C James

Title: Confusion Reviewer: jovian_w2002 This is one of my favorite stories ever! I am suffering from a chronic medical condition and this story has helped me heaps Thank you so so so so so so much!!!! Date: 08/06/2008 10:47 AM Title: Confusion Reviewer: Steven Keiths Altimexis, This is my second read-through of this story. It for me is one of the most beautifully written love stories, interwoven with extremely accurate and detailed information of the challenges encounterd by Brian. It is realistically told--no fluff--yet has warm and tender moments. I reccommend this story highly. Warm regards, --Steven Keiths Date: 07/20/2008 11:41 AM Title: Reunion Reviewer: Jey OKAY! I'm halfway through and even though I was "ehh" at first because of how speedy the "love at first sight" thing went down, this is simply freakin amazing. Theyre so right for eachother, especially to go through all that crap and suffer so much just to see eachother... it only proves that they deeply love eachother. 15 more chapters to see how things turn out though... Date: 07/12/2008 05:33 AM Title: Pillow Talk Reviewer: yukibi I'm really touched by this story I'm an asian and in my country, homosexuamity isn't accepted by most of people. Here, gay teens have to cope with many difficulties to admit themselves and esp to come out. Most of people in my country think that gay love is based on human desires, not love and it won't be last long. I'm really worried and upset about it. Sometimes I wish that Brian and Aeron would be real people to help us. I really admire their bravery and their love. Thank for writting this story. Date: 05/25/2008 08:12 PM Title: Pillow Talk Reviewer: dyllane and brad Hi guys a lot of you who have posted on the GA group would have read the reviews of this awsome story they were written by DYLLANE my loving and wondeful boyfriend its with great sadness i write this to imform you he lost his battle with the brain tumors that eventualy killed him he had survied two heart attacks luekemia and a car samsh he had also comr through two comas in his young and oh so very brief life DILLY i miss you and allway will love you untill were together in echothers embrace for all eternity, I love you BradnDyllsxxx123 There is a destiny that makes us Brothers, None goes his way alone; All that we send into the hearts of others, Comes back into our own. (Author unknown) DYLLANE "DYLLS" "DILLY" CZACC -TAYYLOR 02.06.1991 - 08.28.07 Date: 09/10/2007 04:22 PM Title: Pillow Talk Reviewer: Dismas aka Ben This story brings teas to my eys because it eminded me when I had my first bf in 6th grade and we hit rough patch's in our realationship but we lasted and made it this far till today we're still together Date: 08/16/2007 09:42 PM Title: Confusion Reviewer: Moutons Noire For a first chapter I liked it and I can't wait to read the rest, though that will have to wait till tomorrow because I'm tired and it's definitely bed time! It was catchy and I loved the whole fantasy/love-at-first-sight. It's romantic. One thing though that irked me about this chapter (I don't know if you fix it as you go on, but I'll say it anyways) you use the word 'dick' a lot. You only exchanged it for another once and then went straight back to using it. Try using other descriptive words (beyond dick and penis) such as member, organ, ect. It just gets slightly trite to see the word dick repeated over and over. Everything else is beautifully written and I can't wait to read the rest. Date: 07/18/2007 11:11 PM Title: Breaking the Ice Reviewer: adubya09 This is actually the third time I've tried to read this story, but I simply can't make it any farther than this. In the first attempt I had to stop at chapter one. The second and third tries I could barely endure this chapter, and then I called it quits. If I can't get into a story or it is altogether unreadable, I just leave it alone. This story is completely unbelievable... well, the first chapters are, and those are the most vital to the story! Readers should be hooked from the very beginning of the story- you can't expect them to stick around in good faith that your story will improve in the coming chapters; you have to capture them from the getgo. This story had an unfortunately weak start- it had no punch, no hook. I was bored instantly. The characters were completely one dimensional and the writing offered no hope of improvement. The author had several chances to change and catch my attention, but the poor writing and character development was a complete turnoff for me. Aaron and Brian's first encounter was completely unrealistic and not at all romantic or imaginative- do you expect me to believe that two young men who had not previously believed themselves to be gay would all the sudden meet in a hallway and make out? More questionably, Brian calls Aaron out for masturbating and creaming all over his clothes before kissing him? That's just silly to me. First of all, even the