´s moving fast, isn´t it? To say something like that to someone you´ve only known ... how long? Never met or even heard each other´s voices. And it makes me really curious about Max and what kind of person he is. Yeah, there´s a lot more I want answered so I´ll definitely keep reading.

I know you´re 'retired' and probably never will read this. I still want to say something. As I was looking for something short to read and found this and you when going through the authors list on my 'something short to read' -hunt. I liked the light-heartedness of this piece, it also has a very slashy feel to it (and that´s how I seriously started reading m/m and gay fiction and I appreciate the style). And the last sentence about looking for binoculars had me laughing out laud.

I managed to refrain from peeking in advance at the last chapter ( I tend to do that when reading published/printed stories , but for some reason find it much harder doing while reading online) . But I´m really glad the end was happy. The start had me more than a bit worried. Altogether this was a delightful read, with just the proper dosage of angst, and equally proper dosages of suspense and romance. For a moment I almost thought Ash would kill himself (and I let out a relieved breath when he wrote it wasn´t a suicide note) or unintentionally cause his own death after running away from Josh´s house. So yes, I´m so pleased it was a story with a happy end. Ash´s father coming around as well - that was another relieve. He proved to be a decent, warm and loving man when it came around, and not the bigot he seemed to be at first. The way he expressed his pride for his son and his son´s art was great - I hope he will repeat it once Ash is well enough to remember it. I also hope the principal comes to apologize (I know this is a complete story, but in my mind even the finished stories tend to continue on their own).

What a promising start these first two chapters are. You hooked me from the first sentence with the argument between the principal (was it?) and Josh. And the way ch. 2 ended. Both Josh and Ash are likable and interesting characters, and I liked the description of a teachers view on a truly gifted student. It´s rare, but when it happens, when you find someone that share your passion for your subject it gives you something extra, you don´t really talk about it, but I can understand the interest, intellectually, he shows Ash. And how that is misinterpreted by others. An other charming detail in the second chapter is Ash thoughts on love. Is it possible to love a mind? What an interesting thought, and one not so easy to answer, especially not when you are still young, or in a world so focused on youth and looks for that matter. This whole setup has gotten me a little worried, not sure what to come in the next chapters. And the way you ended this chapter certainly didn´t make that worry any less. I feel tempted to peek through the last chapter,just to be prepared. But it´s cheating isn´t it? Wish I could continue reading, but it´sway to late as it is already.

Actually, no, I didn´t get it wrong, I just didn´t make it clear enough. Her letters were kept locked up for many years (50) after her death, some kind of stipulation of her will, or possibly on request by her remaining relatives. So she was definitely in the closet during her lifetime, even though there probably were rumors. When the letters became public (1990) they changed the way she had earlier been looked at. For instance the men (well 1940 they were men!) writing about literature could wonder how she wrote so vividly and believable about love when she was nothing but an old spinster. Little did they know! And no, no gay or lesbian characters in her novels (at least not those I´ve read) - unobtainable (and forbidden) love is a recurring theme though. I guess it would have been social and professional suicide if she had, not to mention dangerous for her. Same sex sex was illegal in Sweden til 1944, later you "only" risked mental asylum. The literary period during which her first novel was published is in Scandinavia called national romance (I don´t think it has an international parallel). It´s a period of nationalistic romance writing and a response to the realistic period preceding it. Her novels are set in the countryside, has elements of supernatural (ghosts, visions etc.) and often characterizing common people/farmers/villagers. She is also known for renewing children´s schoolbooks with her narrative geography book about a boy called Nils, travelling across Sweden on the back of a wild goose. Not quite The Lord of The Rings .

Yeah, I´m a teacher (senior high school level would be the best comparison I think). And no, she wouldn´t be the only example of an author who´s personal life contributes to her or his writing, neither do I bring up authors´ personal life as the only influence on their work, the society at the time along with literary patterns for the era are equally important for understanding an author. I think Lagerlöf and other gay persons, contemporary or historical, can serve as important role models, giving historical roots to now living. In Lagerlöf´s case as woman and lesbian: she lived a an nontraditional life in a period when women really didn´t have that many options - and she did it extremely successfully.

If our knowledge of homosexual men in history are rare, I believe our knowledge of homosexual women are even rarer and even less documented (correct me if I´m wrong here). As you have already started mentioning specific persons ,I would like to continue with the Swedish author Selma Lagerlöf (1858-1940). She was the first woman to receive the Nobel prize (1909) and was well known not only in Sweden but internationally as well, not the least with her contribution to silent film era, many of her novels and short-stories were adapted for the screen, and in a period when spoken language in film was no issue, her films were seen abroad as well. Up until 1990 public image of her was the one of a talented but never the less harmless fairy tale lady: educated teacher, never married, slightly limp etc. In 1990 her private corresponding were made public, and revealed a close and emotionally (physically?) intimate relationship with two other women, of which one lasted almost 40 years. Lagerlöf often had Sophie Elkan come with her on her many travels abroad, and Valborg Olander often assisted her in her writing as well as in more every day tasks. in the letters you can see a clear rivalry between the two women, and Lagerlöf trying to please the two of them: pleads and love assurances showing in some of the letters. I usually mention her private relations when talking about her in class, lifting the question how it might have affected her writing (hopeless or forbidden love a recurring theme in her novels). My question to you - is that the right way to go about it, or shouldn´t it matter and therefore not be mentioned?

