Carlos Hazday

Good story. It does stand alone but I could tell I'm missing something. It's the reason I avoid fan fic unless it's about something I've read. It did strike my fancy, wish I had time to read the books it's based on.

You should have posted this as a stand alone story. You would have been able to mark it comple and I would have raved about it in a review.

Abso-fricking-lutely lovely. I loved Iggy taking charge, showing he is a man and not a confused kid. I'm not surprised at the quality of the story, you've proven often enough you have chops.

A great love story set in the world of sports with athletic completion viewed in a geopolitical context. Two brave character willing to risk it all in order to be together. Well worth the read.

That last sentence was perfection. I love topical stories and this one hits the nail on the head for me. Great job, Dodger.

I just read this! How the heck did I miss it. Come on, Parker, it'll be easy. You know I'm a pussycat willing to take criticism. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to cleaning the shotgun.

I am amazed at how much the author packed into 1,500 words. Bless Me, Father is a good example of what a talented author can accomplish by stripping back adornments and excess. A simple, sad story of loss and missed opportunity with streaks of misguided religious fervor woven through it. Regrets are a horrible thing to live with. I choose to believe the open ending allows a ray of hope to shine through. Best thing I've read so far this year.

Such a sad and wonderful story. Magnificent writing, Parker. Your descriptions were so subtle yet complete. I had a clear image of a town in the northeast, were everyone knew each other, and life moved at a slower pace. Mid-American morals the guiding principle. So well layered too. There were so many spots it felt if I could peek under the sentence I'd find an entire new paragraph.

@Potterslashfan Interesting how the sections you liked least was the one another reader liked. LOL Goes to prove we all focus on different aspects. Another interesting thing hong is the reception a modification in style receives. The first four books could be considered one with four sections and was written with dated daily entries. Walls changed the approach with each chapter covering a month. Some disliked the approach at first claiming it seemed rushed. I've compressed time again and I'm hoping by the time the book's over readers will forget about my experimentation and remember all that was included instead of what they felt was left out.

A flash piece with a delightful recapping of a wedding through photos in an album. However there's one inconsistency which ruined the entire thing for me. One of the characters spent five years in a coma but the other one mentions it's their third wedding anniversary. Maybe I didn't understand something but if that's the case I have a feeling I won't be the only one.

Interesting approach. Dialogue accounts for a hundred percent of it and although witty at times, I missed a few descriptions here and there. It felt like listening to a radio show without the narrator setting the scene. In the end, it didn't work for me. I lost interest halfway through and ended up skimming the rest.

@Defiance19 Very perceptive, Def. On both counts. I channeled Cesar giving CJ a beer the first day the kid was in Washington and distilled it into CJ getting Ritchie drunk. Not the same circumstances so not the same action, but the same approach. The dads are permissive and have no problem bending the rules when they deem it necessary. Having Geoff tell CJ "Down, tiger" was one of the lines of dialogue I enjoyed writing most. CJ's ready to take on anyone to defend his boyfriend even if it's the man's family. There's that loyalty he talks about in action. Harley and other Squad members shall return sometime soon. But these first few chapters feature the immediate family on purpose since most of the other guys are away from DC.

@Potterslashfan One of the first things I learned when I joined GA was info dumps are not ideal. Same for character introductions. Since I have so many characters, I do try and remind readers who they are when they first show up after a while. But all it takes is using their full name in narration and a word or two. It's usually enough to for example say Rodney Abello is CJ's cousin and that usually sparks a memory of who the man is. Fro the remainder of the chapter he would be Rod and readers would still know who he was. Welcome back to you, too

Sometimes a simple short story surprises you and that is the case here. A silly premise and some decent writing are the perfect ingredients for a enjoyable read. A cute story that will put a smile on your face.

@jwh6868 I didn't have a specific restaurant in mind so the one you ate at sounds good. LOL So, you were in Sydney on 25 April 2009? Did you do anything special? I hope you caught the parade around Hyde Park. In case you didn't here's a picture I took that day. Guess we were ships passing in the sunshine, you and I!

