Bev

Huggles Luc.

Bev

Heya Dom! Sybil is a Telemovie based on a true life story..(at least that's what the producers claim). The lead character, Sybil Dorsett, played by Sally Field has a multiple personality disorder and her psychiatrist, played by Joanne Woodward helps her. poor Sybil had 16 of different personalities! Hope this helps...or not...whatever the case may be Bev

Happy Birthday Luigi!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever. After all, you are 21 with only one years internship to go Bev

Dear Lib...here is my song just for you. Please try and imagine that I am singing it in tune...'cos I will try to imagine that too... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOCTOR MI-IKE, HAPPY BIRTHDAAAY TOOOO YOOOOO! Bev

I've never studied dream analysis but I always thought that your dreams were you subconsious talking to you and trying to put into place all the things that happen in your life. Mind you, I've had weird dreams...like I was chased down the street by a friend who was flying a blue and white airplane. Every time I ducked between buildings and houses, he would follow me. And then there was a horrible dream/nightmare about big dogs getting their throats cut (eww), but the strangest dream I ever had (that I can remember) was about my black and white cat that I had at the time. Although in real life she was desexed, in the dream she gave birth to a white puppy. In that dream, we had a white dog at the time but in real life, we had a black and tan dog. Val, if I was going to analyse your dreams, I would venture a guess that they were connected to the traumatic and stressful events that seem to be in your life at the moment. And that what you think was going to happen one way, it changes before your very eyes e.g. the date turning into a machine. And in the dream when you are slaying the vampires, it says to me that you are trying to control things around you and live your life best way that you can, even if it seems unconventional at the time. But then again..you could have eaten some bad cheese before you went to bed Bev

Thank you everyone, for your birthday greetings! They mean more to me, than you will ever know. I did have a lovely day. My family took me out to lunch and I was given some lovely gifts, including an opal necklace, a plush puppy, a beautiful bunch of roses and a kitten. That's right, a living breathing kitten. He was rescued from the RSPCA My last cat died on my birthday last year and this year on my birthday, I got a new one. He is four months old and we have named him Mackie, short for Macciato - one of my sons is a barrista. Although he gets called Scratchy Scratchy McMackie or MC Scratchy, and he answers to anything at the moment. I think he is just pleased to have a home. This puppy sits on top of my computer and his tummy has a message that reads "I lub my mum". So all in all, I had a great birthday. Bev

Hope you have the bestest birthday and an even better year to follow! Have a great day sweetie!

Chaz From what you wrote, Green was truly loved...but so are you. And for Green's mum to sneak you in to icu, so you could see him one last time, shows how much respect she had for the relationship you had with her son and how much love she has for you. She risked being ejected from the hospital and forced away from Green for you, and that is a demonstration of how much she cares for you. I just wanted to remind you how special you are to Green's family. Chaz, I also understand the need you have to get away and spend some time putting your life back into some form of perspective. It might take a while, so just keep breathing and remember that all you can do is take one step at a time. Come back to GA when you are ready and you will always be welcome here...we are your family too. Bev

Chaz... There is so much I want to say... Just like everyone here, I am still in shock about Green. And just like everyone here, my heart and thoughts are with you. Chaz, I want you to remember that you are loved and wanted and needed here. And you are loved and wanted and needed by your family and your friends and you are loved and wanted and needed by Greens family and his friends. Life is so unfair at times. There is nothing more to say about it than it is unfair. If it was fair, you and Green would have gotten married and had a tribe of kids and grown old together...and as Michael said, holding hands when you are 90 and rocking on the front porch of the nursing home. Even though Green is gone, the love you have for him will always be there. And that's a good thing. You may not believe it right now, but there are gonna be days where you will be able to go on and live your life knowing that Green is there, in your heart...and then, there are days where you wont even be able to get out of bed in the morning, because all you have of Green is in your heart. Chaz, anyone could see the love that you had for Green. And it was a love that is rare. Very few people ever get close to the love that you and Green had. You loved him unreservedly and unconditionally and he was more than blessed to have had you in his life. He knew that the way that you felt about him was rare and special and believe me, he treasured it...And he treasured you too. Green, may not have always been able to show you that he loved you unreservedly and unconditionally but he did. You made his life worthwhile and he knew it...everyone who had any contact with Green, knew how much you meant to him. I know life at the moment varies between swimming through cement and spinning out of control. And all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and try to keep yourself in one piece. The next few weeks and months are gonna be difficult for you (and God...difficult is the understatement of the century) but the most important thing you need to do, is to keep talking and reaching out. And reaching out may be the last thing you want to do...but you need to talk about how you feel. There are heaps of people who are more than willing to listen to you. If you want to talk...please feel free to talk, even if you think you are repeating yourself infinitum. If you need to scream...then scream. If you need to swear...then swear. If you need to cry...then cry. If you need to be silent....then be silent, but don't do it alone... Find someone to talk to, someone who will listen, someone who will offer their shoulder when you need one, and someone who will be quiet with you when you want to be quiet. And remember all those good times you had with Green...they will keep you warm over the cold months ahead. Talk to any one of us Chaz...please don't cut yourself off from us. My email is beeceesplace@yahoo.com.au or beeceesplace@hotmail.com for a chat on msn...you can talk to may anytime sweetie. Bev