simple realization of homosexual feelings would never happen in such a short period of time, and it really wouldn't happen with both boys. If that is what the author was going for- 'a love so strong that it broke self imposed social constructs in love at first sight'- he/she failed considerably. The reader can't be expected to guess at what the author is trying to do... in my case, I think I would be giving the writer a little too much credit. This story is a disappointment, especially after reading the other reviews about it. Author's Response: I would like to thank adubya09 for taking the time to write a constructive review of Love in a Chair, even if it is a negative one. Although I think a rating of only one star is a bit harsh, and I can cite a number of examples of other eFiction stories that are much more poorly written for a number of reasons, I don't believe that my story deserves a 5-star rating, either. I just hope that adubya09 rated it as such because he believes Love in a Chair is trash rather than to try to offset the other reviews.rnrnI agree that my story is not strong on character development. The characters are indeed a bit one-dimensional and this is a criticism leveled by my editors, as well as by a few others that have taken the time to email me directly. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I have a day job and I had a story I wanted to tell, but only so much time to write it. As it is, it took me more than a year to write, edit and finally post the story in its current form. I would have loved to have fully developed each of the major characters, giving them depth and making them more real. I could not have done so without cutting important plot elements. Would the story have been better left unwritten? That is a judgment to be made by the readers, and given the tremendous response I have received, I believe that there has been an audience for this story and that writing it was worthwhile.rnrnIs the story believable? I will accept the criticism that it is unlikely two teenagers would meet, realize they are gay and fall in love instantaneously. I cringe a bit when I read the initial chapters, as they are the least-well edited and my writing improved markedly over the course of the story. Still, I think they served an important purpose in introducing the readers to a couple of teenage boys who fall in love and face tragedy together. Love in a Chair is a story with a purpose and telling a story of how two boys fall in love was not the central theme. My intent was to introduce the characters, develop the setting for Brian's injury and establish a pattern of sexual involvement between the boys to serve as a contrast to what would come after the accident. I'm sorry if the initial chapters failed to capture some of my potential readers' interest, but of course some people have different tastes and it's impossible to satisfy everyone. I realize that an uplifting story about survival with a disability means little to a reader who is unable to get into the story in the first place.rnrnPerhaps someday I will expand Love in a Chair and more thoroughly develop the characters. In the meantime, I've started work on my next project, which will focus a lot more heavily on the characters and which will be much less linear. Date: 07/03/2007 02:00 AM Title: Pillow Talk Reviewer: axel Excellent! Well written. Great character development. Good story line. Some cliff hangers. I loved it! A really good love story. Date: 06/30/2007 02:21 AM Title: Pillow Talk Reviewer: graeme it was one of the best stories that i've ever read. i'm 14 and gay with only a few people that know but now i'm going to do what ever i want with who ever i want without caring who knows and who dosen't know. I thank you and congratulate yoou on such a marvolous story if only it ws true. Date: 06/24/2007 09:10 AM Title: Pillow Talk Reviewer: PJ xxx Fantastic. Eagerly awaiting the next story. Date: 06/13/2007 09:12 AM Title: Pillow Talk Reviewer: Dismas aka Ben This is a very good story that tells about true love and when I first read this story I gave it a 2 thumbs up and I give alot of credit to the preson who wrote this story and thanks for writing it. Date: 06/11/2007 07:36 PM Title: A Helping Hand Reviewer: dyllane and brad YAY well done Brian n Aaron and good luck goes to Chuck & Billy and i hope with our heros love n friendship thier parents do fully love n support Chuck n Billy xxx123 dyllsnbrad Date: 06/06/2007 06:53 PM Title: A Helping Hand Reviewer: Adrian Michaels WOW! That was really amazing. Totally cool how you turned a chance encounter into something really meaningful. Date: 06/06/2007 09:23 AM Title: Recovery Reviewer: dyllane and brad Awww it nice to see that Aaron really is starting to recover That boy sure had us worried for a time.you know the saddest thing is that young people like "Jimmy" are taught by family and friends it's ok to be hurtful towards gay people and aren

