Camy

Woot! Thanks Myr. I installed the latest version of Java, and managed to logon... Of course I was the only one there, so rather than sadly loitering all day I'm off to work. Later Camy

Yep. Luc likes Cats. I was just about to start drawing up a family tree, but it all got too complicated. I live with four Cats and they are bad enough, but it seems you have an entire soap opera cast of them. Any pictures? Sorry about Baby Girl. That must have been awful. 'Close your eyes' does it for me. Camy

I hate my browser. Did it again. I was on live chat and then wasn't ... peturbing. Camy

There. That wasn't so hard was it! Besides which I really like Green as a name, no matter how it came about, and you could have been called lavender, pink, beige or puce. Camy

I though the Bachelor party was organised by the best man... Man being the operative word - vs Hen nights organised by bridesmaids ... and are you having two separate parties or just the one? Camy PS why is Green called Green? As he's gone awol I'm sure he won't mind you telling! Ok maybe that's not so fair.

OK I'd like to try and hide the shyness and 'live chat' once in a while, but both times I've tried my browser has wigged out and crashed. I'm using firefox, and have java installed, yet it comes to a screaching halt. Upset. So what does everyone use? And can you access it with XChat or another IRC programme? Thanks Camy

Since it seems to be de rigueur to have a track of the day, which btw I think is wonderful, I thought I'd waffle on about my album of the week. And definitely in my list of all time favourites. I'm obsessed with Pink Floyd. Always have been I guess, though this week I'm hugely into 'The Division Bell' Two songs in particular both fit the me of now, and the lifestate I'm in. 'What do you want from me?' is the first, especially the lines: Do you want my blood, do you want my tears What do you want What do you want from me? The other is 'High Hopes', also sometimes known as 'The grass is greener' All the damn lyrics fit ... so here they are: Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young In a world of magnets and miracles Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary The ringing of the division bell had begun Along the Long Road and on down the Causeway Do they still meet there by the Cut? There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps Running before time took our dreams away Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground To a life consumed by slow decay The grass was greener The light was brighter With friends surrounded The nights of wonder Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again Dragged by the force of some inner tide At a higher altitude with flag unfurled We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world Encumbered forever by desire and ambition There's a hunger still unsatisfied Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon Though down this road we've been so many times The grass was greener The light was brighter The taste was sweeter The nights of wonder With friends surrounded The dawn mist glowing The water flowing The endless river Forever and ever Dave Gilmour is one of those rare human beings who can talk with his guitar. And his voice ... High or otherwise his music makes my soul sing and weep in equal measure. Camy

Ditto! They got on! That's a boon not to be overlooked, after all they might have loathed each other. Parents are unfortunate creatures. All they have to look forward to is organising the one big day ... whatever happens it'll be fantastic. Camy ps glad you decided to blog on.

Yesterday. Half way through a boring day at work my other half phoned. She was in floods of tears. We live in the country and one of the four cats, Percy (Sir Perseus Plumb-Puss, a big black bruiser of a softy) had brought in a baby Bunny. Alive. I arrived home in trepidation. I'm the man (chortle) and as such, and if required, I'm the bastard who has to put poor defenceless beasties out of their misery. Spiders I don't have a problem with: Glass on top, magazine beneath and then a swift lope to the garden. Slugs: no problem either, but Bunnies... I just managed to get my coat off before I was ushered in to see said Bunny and proclaim its fate. E.D. (Eduardo Domanic Wouk-Wouk, black and white) and Percy were circling the bathroom, while the other two feline killing machines were sunning themselves by the fire. There, by the bath, I fell in love. He was sooo cute, with a huge head and soulful brown eyes. Unfortunately he was terrified and hurt, and the Cats meowling outside the door didn't help at all. I picked him up and held him in my hand. He looked at me as if to say 'Help!' After a lot grief, including discussions of vets vs vets fees vs four cats and a countryside full of baby Bunnies vs bankruptcy, I finally took him up to the woods and let him go. He sat there looking really sad and didn't move as I left. Nature is so damn cruel. Camy.

Absolutely. But why here? Why online? Why not is a little book mostly kept locked in a deep bottom drawer? I'm always amazed at where I was a year ago, yet I never seem to be where I'm supposed to be in the here and now... still, never mind eh! Cheers Kevin Camy

Good luck with the move, and I Hope the Cats learn to speak English quickly. Chapter 9 is wicked good: Cody and his mother are great additions! Camy

There's irony for you. You clicked a link and voila; memories. I followed your link to 'bthewriteplace' and had some things I thought I had well and truly buried flung back at me. Memories are definitely weird, though generally controllable unless you happen to be in a particular frame of mind - another filmic reference! As to the one who writes life being a 'Drama Queen' I think it more likely it's us, the 'Actors' who are the true drama queens. The script writer is laconic at best. A scene setter. Selective memory is interesting too. Why do (in my case anyway) a lot of the bad times seemingly vanish? I could probably pull them back if I had too, but generally my memories skip from good time to good time with everything censored out. I say bless the censor. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Take care Camy