I'm so sorry Chaz.

Chaz...I am so sorry about all of this. You are right, Green doesn't deserve this and you don't deserve this either. You must feel like you are living your worst nightmare, right now. I wish I had something to say to make you feel better right now...or to give you some hope. But I know there is nothing I can say or do that will make any difference to how you are feeling. Please remember that you are loved by us all. Bev

My thoughts and prayers are with you Chaz as with Green and David. Try to be strong and even though you don't feel like it at the moment, remember to rest and look after yourself as much as you can. When Green comes out of this, he will need you there to support him. Bev

Dear Chaz and Green First thing I want to say is congratulations on your engagement!!!! Guys, I want to wish you both all the best, for your future life together. Chaz and Green, you know what a relationship is all about...that it isn't all about moonlight and roses and that sometimes life will try to throw one of you off balance, but you also know that your husband will always be there to hold you up until you are able to get a surer footing. Everyone will miss you around here...reading all your adventures and being part of the ride. But we also understand that you are going to take time for yourselves....to take the ride together, alone. I remember once Chaz, you asked why Green always wrote his name in captials. I still don't know...but when both of your names are equal in size and both capitals, it shows to me that you are now equals. No one is better or more important in your relationship than the other. And that is how it should be! If you decide to occasionally drop us a line, to let us know how you are going, that would be better than great. Bev

Chaz I am speechless after reading your entry...It was beautiful. The only thing that I can think of to say is to quote something that I read by Lao Tzu that sort of sums up what I think you were saying:- 'Being deeply loved by someone give you strength; Loving someone deeply give syou courage.' Bev

Well lets all hope that Selene wont check out this blog if she can't contact you at home. And even if she does, she will still has no idea where the beach house is. Bev

Hey Green and Chaz! Green ~ Ouch! Your poor ankle and your battered and bruised head! Your name might be Green but I'm sure your head will be lot's of pretty colours when all the bruising comes out! Chaz ~ I'm sorry you didn't get your week away and you had to spend all that time worrying about Green. Guys, I hope that everyone wil respect your wishes and you do get the house to yourselves all week. You can have a holiday at home and when you next get a chance, you can go to New York. Bev

Okay, I have a question here... ...How did Green get so lucky as to snag Chaz???!!! Chaz ~ Green is more than lucky to have you as his boyfriend. And Mike is more than lucky to have you as his brother. And Selene and David are more than lucky to have you as a friend. And as for the rest of the world....how did we get so lucky to have you in this world of ours? Chaz, I cannot get over how loving and forgiving and caring and accepting you are. I am just in awe. That's all I can say for now...I'm speechless! (and believe me, that is a feat all on it's own) Bev

Chaz and Green ~ you have both been shoved into an awkward and uncomfortable place through no fault of your own. It's hard when you lose a friend, and one who has been as close as Selene has been to you guys. to both of you. Green, it was unfair of Selene to bring up your first boyfriend but in doing so, you can compare that relationship with the one you have with Chaz...actually, there is no comparison. Chaz will always be number one with you, now and forever Chaz, you and everyone knows that it wasn't your fault that Green got hurt. It was an accident. And it's not your fault that Selene is acting the way she is. You aren't the one who is breaking up the friendship that Green has had with Selene. She is doing it all by herself. Again you are not at fault. I was thinking as I was driving home from work, that all of us are responsible for our own actions or inactions. We aren't responsible for someone else's actions or inactions (unless they are little children of course and we need to protect them from danger). And at the same time, we cannot control how other people think of us. We can only control how we think of them and how we think of ourselves. You can't control how Selene acts towards you or thinks about either of you. You are only really responsible for your own actions and thoughts. I think you guys need to remind each other, that it is no ones fault but Selenes if she thinks badly of either of you or acts badly toward either of you. Maybe Selene will come to her senses sooner or later and want to apologise for her actions and resume the friendship you guys once had. If and only if she does that, you will need to decide what you want to do. And it is your decision if you will let her back into your lives. Not her decision...your decision. Bev

