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Paqman

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Everything posted by Paqman

  1. Awesomedude.com, Paul Jamison. They started off being almost identical to Tim by Brew Maxwell on crvboy, but set in middle England not Florida. Fortunately they went in different directions but the first chapter was a serious case of déjà vu . I don't know which was written first.
  2. Paqman

    Chapter 56

    Droughtquake, you missed another one in the "wrong pronoun" sentences, you assess a situation, not access. I just ignore most spelling mistakes, unless it's loose/lose.
  3. Paqman

    Chapter 8

    I really hope Brad doesn't meet 'vette girl, I doubt that would end well. Btw, you had a Brad Casey in chapter 4 of the first story, drove a blue Firebird. Great story. Re the movie suggestion, teenagers,street racing, music, would you call it American Gayffiti ? (Okay, I can hear the groans).
  4. Paqman

    Chapter 9

    Um, paragraphs please.
  5. Good first chapter. A couple of spelling mistakes - their for they're when talking about cowboys at the ball;out shown should be outshone when you mentioned the hotel. A missing 'were' in 'where we (were) going' to Paris. One thing that jarred slightly, Vincent using the word 'tuxedo', it's not called that in England, so I doubt he would know the word, actually, when I checked it I doubt David would use it either as then weren't called that in America till later that decade. Sorry, I have a habit of spotting things like that, suppliers at work don't like handing me catalogues because I usually tell them a couple of errors within minutes.
  6. Are C James (here) and Chris James (awesomedude.com) the same person? The latter is in the middle of posting a story at the moment.
  7. Paqman

    Chapter 1

    Hi, nice. Not sure if you can edit after posting but Randy should have said he wasn't scared, not sacred :-) .
  8. Paqman

    Chapter 10

    Another great chapter, with a very, very rare mistake. Stuart phoned Stuart?
  9. Thank you. I was hoping there was going to be an epilogue so we could find out what happened to them. The last line keeps hope alive there'll be a follow up,I wondered if they'd adopt or foster in the future, or employ a surrogate mother. Anyway, thanks for one of the best tales here.
  10. Another great chapter that I had to read in private so that people don't ask why I'm sniffling.
  11. Hope this story doesn't end until Andy gets to the state finals (sprinting).
  12. Nice double meaning "“Come on, we’ve got to go meet Terry and Kaz,” I said, not wanting to stay in the closet any longer than necessary."
  13. Another great chapter. On a technical note, this is one of the few on-line stories in which I can't remember finding a single typo, spelling mistake or misuse of a homonym.
  14. How did his T-shirt stay dry? I'd have thought that would be wet like the rest of his clothes so they'd have taken it off and put a dry one one him, possibly seeing his back. Just curious, if I didn't like the story I wouldn't have read this far.
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