I've been sitting here looking at a blank screen for nearly twenty minutes, and it suddenly struck me why? why do I feel the need to blog - as neat a euphemism for cathartic soul cleansing as one could hope for. Now the Church is in decline, perhaps blogging is the only true confessional left to us. Not that I've ever been to confession... I blog because I think I have something to add to the day to day 'diary' of my life. But why here? Well... I feel safe here, in that I can say things about a part of my life I am too damn frightened to say elsewhere. I can talk about my life and especially my sexuality in a uniquely secret yet very public way. Woot! GA Rocks! Camy

Yonks ago, in the mists of time called the 'Roaring Twenties' (that's 1920's) Having a Gay time, meant to have a good time, a fun time. Personally I've never heard Gay used in a bad way. Queer is often used detrimentally but not Gay. Camy

That's a great post Kevin. I still write, and I find I can if I concentrate. I used to really like real pens, but the ink always dries up. and gah they are such a pain. I think Biro's and gel pens killed handwriting... Keyboards are better! I'll do my best to have an awesome day, and you take care too! Camy

Ever such a cute Bunny! Best you don't tell him you've posted his picture. He might get embarrassed. I Hope he gets better really soon. Camy

It's raining. It's miserable, and yet I'm ok, when to all intents and purposes I should be as miserable as the day. I've got so much to do, and I can't get my head around any of it. So here I sit loitering, reading blogs, and trying desperately to find something to take my mind off reality. I work, amongst other things, building websites. I have updates to three of them, yet it's Sunday, and I'm playing the 'Lords day of rest' card. Come tomorrow I know I'll probably regret the wasted hours, yet they are my hours to waste, and although that makes absolutely no sense, so be it. It's better to be interactive on-line than in a vegetative state watching the tube. I do enough of that as it is. I often wonder what life would be like if computers and the www hadn't come along. All of us 'closet cases' wouldn't have anywhere except our own heads to be angsty. I also wonder what I'd be doing. I've always fallen from job to job, never with any end goal in sight. Whatever I've found interesting, or within my ability to do I've done, and I've always managed to get by. Yet the world is changing so rapidly that I'm finding it harder and harder. Take computers. If you spend the time to keep up with the latest trends, new software etc you'd never have time to actually do anything. Inevitably you fall behind, and then find yourself redundant. The best thing is to fine a niche and become a guru in that niche. That's... Boring. My handwriting has become almost indecipherable, though my keyboard skills improve on a daily basis. In another hundred years will we have lost the ability to write by hand entirely? Perhaps we'll come full circle, and one day someone will pick up a bit of chalk and draw on a cave wall... Hmm. Sunday's are sent to try us. This one is succeeding. Sorry for the waffle. Camy

Cheers, and it was too! Camy

Birthdays are very peculiar things. When you're a small they're wonderful. You get STUFF, often a party, and mostly people are nice to you... You can get away with an awful lot of mischief too! Then you get to a point where the Birthday becomes... a weency bit of a drag. You celebrate because you feel you should rather than wanting too, and you often find you're celebrating to make other people happy; and honestly, that's just perverse. That's where I was: 'Jaded' would encapsulate the feeling pretty well. The next stage on is probably curmudgeonly and let's not go there for a good while. So: Today it was my Birthday, and it was brilliant! I did exactly what I wanted to do without upsetting any of the 'but wouldn't you like to?' or 'We've organised...' people. I told them in advance I was spending the day 'chilling' and voila! That's just what I did! Mmmm. Camy

The local Birthday season starts in just under five minutes. All my friends appear to be either Pisces or Aries... Is this odd? I must start reading horoscopes. Possibly. Anyway Tomorrow/Today it's me. According to my stats here I shall be 100. That's old! Gosh. Camy (the old)

Prison Break is showing in the UK at the moment, and I haven't watched any of it, so I don't have a clue about the story line (even though the trailers are getting more and more compulsive viewing). So how can a Prison Break have a second season? Either you escape or you don't... Unless it's like 24. The first 'season' was excellent, the second slightly more far fetched (Nuclear weapon explodes)and was where I stopped watching. Surely people know Jack is trustworthy by now, and yet he's perpetually the bad guy: Until he saves the day AGAIN. Odd. I love WT btw, and chapter seven rawked! Don't think otherwise. Camy

People expect you to be a certain way. and if you're not they notice. Some perhaps more than we'd like. I have a work persona I slip into. I think we all do. Yet the longer you work in a place the more the line between your persona and the real you can become blurred... It's also easy to forget how perceptive some people are. As for "I feel like an old relic around there", I know exactly how you feel. The point comes when a change is not only a nice thought, but a really good idea. Camy

If you like James Blunt, you'll love Jack Johnson's 'In Between Dreams'. It's a wicked album. Camy

That is so... Sweet sounds yucky, but it is. Sweet! Glad you're together again. Camy

Congratulations! Firstly on your Ph.D - you must be so relieved and secondly on the hosting bit. It's such a great story and now much easer to find and check up on. Cool page too. Camy