Headstall

This was my favorite chapter so far. I loved the interaction between Cindy and Chase. The conversation with Stacey was revealing as well. Yea, Hank does love Chase still. You can't turn that off right away, no matter how hurt you've been. You make a great point about Chase not realizing his actions were another rejection to someone who is hurt. But again, that is the depression, clouding the picture. This chapter shows some promise for Chase, but he still has a long way to go. I understand you wanting hope... every reader does... but I am telling a difficult story here, a real one, and it is uncomfortable at times, but I promise you the journey will be satisfying, even if it doesn't proceed in the way everyone might want. Hang in there, my friend. Cheers!

All Dr. Chorney was saying was give Hank time to work through his feelings... and the horrendous shock of seeing Chase in the bathroom stall with another man. I don't see that as game playing. You know, Terry, in my experience, depression is all about failure. Out tools are taken away from us by this illness, and coping becomes a minefield. So, we will drop the ball again and again until we find what we need to get control back. I think you have a good read on the situation as it stands now--Hank is definitely trying to protect himself--but I warn you. There will be more stuff that doesn't make sense. Depression isn't rational, and as you well know, it has a habit of overwhelming us. I hope you are enjoying this. Cheers and much thanks... G.

Wow! You're really getting into this. That's great, but don't forget to just lose yourself in the reading. I think the best point I can make is that we must remember, depression plays with us and manipulates us. We have been watching depression in action, and that is what I wanted to show. The whole point is we are not always rational when we suffer from it or its partner grief. You're right that these men still love each other, and both are hurting. Neither man came out unscathed by Christine's ordeal. I am so glad you brought up the conversation with Cindy. That was an important one, and gives balance to Chase's character. In this we can still see the depression, but we can also see past it to an extent. I do not believe Chase used his depression to manipulate anyone. I feel strongly he was at the mercy of it and his inconsolable grief. As the story unfolds, I hope you will see that, but for now, you really shouldn't. You shouldn't even really like these people... or maybe that is wrong to say. Maybe it is better to say you should have trouble understanding them, because neither man is in a strong place, because they suffer. Anyway, I appreciate how engaged you are, and I won't apologize for this rollercoaster. Thanks so much, buddy.

Thanks, Terry. I appreciate you returning to this despite earlier trepidation. You story(both aspects) is not so different from mine. As a child I took on most of the responsibilities of my family, because my mother wasn't capable at the time. She suffered from sever depression, and the 'cures' only seemed to make it worse. It wasn't till she got pregnant with my sister that things turned around, but for those years prior, I was in hell. I was also abused by an ex. I don't want to get into here, but I do understand where you are coming from. People plays games, and that's a fact. It is particularly hard for the good ones to handle loving one who can be cruel or detached. This story stirs emotions, and I think that is because most of us can relate to grief, depression, infidelity, and closing ourselves off... humans often cut off their noses to spite their face, as the saying goes. Past experiences can make us not trust, or even jump the gun as an avoidance to getting hurt. We let things pile up, and we stop communicating. All of this you will find in this story, but you will find more too. There is bravery and strength and self reflection and... a lot. Thanks for the truly kind praise for my character development. I am humbled. Cheers!

Hi, Terry. Busy day for me. Stripped wallpaper today, and then again this evening. It's all done now. Good night... thanks for the great review of "Dirty Pool"

Good night, pissant. Mike calls Nate that.

Night, Albert. Sweet dreams, buddy.

Oh oh. I'm staying out of this one.

Thanks, Terry. People like Carl have no moral center, so it's unlikely he will change, but if I can redeem other characters like , maybe I shouldn't judge him too harshly. Yes, Danny is the hope, but Duncan and Leon fixed this on their own... with a little help from Kelly and Martin. The important thing too is that Leon arranged for the adoption on his own, as a single dad... and that just verifies he was telling the truth all those times he said he wanted family. I love this story, so am really pleased you found it. I wrote it while on a bike ride, and even had the dialogue in my head until I got it written down. As you know, I feel very comfortable writing dialogue, and this dialogue, while rapid-fire challenging, was fun. Kelly is a hoot. Appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this one, my friend. Cheers!

I'm still confused about that.

