Scary
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Everything posted by Scary
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It is sad that adolescents do things such as bullying. I don't even think you exaggerated. It is just like that at high schools. Curious how they will deal with it... . And I really like the chapter quotes. They put the story into deeper context and differentiate the chapters as they outline their individual meanings.
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I like that there is atleast one story here that reminds gay kids to also use condoms because of STDs. I am sure there are other stories that include it, too. But this is the first I could find out of A LOT I've read. But now I am worried that Matt could have bewn infected with something Andy got from Dillon. (e.g. Aids ) Too bad it is already too late into the night for me to continue reading. I'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out.
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Nice chapter as any I have read so far. Though the chapter is still printed twice and without any paragraphs.
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Wow I did already like the first two chapters, but in this one I couldn't spot a single flaw. You develop the characters really well here, setting the stage for later chapters.
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You are creating quite a world there. Keep that up!
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Nicely written. I am waiting for more.
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"Not much action"? Did not even notice that. You somehow manage to mesh everything so well that just anything you write ends up being interesting. And as you pursue one storyline, I do not even miss the others, just because the current one is so intriguing that I can't come to think of anything else. You did also produce a decent make-up for the terrible things that Shay has done. At least he realized it was wrong and seems to have some kind of respect for the danger that his anger holds. I hereby withdraw my previous comment, there is still hope for Shay. Keep up your perfect work, you can't even imagine how much you give me by creating this (despite all the horror that happens) wonderful world that I can dive into thanks to YOU!
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As much as I criticized the last chapters, this one totally made up for any unpleasant thing you may have written. It was just so cool to have Mira do all those things and yeah, also kill those evil people. I don't have a single complaint, just want to read on now.
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I have the same concerns as Sammy. I did not expect Shay to murder those people, even though they might have done terrible things. In my opinion that's what differentiates good people from bad people, good people kill only if it is really necessary - which it wasn't back there. So yeah, I am actually disappointed in this chapter as Shay's act does take a huge amount of sympathy points away from him. You might want to excuse Shay's behavior, but really, his power has corrupted him, he is lost. ;(
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I've got to admit, you got me really worried that this would have entirely different main characters or even take place in another time or smth like that. Two long scenes and no familiar face so far. But that the third scene made up for that. And though I have no idea as to where the first two scenes belong, they are promising and I am waiting to find out where the connection lies. Yugan's storyline ofcourse being more interesting as the other one, because he survives the first chapter instead of dieing horribly. ^^ So far so good, still 9 chapters to read until I will finally suffer from your devilish cliffhangers, too. Won't take too long.
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Uhm, that was unexpected. So I guess the real story will start in the next chapter then, with our protagonist starting his venture for revenge. Interesting.
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Really interesting for fantasy fans such as myself! Definitely well written and it keeps me eager for more, with just the few chapters I could already read.
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Interesting, I like your style, it is pleasent to read. Also I hope to see more of the humour of the prologue, it was nice. My only, minor critcism is that the prologue says that the ancient mage Arcturus is going to tell the story to us, but then it is first person Sabien in the next chapter, which doesn't fit the framework story. I like first person narration though, so keep it up.^^ I am excited to read more.
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Nice chapter. I personally would prefer some more descriptions of the environment, the people and the progress of time, so I could sink more into the story, but on the other hand, it is easy to read the story in the evening even when you've not got that much time. There is definitely some tension, but as the chapters are always very short I couldn't connect to the characters on an emotional level yet. I don't know if that's intended or not, though. However, you keep going and improving, I keep reading!
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That happened to me, too. Some stories are just too addictive.
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Thanks for the nice welcome and hi Artemis.
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Hello everyone, just singed up, but I bet I'll have a lot of fun here. I am looking forward to seeing some of you in the chat soon, so I can get to know the awesome personalities that seem to be around here. Until then, I just wish all of you a nice day.
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