You have got many wise an insightful answers above, clearly stating that depression is not self-pity, but actually an illness. I completely agree. Depression is an illness that is clinically diagnosable just as Zolia Lily says. I´m on the other side of the fence so to say - I´m living with a person diagnosed with depression since more than a year back, and he´s medicating for it. Before he got his diagnosis we didn´t realize what was happening (a friend pointed us in the right direction and had him seek medical help) and it was destroying his life, of course, but also mine and our children´s. When he started medicating things became slowly, slowly better again. Mark92, you´re saying you don´t want to medicate, and I respect that, and I know there are self-help/coping methods to use, I just want to state: sometimes it´s not enough, sometimes medicines are necessary - and please don´t let anyone make it into a question of one thing being better than the other. My husband has stopped medicating for periods, because they make him emotionally numb (not to mention all the other disadvantages they have) and it works for a short period of time, and them like out of the blue it changes again. It´s quite frightening when I leave for work in the morning saying good bay to the person I love, and when I come home in the evening he´s gone and replaced by some one else, some one I don´t know. So I guess he is in for some long-term medicating, because frankly, without it we can´t live together, and our children will be hurt by his temper outbursts, lack of patience and so on. In hubby´s case I believe it´s at least partly genetically caused, alcoholism (self-medication!?) and diagnosed depression runs in his family on his mother´s side. If you can manage without medication - good for you - if not, it´s not making you a lesser person.

Oh, great a somewhat longer chapter than the last one, which gives me a better chance to get into the story and get to know the characters. It is a comedy you´re writing? Because you´ve had me laughing before in chapter one and two, as you´ve had in this one. Percy´s reaction to Max´s invitation to dinner and a movie - time to shower and shave made me grin. It was such a cute and unexpected behavior from a man in his professional position as well as in his age, and also non-conforming with the revelations about his sex-life. An other fun part was the discussion about the actors, grey pubes and Sean Connery. *snickers* I can only agree. Percy is kind of a cute character, but his views on sex is not. The way he uses those women (socialites or not) to satisfy his needs, cold and cynical, and objectifying. (He might be treating the men the same way, but it doesn´t show all that well in this chapter) But I guess he will change, I get the impression the connection his experiencing with Max makes him want something more. This chapter answered several of the questions I´ve had and gave a little more background to Percy´s character. Nice. Now I have an idea about what motivates him and who he is at work and in private. Now I want to see him grow and change.

That was one lousy excuse for finishing their chat meet! First "Max" is pushing it a bit what with the no personal information and all, and then he abruptly changes his mind with a very transparent excuse indeed. But it leaves me with more questions I want answered. Why is Percy so determined to stay anonymous and in the closet? I got the impression from ch. 1 that he´s living in a bigger city (and where I come from it would be one with a hundred thousands inhabitants or more), hence no small town pressure or gossiping ... Which leads me to my next question: how old is he? Again I´ve been picturing (it´s a veritable movie going on in my mind when I´m reading ) someone closer to or past his thirties, rather than his twenties, based on his professional position (and yes you can laugh if I got it all wrong and point me in what direction, or what part of the story, to look in order to get more correct image of the main character) and with age should come confidence with whom you are, so I´m definitely curious about what his reasons for hiding is. The recognizable details, like the line in the coffee place in the first chapter, and Percy´s thoughts about getting himself an anonymous email account makes this a fun read. Even his hesitation, or maybe it´s more fear of being recognized on line at a site he wants no connection to in his real official life. Is there anyone who has never been there, done that? And I want more of Mr. Too Close, and I think he might have a username on a site called Spuzzyboys.com ... because this is fiction and nothing ever happens by coincident there. And it could be fun if he had, and if he doesn´t, well it can still be fun.

Well, you have my attention now. I´d love to read more of this. Since I´ve never read anything from you before I don´t know what or how you usually write, but I liked the in medias res beginning with the coffee place, the waiting in line, the person behind standing too close - it´s a familiar situation easy to relate to, and also you don´t give away too much information about the characters too soon, leaving me with questions I want answered. And you had me laughing more than once. I started reading without checking the tags, but based on the content of this first chapter - I´m expecting romance (it has classic romance build-up written all over it) and I´m expecting to meet Mr Too Close again. And what about MaxTheMagnificent? Yes, I will definitely continue reading this. (But why did did Rocket have to replace the purple shirt with a light gray one? What´s wrong with a little color?)