It was warm and sunny here. A perfect day really.

I'm doing okay. I just keep working away, and slowly making headway. I must say I miss hearing about @Marty's house/garden renovations. I wonder how he's doing. More than that, I wonder why he left us so abruptly.

I stripped wallpaper today. What fun... not.

"Mummy" had me wondering for a split second, but then I thought, no, it can't possibly be. You left a lot of clues, but kept the surprise for me till the end. This was simply marvelous, northie. I think Lizzie would have found this 'amusing'. I know I did. So innovative, and so well written. Thanks for this. Cheers!

Thank you, my friend. I truly appreciate hearing that, but the fact is I am disappointed in myself.

So much apple to eat? Love that! Mrs. B is such a wonderful character to write. She is a combination of some special women in my life, feisty and curious, and her heart is open. Hormones have powerful, confusing effects when they hit full force, and Nate really needed this talk with his uncles. He'll get used to it... he has no choice. Michael... yeah... he always surprises me with how deeply he feels. He's a special man, and I like special men. Acceptance. Yeah, that describes this chapter perfectly. Stop making you cry? What would be the fun in that, buddy. Cheers! G.

It's been making mine too, Dan, seriously. I love this story, and it makes me feel so good when a new reader gets caught up in it and shares their thoughts. Do I regret leaving it? Yes. Do I regret writing "Morningstar: The Malaise"? Absolutely not! I truly stretched my wings and created something very special, a story I believe I will be remembered for. I also left to write "Exes and Ohs", another story I am proud of, but it was not intentional. I lost my word program when my computer died and lost access to my files, and a half finished chapter, for a time. So I wrote something new on Google Docs (on an old laptop) to keep me busy. It snowballed. I still haven't given up on finishing this story, though. As satisfied as I am with where I left them (a place I intended to leave them all along), I feel bad for those who are disappointed in me. The muse exists, and it is a funny thing... mine can't be controlled. So glad you are considering Morningstar. Cheers, my friend.

Happy Wednesday, all!

Merde! He sounds like a real creep. He belongs in jail. Sorry, Tink.

Yeah, some readers had to wait a long time while I took a break and wrote "Morningstar". I would never leave a story again until it was finished... it's just too hard to focus, especially when bad luck strikes. I had so much fun with this chapter, though. It was a bout family, and that is Christmas for me. Thanks again for all the support you've given this story, Dan. Cheers!

Lol. Ah... maybe I'll think on it before I pinky swear. One day I plan to edit the entire story. But, for now I will leave the giggles.

Bodie's parents have been through a lot, and I love how open Mira is. She is so thankful her son is happy again. I'm pleased your worry turned to wonder. A great big wave of hopefulness is a nice way to put this journey. It's really what I wanted when I started this. I was tired of reading and watching tragedy, awful people, and drug addicts when it came to gay stories. I vowed to myself this would be different... this would be for me. You're right... there are too many giggles in this chapter especially. I need to edit a few of them out. Appreciate this thoughtful comment, my friend. Cheers... Gary....

Thanks, Dan! Sometimes we need a chapter that allows us to catch our breath. Good tension is okay, though. I was saving that Lily story for months when I was writing this. It ended up working out perfectly. Glad you were happy with this one. Cheers!

Saint Kendall strikes again! I believe he had a profound effect on Candy, and that is what got her here. I think we can trust that this new Candy is real. I know what you mean about the young couple and Kleenex... they get to me too, but K and M can still start my waterworks up. A great ride is all I need to hear, Dan. Thank you!

I must admit I got a bit misty-eyed rereading this chapter just now. So glad you feel these special moments like I do. I love how direct Michael can be. He keeps it light, but Bodie and Nate don't doubt his seriousness. Telling this chapter from Bodie's POV really gave us some insights into him and how he feels. Shepherds pie is traditional for sure, but I think it depends on your background. Us Scottish/English/Irish mix folks eat it as a staple, but I've had friends who'd never tasted it before eating at my place. I actually never knew it was appreciated by Aussies, but it makes sense. Thanks for another wonderful, rewarding comment, buddy. Please remember to leave a Story Like on the front story page if you don't mind. Cheers!