MrM

Don’t worry, I cry each time I read this too!

Thanks Darlin Dahlia’! Chandler is necessary for later things concerning Brandon. So much so that I’ve started his facet of the story in his own entry called In Chandler’s Hands. He is the true older gay friend I wished I’d had growing up and struggling. Later in life, looking back in my 20-20 hindsight, I actually did have one or two ‘Chandlers’ in my life who were instrumental in getting me to the next stage of my development and, remembering their council, it comes through Chandler here. Hopefully, he’s a template for what any of us adult gay guys can be for our kids. Because, all Gay children are our kids in a way. Everyone needs a roll model growing up and its important for us to be that for someone if we can. Comsie sneaks in his own ‘Chandlers’ quite often in a lot of his stories. One such ‘Chandler’ is Comicality himself from GFD! I think, in Billy’s case though, he’s referencing a boy with a very strong center who sees what he wants and has the courage to pounce on it, even if he tends to leap before he looks! He rarely questions his own state of being. He questions what he does to other people and tries to learn from his mistakes and do better, but he does not have the fracture in him that Brandon has within himself. Billy is more apt to question those who have authority over him who tell him who he is ‘supposed’ to be. Billy recognizes that he is what he is and anybody that doesn’t agree with that is, basically, wrong! His insecurities come from trying to avoid these people so that he can live his life as he wants to live it while understanding that he’s still a ‘kid’ and has to tough things out until he can finally get free of things. Brandon doesn’t even have his center yet! Brandon questions himself! All his life he has been taught that one can’t trust themselves when it comes to their desires. It is a very Catholic attitude. You must not want what you want because what you want is almost always wrong! MINDFUCK TIME! You can see through this in his horrified reactions to getting caught and staying secret when he and Billy finally get together. Brandon is not only hiding from his Dad’s judgement of him, but also he is hiding from his conditioning that keeps beating him with “What you are doing is evil. What you are doing is a sin. What you are is evil. What you are is sin!” In this way, Brandon is me. This, topped with the devastating loss of his mother and the partial loss of his dad to grief, has left Brandon something of a shattered mess! He needs a Chandler!

Case in point: I recorded Empathy Test on Friday. I didn't realise it until Isaac Howlett, the lead singer here, said that the performance I saw was their first in the US as they were allowed to tour with a more US known indie act. Empathy Test has crowd funded two of their albums and, to me, they are one of the best bands I've ever heard! I love to include them on a number of my soundtrack thingies I do for stories because, oddly, their music ties in so well to a lot of plot lines I reference in those playlists. Excuse the somewhat shaky video, I was using my iPhone and trying not to wiggle dance too much :

Brian, many years later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm a few minutes from home in Fælledparken, a lovely park near central Copenhagen where I have lived and worked for these many years. It is here that we moved after we were married in Kakslauttanen and enjoyed a long honeymoon with my Snowflake's family. Such precious memories . . . I'm sitting on our bench, here, looking at the lake and the beautiful fountain at its center. Denmark is such a gorgeous place in Autumn, though the cold comes

Snowflake ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Haloo! Hehehehe!" I turned. For a short second, I saw him standing there in the snow and then he ran off back into the trees quicker than a wink! I thought for sure that I was seeing things. After my emotional ‘outing' with Brian earlier in the day, I had to think that it was my overwrought mind playing tricks on me in the constant twilight. But, my crystal clear eyes are adapted for these conditions. Growing up here, the semi-dark, with the snow and th

I salute you, Thorn! You are more than good enough to be published anywhere, but I do agree that there is a definite bent by 'Serious Publishers' to avoid Gay stories and authors at all costs. Many Gay and Allied authors take to including gay themes into there stories as central parts of their plots, but do not market them as 'Queer Fiction' as a category. Anne Rice, one of my muses, was a pioneer in getting Gay content published through her Vampire Chronicles. But, since her genre was 'horror' the publishers felt safe to push her Interview With A Vampire forward even with the edgy content. It was the 70s, though, and that was a much richer time for authors to find acceptance and have creative freedom than today. The world of publishing has become so corporatised that, just like music, if it doesn't fall within a very narrow band of 'Publishable' parameters, then they won't even bother with it. I think it was brilliant of Amazon to create a self-publishing system to give we 'underground' authors a chance! ~~~~~~ "And of course, self-publishing comes with a necessity for self-marketing, which can easily be seen as narcissistic." I know that @Comicality self-publishes his stuff and has a whole blog, forum, and website universe dedicated to marketing his stories and supporting others in the Gay Teen Romance genre. It is one of the reasons his stuff is some of the best known out of our 'tribe' here. I am a big supporter of shameless self-promotion . We work hard on our stuff and if nobody else is going to put us out there to see then we have to do it our own damn selves! Comsie has encouraged me to self-publish as he does. He thinks my stuff is marketable enough to draw paying readers. I am seriously considering it but, like you Thorn, I consider it a plunge in the dark. It will take courage. So, again, I applaud your courage and I shall make you another role model for success as a Gay Author! This week I just completed one of my longest running stories and, after some editing, revisioning, and plot normalisation, I may make it my first self-published title. I believe in this story and have a feeling it might work as a good start. It has all the right flavour notes for a Gay Romance, for my tastes anyways.

