Okay so where to start? I will be nice and not mention the many errors I noticed. Those don't really bother me. Now I kinda wish you hadn't went so far ahead time wise, really wanted to hear about dennis and toby during those early years lol. The style seems fine feel sorry for Seth pain and nasty medicine😜. Was cool to see the use of the warriors for kitty. I wondered if you would have them check animals. It was also nice to see that Demetrius and the gang are still around.
So I am no editor or anything but this chapter seemed to flow kinda like the later half of Makarovia sophomore year. ?? I dunno tell me lol. Anyway no rabbits here 😛. It was a great beginning chapter in my opinion.
Thank you Eric.