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Initiate Scribe (4/14)

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  1. Two links on the Home page that I found useful are no longer there: the one to Completed Stories link and another to Classic Authors. Now to get to the latter takes only one more click/tap, but a bunch to get the former. It would be nice to get those direct links back on the home page.
  2. PaulP

    Chapter 1

    If there's one thing we know about Dabeagle's characters it's that they can develop, adapt and grow over the course of the narrative.
  3. PaulP

    Chapter 3

    Re: speculations. I'll just repeat what I wrote privately to Dabeagle after reading the whole thing via the “read ahead” service available on his own site. (Note: NO spoilers.) We're still getting to know people.
  4. Stories whose first grammar error is in the title.
  5. PaulP

    Chapter 1

    That's because it's dealing with plausible, complex characters in plausible situations that drive character development rather than just providing excuses for between-the-sheets action and gratuitous drama.
  6. PaulP

    Chapter 5

    I love Parker's relationship with his folks.
  7. PaulP

    Chapter 11

    This is the comment I made on Dabeagle's forum when the story completed there: You handled the underlying concept perfectly, I think, by concentrating on the how the protagonist handled the two big challenges: how to change the perceptions of people who knew the old Drake, and more importantly, how to re-live his own early life better and more rewardingly than he had the first time around. You didn't get bogged down in the mechanics of alternate reality or in going into how the protagonist's old family might have fit into it, or if they even existed. Frankly the former would have bored me and the latter would have been an unnecessary distraction from the real story. I'm glad you didn't ignore the novelty of such apparent maturity in such a young person but instead had characters directly address it by marveling at it as just that, a remarkable novelty. A whole sub-plot of suspicions of cosmic weirdness would have been another unnecessary distraction. Characterizations were spot-on and interesting and I didn't feel as if any character was anything like a cardboard stereotype. Henry Burgess, the house director, could have become one, but even he eventually, grudgingly, accorded Drake a degree of respect. The closest to being a gay teenage fiction stereotype was Jeremy, but fleshing him out would have been another distraction. The rest of the supporting cast - especially Giles - were a delight. The character I found most affecting in terms of raw empathy was James Murphy. His portrayal as a basically decent person whose lack of self-worth, bordering on self-loathing, subverts his every attempt to build relationships is heart-breaking. That in the end Drake isn't willing to give up on him I think is a real testament to “new” Drake's character.
  8. PaulP

    Chapter 5

    Posted in error.
  9. PaulP

    Stormy Weather

    Jeff reads like a hard-boiled private eye in a Raymond Chandler mystery.
  10. PaulP

    Chapter 3

    You've hit the nail squarely on the head! Both those scenes were extremely well done.
  11. His were among the very first online gay stories I came upon - an experience many have had. After reading his existing work, I started following his ongoing writing regularly, eagerly, in fact. Soon after In the Fishbowl started, it became clear to me that he'd made a major advance, both in characterization and narrative; I think it's the best thing he wrote (though I haven't seen any of his unfinished Premium work). That he'd been experimenting, and putting a great deal of effort into doing so, was, I think, shown by The Other Side of Me. I think this goes along with what Jim has said - writing the way he wanted to took a lot of time and effort, and that was competing with the growing demands of his real-life livelihood. I can also understand his disappointment with some of the reader feedback for In the Fishbowl; I read it at the time, and I felt that it completely missed what was really going on in his writing. But what effect - if any - that had on his decision to stop writing there's no way of telling. The real life/free time conflict seems most likely to me. As for my emotional response to his disappearance, it's one of regret that I won't be able to enjoy any new work of his, but that's it. That being said, I'd be thrilled if he took up writing again.
  12. I'm a long-time fan of Mike Arram's writing. The Count Oskar chapters are showing up first on CRV Boy, BTW.
  13. PaulP

    Busted chapter 42

    These have been a particularly olfactory couple of chapters!
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