"Nice wet chapter" I enjoyed writing the part where Helen informs Jansen and Keith what they have done: Tequilad the Eric. So, we have an erupting volcano, a tequilad Eric... what could possibly go wrong? Will Jansen and Keith decide to throw Eric in the volcano, or will they decide to throw themselves in instead? Okay, any guesses what the mercenary's real mission is? There are clues to it in the chapters. I'll give a hint; it's The Scar who tells use what we need to know to figure out exactly what he's after, though a little technical knowledge might be needed. Any guesses as to how the plotlines (Eric's and The General's) come back together? Thanks!!! CJ

Steve, take care of your health before all else. Actually, ceasing nicotine can TEMPORARILY impact concentration. Give it time, and hang in there! We're pulling for you!!!

Just about every story, on this board or off, gay or mainstream, is a cliche to some degree, IMHO. I don't believe that a plot should be avoided just because it's been oft used before. Sure, moving is a common beginning, but it is also a common occurrence in life. So, though there surely are bad ways to handle it, sometimes it is a perfect fit, superbly done. Why, in fact, one that had that aspect to it won GA's top writing honor last year (The aforementioned Living in Surreality, a superb story) . I would surmise that one reason moving is often used is that a good story has a clear beginning and ending, and the move is certainly one way of gaining a clear demarcation. Just my three cents (should be two, but goats can't count).

Well, as I recall, the readers of the story that had a scene like you describe were planning on lynching, roasting, and otherwise painfully torturing the author, and that was with the resolution in the next chapter. The chapter ending in question, assuming Graeme and I have the same story in mind, went like this;

Glad to see things are looking up! But, ummm, why would Graeme come after ME for your spoiler?!?!!? umm, speaking of which, Graeme, SPOILER!!! BTW, love the lyrics. They fit.

Hi AJ!! Thank you, and welcome to the forums!!! Chapter 23 will be out soon, (something less than ten minutes form now, unless the final check turns up problems).

Posting note: Chapter 23, Unseen Eyes, will be online withing the hour. I'm just double-checking some details.

CHANGE TO CHAPTER 22!!! I mixed up flights two and three in that one reference! Fixed now!! THANK YOU for pointing it out. That's the kind of small goof that can have major negative effects: it made it utterly confusing, and worse, contradictory. I am so glad you caught that. Okay, let me try and clarify. The planes were named in order of planned launch. Flight one, the old wreck, goes first. It has seven pallets plus garage door openers installed in its cargo bay, plus the lemons, plus the corpses. Flight two, the one containing just fuel, goes second. Flight Three is the mission aircraft, and also has pallets loaded. The pallets either contain grenade jars, or chemical jars, 500 to a pallet, for 8000 total. (5000 grenade, 3000 chemical). There is one exception; there will be one pallet, the 7th on flight one, that contains something else entirely. Flight one therefor contains 3000 mayonnaise jars, while Flight Three contains 5000. One of the two loads is a mix of different kinds of jars (chemical or grenade). And yes, I'm being vague about which plane carries what. The JATO packs are mounted to the sides of Flight Three, in standard configuration (pointing aft and slightly down, with a thrust vector through the aircrafts' center of gravity). They won't be used for launching the jars. The Sudan is the Scar's main base. We haven't seen it in the story yet, but he has an airfieild there. Think of it as a distribution hum for his arms biusness. (And the source of some of the weaponry, such as the grenades, etc) The package mentioned from Malta, that came via sudan, is the one from the Bill to the General. it contained the laptop computers, garage door openers, etc. CJ

Some great speculation upthread. BTW, sorry to do this, but it is looking like we will likely have a posting delay of a day or two. I have been horribly late, again, and also I need to mesh parts of the chapter with some scenes I haven't written yet. I need to make sure everything matches up. Well, at least we are in a nice, restful spot in the story in which to relax and enjouy this very brief pause. Oh, BTW, the name of the chapter is Unseen Eyes.

I'm glad everyone had fun. And I doubled over laughing when I saw the name of the venue! Wish I could have been there... One of these day's I'll make it to one of these things, but events have conspired to keep me away from the prior ones, and this one too.

I've been following this thread with interest. Thank you to all who have weighed in. My own method varies. It has also changed over time. When I first started writing, I'd write the end of the last chapter, scene, or epilogue first. I would then try to make a detailed outline. Then, I would begin, and try to follow the outline. In this, I was usually not sucessfull, as the plot tended to change and evolve as I wrote. I then began using the outline only as a guide, and also as a convenient place to make notes. (for example, something happening in the last half of the novel that needs to be set up in chapter two). I do use character sheets, in order to keep track of small details (eye color, for example). One thing that helps me work past writer's block is to change what I'm working on. I either jump ahead to a different part of the novel, or go work on a different story, until my subconscious can sort out the answer to whatever was giving me a problem. This results in me often writing chapers out of sequence, but so long as I refrain from posting them that way, it seems to work. Sometimes, when I know the ending of a scene but not how to get there, I'll write the last paragraph and then write my way to the beginning, working backwards one paragraph at a time. Recently, I've moved away from using a detailed outline and now just sketch out a few notes on plot aspects. For short stories, I generally don't use an outline at all, except for the one in my head. In one case, I was "aided" by being fairly drunk at the time, after a Christmas party. I like to use short stories to try new things, or different styles. My first third-person attempt was a short story, as was my first second-person story. So, I suppose I have to say that I have no fixed way of writing, just a hodge-podge of methods that I pick and choose from to suit my muse's moods. I certainly can't recommend my methods to anyone but myself. They are admittedly oddball, but then again, so am I. The real key, in my opinion, is to find what works best for you.

