Scary

Somehow you make me feel sorry for every character but Adam. I really like this story but when will he stop leading people on?

I am glad that Mr. Thompson is out of the picture again. That kind of relationship was really too wrong in all kinds of ways for my liking. Hoping to see the next chapter soon.

I am glad that you came back to this story. It's quite interesting and I really like that you actually use French terms and dialog, it let's me test how much French I still know after two years out of school. You also put a good amount of detail into the scenery which makes the story feel more real, I like that. Only critique is that you have not yet let Hugo come to life in my mind. For example in the English lesson it would have helped to describe the shenanigans he was up to in detail. As of now, despite James' impression of Hugo, to me he still seems very distant. Anyways, keep up the good work and I hope to see the next chapter soon!

This really was a beautiful chapter. Especially during the races, it was as if being there. Also longer chapter means longer joy from reading it. And I am already excited for the next chapter, which probably won't take too long since your schedule seems to be pretty reliable. Everything about this story is just great! ^.^

Oh god the cake clip

Did you say this was one of your first stories? You must then be very gifted, because thia is amazing! So much emotion, this LITERALLY made me cry. I would call my parents if it wasn't 4:30 a.m. right now. Seriously, this chapter is just written so right, great job!

Nice chapter! It was easy and pleasant to read. But I don't think this story needs as many cliffhangers as you are putting into it. ^.^ Anyway, keep going, you are doing great!

A great story so far! Though I wonder, will you include some more information on the protagonist? I don't even know his age and did you mention his name before?^^ I am excited to see where this goes, heads up!

*a wild fighting scene appears* I guess those are terrorists now who for some reason decided to start an operation on a relatively well protected kid on an unscheduled trip? Seems pretty unlikely, but hey, I might aswell be wrong and it's fiction after all. Your characters are unsteady, to say the least. I like the main plot and some of the scenes (probably the one to come next I will like a lot), but your protagonists feel very unreal. In chapter 3 Kieran tries to convince Aiden to help him for the sake of all the Mentals, then in chapter 4 Kieran himself doesn't want to help Aiden stop the human experimentaion and rescue his brother because it has nothing to do with Damian. How does that make any sense? So the story feels very unrefined and barely keeps from developing plot holes due to this. I like it but I seriously suggest that you go over them a few more times before posting future chapters because those few last details that are missing in current chapters make them a lot less enjoyable. Whatever, that was just my humble opinion, take from it what you want and please continue producing such interesting content for us GA users to read.

I am very intrigued. Obviously there is a lot of timeshifting in the writing but I guess that will be fixed soon, as you called this a raw version of the chapter. I like the main characters starting out young (makes it easier to sympathize with them for me) and the plot sounds realistic and interesting. I also like your writing style so far (the story is neither moving too slow nor too fast). If this doesn't become one of the many stories where the people with super powers get into problems because they just don't use them (I am reading another one like that right now but I think I can't stand it any longer), which I have a feeling it won't, this may easily become one of my most favorite stories ever. Please don't take too long with new chapters!^^

FINALLY a new chapter, I've been starving for this! So Jordan is better than most gay boys on GA when it comes to changing for gym classes without getting a boner. Though I still don't get why they don't just shut their eyes or look at the wall while changing. I just didn't check the other boys out and I never had a problem in the locker rooms when I still was in school. As drpali mentioned, the Patrick-situation seems very strange to me. Who elects a mayor who can't even keep his own son under control? Or even worse, who supports his son being the school bully? In my opinion that situation should solve itself very quickly if Jordan tells anybody about the incident. Oh and the note. It has to be from someone that Jordan gave his notebook to and who wasn't supervised by hime while having it. So naturally Sean, Josh or Levi, right? That and other things in mind, I suspect Sean to have a crush on Jordan. :3 Please don't let me wait as long for the next chapter, I love this story!

Poor Boris , he has no idea what's coming. Also, I feel sorry for Talia, I want her to find someone just as loving as Carlisle. After all, she doesn't seem to be too bad of a person. Awaiting the next chapter soon!

That was one amazing chapter! I am glad you did not stop writing this story, especially as it know became a lot more interesting with the introduction of Liam. Also I did not notice any more narration time swaps, but maybe I just wasn't paying attention. Anyways, I hope to read more from you soon.

Idon't understand. In the last chapter the two boys did already make out (and did other nasty things) at Nix' 13th birthday. So how comes this is 1 month later but they both act and feel like they never did anything earlier. Are those like alternative story lines? Aside from that, a pleasent read!

Yeah, finally an other update for this story! We've been waiting so long. As to the story itself: Good as always.

I am interested to see if this will become a good story or not. I remember Portal as a funny game, but I have only played it for about half an hour, so the story is still a big mystery to me. But if this anything like "Someone like me" I am in for a treat. Just look over the story description again, there are quite a few typos. ^^

A nice chapter, I am sure there will be a lot of interesting stuff going on once they reach the capital island! I also noticed that you mostly write in present tense, which is okay, but it might be better for you to switch to past tense, as you seem to slip back to it from time to time anyways and that usually sounds better.

This is a very well structured introduction to a potentially long story, though I would still like some information on the looks of our main character and his dragon. You mentioned Irion's long hair a lot, but how long is it exactly? That would make it a lot easier for me to imagine all the things that happen visually. Also, pleassse decide whether you want to write in present or in past tense. As it is now, you switch between the two a lot when it is not appropriate. I am not used to silly mistakes like that from you! ;P Anyways, I like the theme a lot and I hope to read many new chapters in the future.

Amazing! That chapter was a real treat, I am so eager to read the next one! Also I am not a hundred percent sure, but I think I am still rooting on Sean.

A good chapter, but I expected a little more after months of waiting. This feels like only half a chapter, so where is the rest?

In real life I think the most likely reason for Jack's strange behavior would be, that he just is not gay, but doesn't want to lose Zane as he is the only one who seems to like him. So in order to not lose his friend, he plays along. But that won't work out. Anways, as this is not real life but fiction, there might be something else.

I think I'd already be so annoyed with Jack that I'd look somewhere else for a boyfriend, but I for my part have never actually seen those huge puppy eyes of Jack, maybe if I had, I couldn't resist them either? So far this is alright, some spelling errors here and there (like Zane asking "You're sister?" instead of "Your sister?" when they talk about video games) but nothing major. Keep going!

At first I wanted to stop reading when I saw it was third person. I am glad I didn't. You handled everything very well, introduced the characters (btw nice way of giving a hint at Zane being gay), set a potential plot and included a healthy amount of humor. When you first introduce Jack, there is a phrase "I mean" which doesn't really fit to third person, it would sound better if you cut that. Other than that, perfect. I am hoping to see more from you soon!

I don't think that there is much for me to say here. From time to time I try to emphasize with the "evil alien beings that try to kill all humans". Reading the last scene here, I came to think that they are on some level not that different from humans. I could imagine a story written from their view. The plot is quite simple: A bunch of clerics deal with the problem of cleansing the world of Demons so they don't destroy it. Anyways, I can't wait to see the next chapter.

Now this makes much more sense. And I suppose since the two compelled guys are scrupulous thieves who attacked Will first, it is not as bad as compelling innocent people.