Yes. Comsie has been sidetracked by technical issues with his computer so he's trying very hard to get his updates to everything in order. I've been dealing with some illness and real life crap this summer so my output has also been way down. I apologise, I'll have more Brandon coming up soon. I did just finish one of my long running stories, Snowflake, so once I have that finalised and published I'll probably work to finish up Blog #1 for Brandon so we can get on to some 'Hot Buttered Boy Love,' as The Master calls it, in Blog #2.

ChanChan is a boner-fied bully smasher. This, also, has not been his first run in with Karl and, later Jason. Some of that is surfaced in the spin off to Brandon and Billy Chase:

I can tell you of my Dark Passengers through a story I’m getting set to write for Halloween this year. You might call them .... Legion! This time Death wears many faces

I have a someone like that. He's into me in that way, but I'm not into him that way. It's sad, really. He's such a nice and good person. He is a compliment to everything I am. Steady, focused, calm, collected. LOL But, I just don't have the 'hots' for him. I think he does me for some reason. Maybe not as much as a couple of years ago though. I've been having weight issues recently and he's a health fanatic.

Well there are OTHER things more satisfying, but we shouldn’t get into that now. I was talking about EATING the bread you pervs!

Actually, your point is, of course, quite valid and having such technology to allow folks who can’t knead or mix things by hand is a wonderful thing. I shall, myself, be needing to use the KitchenAid I have after the next few years. My carpel tunnel syndrome in my right hand is starting to worsen and after the surgery I probably won’t be able to do much more than type and hopefully write with my hand again. I am right handed so that will be a problem for any strength bearing activities with that hand for a long while. That said, if a person is able to do so, I would greatly encourage folks to knead bread at least once in their lives. It is one of the most natural and satisfying things a person can do and a great workout!

Yes, but I’m mean, judgey, and unsympathetic to the weaknesses of huuumons! So There! 😈

This is a nice thing to pair with the salad. I use whole wheat along with the bread flower to make it a little more fortified. I'll share it as the video because it is what I used to learn how to make home made pita bread. I like that the dough is kneaded by hand the way it should be. Not with a freaking KitchenAid. Also, I like this video, because Akis is freaking HAWT! I told him as much as a comment and he gave me a virtual heart, so .... I may have to move to Greece now.

That's the beauty of it! I learned how to make it when I used to be able to grow things. I can only grow my fresh herbs now coz of urban living with Twinks that don't eat.

This is a staple of mine during the summer months when the major components of this recipe are at their seasonal freshness. To change things up, use cantaloupe, watermelon, or another favourite melon of your choice. They are ‘cucumbery’ because cucumbers and melons are cousins! You can actually mix both together for something very interesting texturally! Καλοκαιρινή σαλάτα Kalokairiní saláta Summer Salad (also known as Village Salad) Main Ingredients: 1 English Cucumber, peeled or unpeeled per your taste, seeds removed, cubed 1/2 of a red onion, peeled and diced 2 pref. Home grown or organically grown, naturally ripened on the vine tomatoes or those little grape tomatoes from the store, cut into bite sizes. If grape tomatoes, slice in half so that the juices mix with the cucumbers and onions. 1 garlic clove, grated or minced 1/4 Cup of chopped parsley 1/4 Cup of chopped mint, if available 2 Tbsp. Of chopped fresh greek oregano or 1 Tbsp. Dried oregano Salt and Pepper 1/4 Cup virgin Greek olive oil, first pressing if available 3 Tbsp of balsamic or red wine vinegar Plating Garnishes, all optional: A bed of greens of your choice. Whole leaf spinach and Romaine lettuce are my personal favourites. Grilled chicken, fish, octopus, or other seafood or poultry. Nuts of your choice. Walnuts or Pistachios are traditional for the Turkish version of this salad. Sliced goat or sheep Greek imported Feta cheese from whole brined block, if available. Regular crumbled is ok, just not as creamy and delicious. Whole Kalamata Olives with pits, because they taste better. Remember to serve off to the side of the plate or in separate bowl so that diners won’t mix them in the salad and bite down on one and break their teeth. Extra salt, pepper, vinegar, and oil to taste A dusting of extra oregano, mint, and basil leaves if you prefer. Mix all main ingredients in a glass bowl or container. I prefer to use a glass Rubbermaid container because this salad actually gets better when left to marinate in the refrigerator. It can keep for a week this way! When plating, layer your salad first on a bed of your chosen greens, then the Summer Salad mixture, then the optional meat and/or Feta cheese. Drizzle and sprinkle with vinegar, oil, salt, pepper, and herbs. Serve Kalamata Olives off to the side of the plate or in a separate bowl possibly with another slice of Feta and an extra dusting of herbs if you like. Serve to guests and make sure you keep a plate for yourself aside because when I make this salad it usually disappears virtually instantaneously.

