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Comicality

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  1. Comicality
    Wednesday - Arrgh! No escape! Is Bobby, like, stalking me now or what? I already had to get a zero in gym for ditching today, and now I've gotta watch the phone and scan all the messages for the next few days just to make sure my mom doesn't get the call from the school computer! But as soon as I got home, he like....CALLS me! I guess I should have expected him to call me, but I usually don't pick up without checking the caller ID first. Well, this time I made the mistake of taking a chance,
  2. Comicality
    Monday - I don't exactly know where my efforts got so terribly out of balance all of the sudden, but I wish I could trace it back to a certain event or two so I could fix it. Because I'm beginning to run out of ideas as to how to handle things again. Naturally, I'm talking about the biggest enigma in my life right now...Brandon. You know, I was starting to make some real moves on him, and I thought he liked that. But today it was like he was shutting me out or something. He didn't sound li
  3. Comicality
    Saturday - It took FOREVER to get a hold of Jimmy tonight! Arrrgh! I must have called a billion times before he actually picked up the damn phone! I kinda wanted to know what happened with him and Lee, but I kinda didn't wanna know either...but I HAD to know! Whatever. Anyway, so here's the scoop... Jimmy says that Lee came over and asked about me. Like, he actually asked about me! He wanted to know if I was coming over. Now...I have a bad habit of letting wishful thinking take over and co
  4. Comicality
    Thursday - Ok, I'm convinced that Bobby's ass is magic. It's like, hypnotic or something. I didn't want this feeling to haunt me forever, so today, I decided to just get it overwith and get it out of my head. The more I tried to restrain myself, the more I wanted to see it. So I figured, what the hell? I might as well look, right? I mean, I'm just gonna keep thinking about it nonstop if I don't. So I make sure that nobody is watching, and I stare directly at it. Hoping and praying that it wou
  5. Comicality
    Tuesday - I think...agh!...I think I accidently skinned my dick or something! Do I really masturbate THAT much? I know I did it a lot today, but...it's like 'sore' right now! Ok, I just peeled down my boxers to look at it, and it looks alright. It's just been rubbed a little raw, I think. I couldn't help myself though. This was like one of the horniest days of my whole life so far. I can't believe I'm writing this in here, but...for the first time ever...I jacked off in school. Ok, I've ne
  6. Comicality
    Sunday - I'm so sore right now! I think my arms are going to actualy fall off of my body when I go to sleep tonight! My mom became a major Work-Nazi today after having Brandon over to the house yesterday. She had me mow the whole lawn, front, back, and both sides. Then she had me wash all the laundry, fold it up, and put it all away, linens and everything. And I had like two days worth of dishes to wash. And when all of THAT was finished, there was still the matter of cleaning my room to deal
  7. Comicality
    Friday - Ok, so I did something kinda low today. I wasn't planning on it really, but I was desperate. Basically, my mom was putting together a list of chores for me to do on Saturday as sort of a 'last pennance' for my fight in school. And I had to tell her about Brandon coming over tomorrow. Dammit, if I could have only made it one more day, I might have gotten away with it. Anyway, when I told her, she just kinda looked at me. You know, that look that kinda says 'Oh, so you just think you c
  8. Comicality
    Wednesday - Do you have ANY idea what happened to me today??? I'm walking to school, minding my own fucking business, right? And just before I cross the street to get to school, Joanna walks up beside me and has the nerve to frown her face up at me! At ME! And she's like, "I hope you're happy!" I'm thinking, 'What the fuck did this heartless BITCH just say to me???' But I'm so outdone by the fact that she even got it in her head that she could even TALK to me, much less send a snide remark
  9. Comicality
    Monday - Ok, I'm officially confused about everything that life is or ever was. But...it kinda feels good, you know? Trying to figure everything out all the time gets tiring. It's like swimming upstream. Every now and then, it's relaxing to just stop flailing around and just letting the current take you where it wants you to go. It's nice to think for a short time that life just has this, like....plan for you, or something. And you can trust it to guide you in all the right directions if you
  10. Comicality
    Saturday - I don't know why my mom suddenly decided to give me an hour of time to talk on the phone tonight. I think it's because she felt bad for me. Or maybe it was the fight that I had with my dad today that caused her to lighten up a bit. If for no other reason than to keep herself in my good graces. It's a long story, but what else have I got to do today? Early this morning, my mom made some breakfast for me, and some burgers for lunch. But she saw me moping around the house in silenc
  11. Comicality
    Thursday - Suspension. I mean, who the hell invented it, anyway? Out of all the times I actually didn't wanna go to school, they pick this one to tell me, "Hey Kid! Get the fuck out!" What do you DO when you're suspended? It's pretty obvious that if you did something to get suspended, then you did something to get punished by your parents. So with the double sentence working against me, I'm stuck here in a room all by myself for 24 hours with nothing but my 'homework' to keep me occupied. I w
  12. Comicality
    Tuesday - My dad just called a couple of minutes ago. That's probably why I'm back in here, locked away in this room and writing in this book. I half expected my mom to come knocking on my door and wanting to 'chit chat' about the horribly damaged existence I've been living since my own father decided to go find himself some better life that doesn't include us anymore. But, to my surprise, she didn't bother. In fact, I think she went to her room and shut the door too. Who knows....maye tha
  13. Comicality
    Sunday - It's like having a wild ferret doing backflips inside of your stomach. That's just what it felt like. The idea that my dad could be...with some other woman...I mean, what am I supposed to do with thoughts like that in my head. FIRST of all, it's downright disgusting that he would be dating anybody! And second of all, he's MARRIED! To my MOM, no less! So what the fuck is he DOING running around with some random lady on the side? What could he possibly be thinking? I think I feel sick.