Things I liked about this story: Roommates,Alex and Zach sharing the flat, it´s a college classic, right?! The forced bed sharing back at Alex´s childhood home after the accident, another classic trope (well the bed sharing not the accident). Zach´s character and personality including his feelings of uncertainty and extreme self consciousness. He´s a sweetheart, and Alex is amazing for always being there for him, doing the right thing. The unconditionally loving and supportive family of Alex, his father and Jason in particular are awesome. It´s great to see positively pictured families; they can work as role models. Yay! (And not so 'yay' for Zach´s family, I´m not even sure I would like to call it a family, `cause that´s not how you act when you are part of one . How anyone can treat their children like that practically horrifies me, especially when I look at my own and think that the only thing I wish for them is for them to grow up happy no matter what.) I also liked the switches between present and past. I liked how you started the story with the accident and then turned back and gave the background. And the flashbacks of the masquerade and Zach´s childhood memories. The, for the latter part of the story, constantly ongoing sexual banter and the sexually awkward moments were amusing and fun. But where did Cindy learn so much about anal sex? (And yes, I guess she might have tried it herself, trial and error method, or had she made her research with help from Google, or had she been reading her slashy fanfic real thoroughly? I doubt she had gained her knowledge from sex ed classes. But what do I know, is been ages since I was that young.)

Wow! This was amazing! The way this story started, with Jake´s hand, drew me in right away, and then you turned back in time and gave the reader the background story. A while into the story that scene with Jake´s hand returned and then a similar scene fourteen years later - brilliant! And all along there was this subtle sad tone about the path not taken, a tone that increased when the story continued fourteen years later, and, to me at least, turned into something ominous, luring in the background when they restarted their friendship. The way the characters are drawn, truly like real people and not just fictional characters are not something I come by a lot - fictional characters are after all just fictional, but here it´s something else. The relations between Robbie and his ex wife, between him and his children and between him and Jake are not only believable, but also realistic and very enjoyable to read. The language has a nice flow and style to it, and during the love scenes (and yes, I say love and not sex because that how what it feels like to me) it becomes sensual and erotic. When the story reaches it´s turning point, during the hike Robbie forces Jake to participate in the ominous feeling and darker undertone subsides, and some of the plot drive decreases. The story from a storytelling POV might have benefited from a sooner end, but I am glad that I could read all the way to the happy end, satisfied to know they lived happily ever after. And it was not even a fairy tale but a realistic drama with a genuine feeling of authenticity.

It was the summary that had me start reading it " a written feel-good-movie about romance ...". And it was indeed a sweet story. I especially enjoyed Leon, and particularly the uncertain crushing Leon in the earlier chapters. Some of the expressions you used "Another bad hair day, bad body day, bad room day, bad roommate day. When it rains, it pours." and "Think of Mom in swim wear, flowers, little kittens, ‘Every function, which is holomorphic on the entire complex plane and is bounded, is constant./.../ At least, now I was sure that I knew most mathematical theorems by heart." And many more like these had me smiling and laughing a lot throughout this read. The other characters were equally nice. The elderly couple they met on their Hawaii trip, as for the couple that was in an open relationship and the support of Kev´s team mates. Even Kev´s mother and grand father came around eventually - thank god, finally a mother who can chose her child´s happiness above a stubborn, bigoted husband (his loss). And Brittany with her x-rated inner movies playing in her head - she´s a minor sub-character to remember. My only complaint is why did you have to make Kev a body builder? (Although I guess it fit the story plot.)I had a hard time picturing him while reading, ´cause frankly it´s not a favorite body type of mine. (sorry if you´re a body builder yourself .. I´m well aware we all have different preferences )

Oh, I´ve finished it. What an amazing read it was. Every chapter presenting new clues and new twists and turns, I never really knew what to expect. When you had me convinced that Ben´s feeling of being followed was just his imagination, a result of his tragic past and the first attack, then you actually have Will kidnapping Ben. My heart has been aching for Ben throughout this story, his past as well as his present (and probably his future as well) is unfairly hard ad filled with trauma. Luckily Rick passes his way. And Rick definitely is a great man, few I think, would have the patience and unerring love to someone with as much problems as Ben has. After all they hardly know each other when Ben gets hurt in the attack. Then again If Ben hadn´t been hurt he would never had let Rick in his life or at least no shown him his own self. I wish I could see/read about their future wedding. A little different than this one? I sounded as if Ben wasn´t overly delighted about the setting - maybe something smaller? In a different environment, in the city, or maybe by the sea ... hmm.