A belated Happy Birthday, Robbie!! Have fun.

ROFL!!! Yes, I have been to La Palma. Trouble is, I was very young at the time and barely remember it. It was just a day excursion from a neighboring island, and I vaugely remember visiting the water tunnels in the north of La Palma. I have no idea if I was in the area of that resort, and if I was, it was likly before it was built. I don't think I've been on that beach. But ROFL, I never noticed that there was a photo posted by "Benji"! And I had looked at that photo before, too.

Cliffhangers?!?!!? What cliffhangers?!?!? So I had some dancing at a wedding (last line of the chapter). That's normal, right? The package from Malta is the one from Bill (The General's friend in the NSA, he's in some early chapters). Bill sent it to Malta, where the Scar sent the Herc to pick it up. Here's the bit that describes most of the contents,

I just wanted to let y'all know, that the first chapters of Jake should be in Beta any day now. As one might guess from reading the short story (which will serve as the novel's prologue) Jake is a bit difficult to write. It a more "mainstream" gay fiction, I think, and less action-adventure than my prior novels. Ok, now for something many won't be happy about, but I have to do. "Jake" will be appearing in GA's Premium Contentsection. I have to do this; the Premium Content services are how we are raising money to keep GA open. I have to help, and so I made the decision that I'd post Jake there. I will by no means be abandoning my free site! Changing Lanes will continue. I'll also begin a new novel when Changing Lanes finishes. (I won't say what, because I haven't made up my mind yet). Please do consider joining Premium Content. We are doing this in order to keep GA open. CJ

ROFL!! Yes, I have once again proven that I cannot count. Five plus three is not, in fact, five. But, as you mention, counting on hooves is most difficult when one exceeds four, so that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it. I couldn't use peanut butter jars. They wouldn't fit the grenades.

Have fun in the Poconos! Hope you enjoy the chapter. I think its a good one for a relaxing read. BTW, a special note of thanks: Due to the holidays and some real-world events, I was horrendously late in completing the draft of this chapter. That's why I mentioned in the last thread that it would likely be late. It is only due to a stellar performance by every member of my team that it is online today. They did a fantastic job.

I truly hate doing this, especially because it was a very careless slip on my part, but I've changed chapter 14 of Changing lanes. Previously, the Scar mentioned that the General had requested 5000 empty mayonnaise jars. The chapter has been changes so that the number is now eight thousand. I apologize for this. I can't get into too many details (Why this is important will be evident soon enough) but the slip was my own stupid fault; five thousand plus three thousand does not equal 5000! Anyway, the change has been made. Sorry about that. CJ

Just a note on views... those include non-members, who cannot post. Sorry James, just saw this thread now.

Wildone!!! You link the post, but you ignore what it says!! Yes, I did actually admit that, due to influences beyond my control, there was a cliffhanger in one of my chapters. So, ya see, the real culprit here is that I, agaionst my will, was thrust into Shadowgod's cliffhanging throne, and it is giving me vertigo! It teeters on the very edge of the malevolent precipices, and it pushes me to create cliffhangers! It's totally unatural for me, as I, as we all know, would never willingly use a cliffhanger. Isn't it time that Shadowgod was restored to his rightful place? Or perhaps the royal sceptre should be passed to Graeme or some other worthy recipient. But not me... I'm scared of heights! So, there ya have it... my public admission that, yes, under the influence of the dark one's throne, I did succumb to its siren song and write.. a cliffhanger. Please, please, free me from the influence of that throne, so that I may return to my normal, natural, non-cliffhanger writing... Please???

That's the idea, but the concept of block-voting is to decide early between Shadowyness and Graeme, and then all vote for one of the two, in order to get them their award and crown. So, who shall it be, Graeme or Shadowgod? I'll throw my support behind whichever of the two y'all pick.

Perhaps we should have some kind of a tiebreaker, and pick which one we should all support? (It's called block-voting, and it can work!) Want to give it a try? What say you all?

Tsk, Tsk, now, now, Shadowyness, that post by Cynic merely asked a question, so its probably not a nomination. Okay, okay, let's end all the dissension. Can't we all just come together, united for the common good, and support Shadowgod for King of Cliffhangers? Or, what about Graeme? It's his first year of eligibility for King of Cliffhangers. Let the campaign begin!