innerkid13
-
Posts
61 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Forums
Stories
- Stories
- Story Series
- Story Worlds
- Story Collections
- Story Chapters
- Chapter Comments
- Story Reviews
- Story Comments
- Stories Edited
- Stories Beta'd
Blogs
Store
Help
Articles
Gallery
Events
Everything posted by innerkid13
-
Ezekiel stood watch over them, his head turning and focusing on the Highlord approaching, standing protectively over Firlotte, who was down pulling tools from his tool belt as he wrestled with the hatch. He “Negative pressure on the other side,” Firlotte said, shaking his head as he came back up. “The station’s open to space, we’re stuck here… something missing between paragraphs
-
We need to get Darien out of there.” he looked about her, frustrated by the inactive consoles, “And someone get this virus out of our systems…” SOMETHING MISSING
-
Darien squared his shoulders, his jaw set, and without a word he moved onwards. He mounted a set of stairs at the far end of the great hall, staring at the mirror black doors, polished till they were almost reflective, making the hall seem longer than it was. The ship felt like that, one great optical illusion. He rested his hands on the flats of the doors and he pushed, the great hinges creaking as the DUPLICATED
-
There are a few additional details in these sections that would benefit from one more review (e.g., Kai born in Seattle but referenced as Harlan born) - maybe copy paste errors during drafting/editing, otherwise really nice story telling.
-
Please don’t convince mastershakeme to shorten the chapters too much! Unless you post shorter chapters more often - really enjoying the writing.
-
Incubator! Love it! I guess the Donor could grow a pair and be a better man and father for it. Having grown up in an area that seems eerily similar, I am aware that people learn what is available to them to learn. At some point, they have to choose to question it or not. Those lucky enough become better humans because of a question or few. May we all be so lucky.
-
Act III - It's The Hard-Knock Life
innerkid13 commented on Jack Poignet's story chapter in Act III - It's The Hard-Knock Life
Bring Him Home - Les Miserables Forbidden Fruit - The Apple Tree Where I Want to Be - Chess Miracles of Miracles - Fiddler on the Roof Why God Why - Miss Saigon Boy for Sale - Oliver! It Takes Two - Hairspray A Man Could Go Quite Mad - The Mystery of Edwin Drood Mama, Look Sharp - 1776 Not While I’m Around - Sweeney Todd You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught - South Pacific The Only Home I Know - Shenandoah -
The Governor's Agony, The Healer's Restraint
innerkid13 commented on Jack Poignet's story chapter in The Governor's Agony, The Healer's Restraint
Your writing continues to impress me more with each chapter you share. I continue to have the complaint that I just want more - faster. Well done! -
Sad because I want more. Such a great story to leave where it is or continue. The intensity Bob could experience from this point onwards is electrifying to consider.
-
In Aiden’s text, he states he is with Wendy, but her name was Christy (Christine) when introducing herself to Sev - so many good details in this story so far. Sorry for noting the very few I am noticing.
-
Love the story so far. Minor detail I noticed: Ruby is three and a half (first chapter) and this chapter states Ava has been dead for five years. Probably easy to resolve for someone with your excellent writing skills - thank you for sharing your gifts!
-
Here at Last, on the Shores of the River
innerkid13 commented on Jack Poignet's story chapter in Here at Last, on the Shores of the River
What is more unexpected and disruptive than having an unexpected kid - biological, adopted, or otherwise (side effect of THE ceremony, Celine’s, Marcus’, magic deprived “junky,” something else). And who adopted whom anyway…. I am looking forward to where the Muses lead you. -
How will Kenji generate sufficient autonomy to be part of the organization but less central? That seems to be the only way to balance the personal life with River and the tradition that is his family’s business.
-
Jeremy is blaming Carter for awakening feelings that are exclusively for Ethan. Considering Laura and Dexter as indications of the environment that Jeremy was exposed to during his upbringing, I am surprised his reaction is not more toxic to those around him. Ugh. I am starting to hope that he burns down the house with everyone in it. Maybe the kids will escape with Jeff and Elena or maybe not.
-
The writing is wonderful. Jeremy is so abusive to Carter (for a personal reason), that I am struggling to want any kind of positive outcome for him. I am hoping that this story can find a way to make him somewhat redeemable (good luck).
-
Dispatch to All Units, 10-73 at Charlie's Bar
innerkid13 commented on Lee Wilson's story chapter in Dispatch to All Units, 10-73 at Charlie's Bar
In unusually erratic behavior, he miss directed the bomb between Georgia (the state) and Georgia (the country). -
Demon? Dragon (but that’s a shifter)?
-
I see they are both part of the Kandric Saga.
-
I see that are both part of the Kandric Saga.
-
Does Kyle Aarons’ “Beyond the Crags” have any relationship to this story?
-
Does Roland’s “Sands of Time” have a relationship to this story?
-
Chapter 17: Feelings Found
innerkid13 commented on astone2292's story chapter in Chapter 17: Feelings Found
I’m thoroughly enjoying. Thank you. -
Chapter 17: Feelings Found
innerkid13 commented on astone2292's story chapter in Chapter 17: Feelings Found
"I take it your Dave's other boss? Quinn Welsh. I'm the store manager." The Giraffe held out his hand. (Is it really a secret?) -
Theesome by default, not by conscious choice. Maybe an inability to choose against either. He seems practical enough to deal with it over time with more distance from his more repressive history.