  14. Comicality
    Friday - Okay, you know what? Sometimes...life just isn't fucking fair. You know that? I just...I've got SO much in my head right now, and I can't seem to straighten it out for the life of me. But it's just not FAIR! I know that much! I'm not EVEN going to get into the late night phone call I got from Jimmy a few minutes ago! Not yet! But that, above everything else, is probably the worst part of my day! Grrr! Ok, so I saw Bobby Jinette in the halls earlier today, right? And I guess tha
  15. Comicality
    Wednesday - He DITCHED me!!! I can't believe that Brandon totally stood me up today! I kept asking him all day through school if he was still coming over, I mentioned it every chance that I got. And he basically tried to avoid the topic as much as possible, but even when I forced him to answer me, he nodded. Nodding your head means 'yes'! Am I right? Sighhhh...God...NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD CAN MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL LIKE BRANDON CAN!!! And you wanna know what the worst part is? I didn't even
  16. Comicality
    Monday - Arrgghh! My dad just called the house, talked to mom for like an hour almost. It sounded like a very 'restrained' conversation. You know what I mean? I was in the living room, my mom was in the kitchen, and she kept lowering her voice and sometimes even whispering while walking back around the corner where I couldn't hear what she was saying. And I HATE that! What the hell could be so private that he can talk to her about it and not me? Whatever. I just hope this game is almost overw
  17. Comicality
    Saturday - Ok...ok...I just got done 'touching myself' again, but I PROMISE, that's the last time I'll do it tonight! I swear! I think I'm at number five right now. Or is it six? Um...lemme see...I did it once in bed this morning, and once before I went out with Jimmy, and then once when I came home...that's three. Then once during that commercial break on MTV, but that was just a quickie. I guess that counts. Oh, and twice in a row sometime before dinner. And then just now. Whoah...wait...th
  18. Comicality
    Friday - I think I'm literally about to CRY right now! And for all the right reasons, believe me! That pressure has been building up in the back of my throat, you know...like when you're really choked up over a movie or something, and it feels like I wanna just burst out and start sobbing! But I can't stop smiling long enough for the actual tears to come to my eyes! Is that weird or what? Listen to this...Brandon came over to my house today. He sat down right here where I'm laying on my be
  19. Comicality
    Thursday - Yawwwwn! Damn I'm tired right now! You wanna know something really fucked up? I stayed up until almost 2 in the morning last night, trying to finish that STUPID history assignment...FINALLY got it done...and I was so groggy that I left it on my dresser this morning!!! I mean it! I guess my mind was just fucking worn out from drilling about 75 years worth of history into my head in one night. Naturally, I didn't even know that I had forgotten it until my teacher asked for it. And NA
  20. Comicality
    Tuesday - Wow! Holy shit! Ok...let me start off by saying that I truly believe that I have experienced a divine moment today from the Heavens themselves!!! Ok? I mean it! It was like...a TOTAL 'sign' or something! And I don't have any idea of what to do about it! I'm like...spinning in circles right now! Ok, so...I see Brandon right before lunch, and we were gonna walk down to the cafeteria together and eat like we always do, right? No big deal. But you know what he did today? He's all lik
  21. Comicality
    Sunday - My mom has been a bit of a basket case today, and I can't really understand why. She hasn't eaten anything at all since breakfast as far as I can tell, she's been shutting herself up in her room half the night without saying a word...and when I finally DO see her, her eyes are all red and swollen like she's been crying. It's both frustrating and scary at the same time. I don't have the faintest idea of what has been making her feel so low these days, but it doesn't seem to be going a
  22. Comicality
    Friday - I can't stay too long, because I've gotta jump in the shower and find my way out to AJ's house. I have to admit...I'm a little shaky right now. I mean...I'm actually going to spend the night with another boy. That's like...whoah! That's just beyond everything that I ever even expected from him at this point. Spending the night. Like, going over, and kissing him, and making dinner, and having lots of sex in a bed, as many times as we want, with no one else around. And then sleeping to
  23. Comicality
    Wednesday - Okay....did I just make a big mistake? I just...I don't know why I did this again, but it felt DAMN good, believe me! So it's not like I feel really 'guilty' or anything. I' jus a bit, well, confused. First of all, it's like almost 3 am right now, but I can't really sleep. Besides, I've gone this long without missing a single day of writing in this journal, and I don't wanna break my streak. Anyway, to make a long story short...I 'kinda' went over to see AJ tonight. I KNOW, I K
  24. Comicality
    Monday - Ok....so something amazing happened today! Brandon, the boy I've suddenly become so attached to, the prettiest boy in school, the guy that I've been seriously drooling over since I finally allowed myself to notice him...he came over today! AGAIN! What the hell is going ON here? I mean, did I win the freaking lottery all of the sudden, or what? I saw him in school, and it's weird because I see him in a totally different way now, you know? It's like...this entirely different spotlight
  25. Comicality
    Saturday - You know...I probably should have called AJ back right away. Like...the second I saw his number on my machine. I should have picked up the phone and straightened everything out, kissed and made up, and I could have had that sweet luscious boner of his sliding in and out of my mouth right now instead of pushing my hips into the side of the bed like a dork. As you can probably guess, this was one of those days when I woke up especially horny. I don't know why. But you know, it's like
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