Oh, man, you're preaching to the choir, buddy. I heard the same stuff when I first entered the community. It was truly confusing. I got a lot of attention, but most of them thought I was just playing at being gay... especially since I had four kids. I agree it is exhausting, but I did develop some great friendships... many of them drag queens actually. They didn't mind I didn't fit the mold. I never expected to find exclusion in a group that had been persecuted for so long--should have known better because people are people first no matter who they are--but I did learn there was a lot of bitterness and distrust, and once you won them over, they were some of the best people I've ever known.
Maybe that's why I identify so much with Jubal too. Lol... yeah, Abercrombie does not make good workwear... I'm a Carhartt guy myself.
I did write a story callled Exes and Ohs which dealt with some of the stuff I faced back when... that attitude that I had to be bi, that I couldn't be gay. I think you might be able to relate to it. Your comment about individuality is interesting... check out my signature quote... it says basically the same thing.
I'm a beer guy at heart... Miller Lite... but an I.P.A sounds good... though they pack more wallop than I am used to. Lately I'm more of a tumbler of red wine kind of guy, but I would gladly share a beer with you. Of course, I would want to see your horses first. Cheers!