@JeffreyL Glad you enjoyed the chapter, Jeff. There are a few trips planned to new places in future chapters, let's see if I can add fresh locations to your bucket list.

Carols? LMAO Hang in there, JT. It's almost over

Thanks. My problem's I want a break from CJ, I have half a dozen unrelated stories and some related ones in different stages of writing. I want to tackle a couple of them during a break from CJ. Of course, I have a responsibility to the readers so I won't abandon the story even if intending to return to it. So I need a realistic point in which to end. College graduation is it. I started out with the idea of 4 sections with 7 chapters each (ignore my OCD tendencies.) I listened to my editor and the last chapter in this book was split in two. I've already done the same with the next one. The final book will be quite longer. I mentioned before I'm writing fall 2019 events and I have so much to cover... Anyway, I don't want to cheat by skipping out yet I want a break. Hopefully, I'll find a happy medium here.

@Wesley8890 Don't hold back, Wes. What did you really think about the chapter? Thanks, bud!

@Daddydavek Can you get street view outside the US? In response to a previous comment, I mentioned Owen's education was inspired by one of my brothers.Three degrees is two more than me! I revisited a lot of the same spots but tried to focus on different aspects. Having all the siblings along made it a bit easier since I could focus on them.

Last chapter, @Daddydavek mentioned something about the chapter structure being somewhat different and I told him some of that was on purpose. This chapter's an example of what I'm trying to do from now on. When I have a bunch of unrelated scenes crammed into a chapter, some will suffer as I try to limit the word count. By limiting this chapter to the trip, I can give a little more detail or texture to what happens. I recently read something about a typical person these days having a shorter attention span and anything or 3500 words being a chore for them to read. I shoot for 5000 and have been over most chapters. That is the reason I sometimes appear to rush through some things. It's something I'm aware of and I'm trying to work around. Let's see how it goes. I do know there are at least three more trips in the future I'll devote an entire chapter to.

LMAO - You mean to tell me I wasted all those great speeches CJ gave? You may have just skimmed them? Where's the nearest cliff? Oh, wait, no cliffs anywhere in Florida. The before you graduate college line serves two purposes. First, it covers the four years at Georgetown which are the four books I have underway. The outline for anything further is real sketchy. Second, writing in the future is a problem for someone like me who relies so heavily on real events and locations. Everything that happens in 2018 has been written but I'm making a revision here and there to incorporate some realness. For example, I have a scene where some people are watching the opening ceremonies for the Winter Olympics. I'll watch those tonight and tomorrow morning I'll tinker with the scene based on what's shown. At some point, editing and publishing will catch up with real life time and then I'll be in trouble. Although I've written scenes or dialogue lines taking place as far as the 2030s but those I'm pretty sure will stand short of nuclear holocaust.

@Sweetlion Owen's degrees were inspired by my brother. He has an engineering one, an MBA, and a legal degree. He worked between them unlike Owen but I know my brother has benefitted from having all three even though he works as an attorney. Australia will always be a destination for these guys as long as CJ and Owen remain together.

Ritchie seems to have a few fans amongst readers and I wanted to give him some 'screen' time. Tried not to repeat myself describing this trip but something like the Bridge Climb and touring the Opera House are things every tourist should do IMO. I wish I'd been able to visit Australia at that age. I would have become a regular visitor!

@dughlas You hit the nail on the head with this one. Ritchie's had time to get used to the money and to having fairly liberal parents who allow him to experience things and learn from them. I think his problem's more what CJ mentions- he spends so much time with The Squad he sometimes forgets they're all older than him. In the first book of the series, I mentioned how much CJ liked spending time with his brother. THat has not changed. But what I see is CJ trying to pass on some of what he's learned. Whether Ritchie takes advantage of such an opportunity remains to be seen.