Heya Chaz I've never really been into collecting things, so I guess I can't relate to the feelings that collectors have over their collections. I have a large collection of china cats but to be honest, when I painted about fifteen years ago, they all went into storage in shoe boxes and that is where they remain, to this day. I've read everyones comments and I'd like to add something. Chaz, I would like to reassure you that Selene is not your responsibility. How Selene behaves or thinks or even what she says is not your responsibility. If Selene decides that Green has to choose between you, then that is her decision. She is the one who is blowing hot and cold all over the place and not you. I know that Green would be terribly hurt if he was made to choose between the two of you but to be honest, it is Selene who is doing this to Green and not you. Chaz, you have done nothing but support and love Green and you have been there at every oppportunity and quite frankly, you don't deserve to be treated like an add on that can be removed at any time. If Selene ends up turning her back on Green because she has decided that she doesn't like you, well that is no ones fault but her own. Please don't let her make you feel guilty that you have stepped between them, because a blind man in a dark room can see otherwise. And if Selene makes Green choose, he will choose you. And anyway, Selene is the one who is trying to come between you two and it wont happen because Green loves you Chaz. Bev

Congratulations Xander, for getting the parts in the play. And also congratulations for having the courage to audition. A lot of people who have not auditioned because of stage fright but you went up there and faced your demons and you got the part. Facing our fears and overcoming them are some of the hardest things we do in life. You should be proud of yourself. Everyone else is proud of you too! Bev

Chaz...Hugs and tears...for you and your brother and me and everyone who has been sexually abused or asaulted when they were kids. Sexual abuse and rape is a power trip. The person (or persons) that does it, is just trying to exert some sort of power over the people they hurt. The thing is, no matter how far they go (for want of a better term) or what they do, it still affects their victim. And that means, just because you or your brother weren't physically raped, you were still sexaully and physically abused and you thought you would be raped, and that is emotional and mental abuse. This man abused you and your brother physically and emotionally, he abused your family's trust and he abused the name of family friend. And even though he is dead, he is still wielding a form of power over you and over your brother. You know he can't hurt you anymore but the memories of what he has done, still hurts. It's like a knife to the gut, it has been there so long that you have learnt to live with the pain and then something happens and the knife twists and it hurts more than the first time, because you relive it again...all in glorious technicolour. And you are older, so you understand more...and then the knife twists again. Okay...now that you have acknowledged it, you have to decide what to do next. A think a good therapist or counsellor is a great idea. You need to learn how to take the knife out and how to take away the power of this man....it might hurt a lot to get the knife out and it will take some time to deal with all the internal damage, but the alternative is leaving it there and being in pain forever. If you feel uncomfortable with Greens therapist, go to another. And if you aren't comfortable with that one, keep going until you find one you are comfortable with and who you can trust. Your brother is dealing with his pain too. But he doesn't have a support network around him to help him cope and so he is dealing with it the best way he can and that means for him, lashing out. This is a really bad analagy, so please forgive me...when a dog is hurt, he will snap and growl and try to bite the one person who is reaching out to help him. He doesn't know what else to do because he is in so much pain. I think that is what your brother is doing...snapping and growling and biting because he doesn't know what else to do. I don't think your brother even realises what he is doing... If he will listen to you, you might be able to convice him to see someone too. You know, seeing a therapist doesn't mean you are crazy...it means you are sane because you realise you need a little help. More hugs and more tears for us. And one day, we will all be able to say together, "I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor!' Bev

Heya Dom It so great having pets and watching them grow from puppies or kittens, and then they get old and sick and it's the worst, having to make that decision. I remember my cat Jewie. She was lovely...most of the time. A few years ago, she damaged the cruciate ligament in her back knee and the vet had to do a knee reconstruction. It was expensive, but she was my cat. Then the day before my birthday, last year, we were having a celebratory dinner as I had just been offered my first paid job in forever as I had always been a stay at home mum. Jewie was eating a piece of fish and then walked up the hallway. When she came back, she was dragging her leg. We took her to the vets the next day and found out she had broken her hip. And the knee that had been repaired was full of arthritis. They could amputate but she wouldn't be able to get around at all and still be in pain. We had no choice but to put her to sleep. I still miss my Jewie and think of her everyday. Dom, you will know when the time is right to make the decision. And you will know that it will be the right thing to do. Bev

Heya, hello and g'day Camy! Welcome to the blogs. Everyone is really friendly and I am sure that you will settle in, in no time at all. Just like me Bev

Nick I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Bev