I store most of my work on ICloud and they don’t review anything there. Those that read my stuff know that it can get quite racey. If all that you have is above board and not in any way illegal in the US and A then no one is going to bother you. ICloud’s simply a network drive to store stuff. They don’t have ‘community standards’ other than whatever standards the law insists upon which covers your local drives too and, these days, ALL of that stuff is subject to investigation if the Gob.ment decides it needs to screw with you. The sucky thing about ICloud is that you have to subscribe with real-live-money if you want to expand your share space. You get a rather large amount of space when you sign-up, but any more than that you have to pay for. I agree with @Shadow086 that Apple is a better way to go. It isn’t as good as it once was, but it’s rate of degeneration has been much slower than that of Windows. Each new version of Windows that comes out I lose shtuff. I live in fear that if my autobackups fail that I’ll lose work. It shouldn’t happen to a dog. I’ve not had these issues with any of my Apple products and ICloud is cool because it allows me to access my stories from anywhere on any of my Apple devices. So, the only excuses I have for being slow in writing are personal issues like illness, writer’s block, idiot roommates, and indolence.

I made a convert of a Millennial Truther using this film which, I argue, is the best retrospective ever made of the Apollo 11 mission. I always fight vigorously against such truthers because my dad worked the Atlas Missile program for fifiteen years before the Mercury System was put up on the launch pad. Here in San Diego an entire area of the city was developed due to this project. If you are familiar with San Diego at all you may have heard of the communities of Kearny Mesa, Linda Vista, Claremont, Tierrasanta . . . All of these areas were subdivision projects for all the engineers, electricians, scientists, mechanics, support, etc. that came by their hundreds to work the General Dynamics Astronautics project. The whole of Kearny Mesa was dedicated to the facility that, seriously, looked like Area 51 and was, in its time, perhaps just as top secret because of the missile development done there. My entire childhood my Dad would take me out to Astronautics and would tell me the stories of meeting Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong as well as Wernher von Braun who founded the whole project in the 50s. What happened on August 20, 1969 was as real as the day is long! The San Diego I remember as a kid came to exist because of that project! You’d not see any of what lingers of those days now thanks to San Diego’s penchant for erasing its past and replacing it with banal things like condos and day care centers. But the structure of what Astronautics created still exists and all those that move here think that these places have ‘always been here.’ General Atomics, SPAWAR, Illumina, Raytheon, Qualcomm, SONY Game Development, etc. all have to thank Astronautics and Apollo 11 for their existence today. When idiots tell me that spending money on space travel is ‘foolish and wasteful’ I go into my litany of how the Space Program BUILT modern America and the modern world we know today! We wouldn’t have half the technology we have today if not for the Apollo Mission! Scientists and Engineers need a great inspiring goal to work toward to do whatever is necessary, invent whatever is necessary, believe whatever is necessary to reach that goal! There was, in the time of America’s Renaissance, no higher (literally) goal than to put men on the moon! When we did that, the magnificent fallout of knowledge and technology we earned in the reaching for that goal are still laurels we still rest on to this very day! Computers, Smart Phones, microwave ovens, new high-energy medical technologies, enclosed air systems, I could go ON AND ON!

I love this series so much that I got into After Effects and made a ‘movie teaser’ for it in hopes that, someday, Martin Scorsese, Christopher Nolan, or Francis Ford Coppola wills see it, get inspired to read this series, and turn it into the blockbuster it needs to be. Vampires never get boring IF they are done right and Comsikins knows vampires better than Bram Stoker!

I'd love to see Disney World. I've been to Disneyland enough times being a native to SoCal, but Disney World is just, well, another world! Oh, just for some fodder for dreams and inspiration here is a patented romantic Southern California sunset to fall in love to. Welcome to the Hotel California! Such a lovely place.

Ah, the master world builder makes yet another world! Beautiful start! I like the various tangential references you’ve made here. 😝

Why are YOU sorry? You didn't do anything! Fucking Microcrap again. That's one of many reasons I switched over to Apple. I just couldn't deal anymore. They've screwed me raw over the years and I just got tired of it. I hope you get everything back! May all be made right. So it is written! So it is done!

Dark, bitter, sweet, chocolate . . . whatever I'LL TAKE IT! Thanks, Luv! 💋💋💋 I'm cooking up a sequel. Hopefully I can squeeze it out by this coming Halloweird.

I appreciate all comments. The critical ones can be useful to improve my writing. In this particular case, as Comsie has instructed me in the past, when the Muse strikes you sometimes just have to go with it. When Chandler appeared in my imaginings I instantly fell in love with him. I passed him by Comsie and he seemed to like him too so I thought, maybe, he had a part in this story too. When Comsie introduced the idea that Greg had an affair with Brandon it set the mold for a possible explanation since I’d have to be covering that part of the story in the future. Such things need a background deeper than a paragraph can cover. I have, actually, been very disciplined in trying to keep my story rotation down to three stories cycling updates. I even put on hold a couple so I could work these. Chandler actually adds another facet to the Brandon/Billy saga so consider his updates a ‘bonus’ Brandon update. At the moment I have 5 other stories I have waiting in the wings including the ones I’m currently writing. Hopefully, I can get to those before I can’t type anymore.

Chandler's sentiments exactly, though maybe more diplomatic. Definitely this would be Brandon's position and Billy's I would presume.