Hudson Bartholomew

Haha, no worries Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review!

Ryan's certainly being pushed outside his comfort zone. But he's not a pushover and he knows where his hard limits are. We'll see how close to those limits he's willing to go. Thanks for the review!

Erik's definitely got a Type A personality and doesn't quite understand why other people wouldn't want to be in the center of attention. I guess that's also the assumption a lot of people make in the entertainment industry. Thanks for the review!

Ryan tried to turn over in his own bed and groaned. Every muscle in his body ached. He didn’t remember the last time he hurt so badly—not even when he first took up boxing and had gotten beat up by the punching bag. The worst of his aches was his asshole; it was bruised and tender. Walking up the stairs to his apartment had been brutal, and he had almost collapsed in a heap by the time he reached the fifth floor. If he had it his way, he’d just curl up and never move again. But that wasn’t pos

In an attempt to address my passive voice score of 4.1%, I did a little googling this morning and came across a very informative article from The Writing Center at UNC-Chapel Hill. http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/passive-voice/ The article opens with "myths" about the passive voice, and two of them stood out to me: 1. Myth: Use of the passive voice constitutes a grammatical error. Use of the passive voice is not a grammatical error. It’s a stylistic issue that pertains to clarity—that is, there are times when using the passive voice can prevent a reader from understanding what you mean. 4. Myth: You should never use the passive voice. While the passive voice can weaken the clarity of your writing, there are times when the passive voice is OK and even preferable. Near the end of the article, it discusses three instances when it might be okay or even preferable to use the passive voice. The one that I thought was most interesting was this: 3. If your readers don’t need to know who’s responsible for the action. Here’s where your choice can be difficult; some instances are less clear than others. Try to put yourself in your reader’s position to anticipate how he/she will react to the way you have phrased your thoughts. Here are two examples: (passive) Baby Sophia was delivered at 3:30 a.m. yesterday. and (active) Dr. Susan Jones delivered baby Sophia at 3:30 a.m. yesterday. The first sentence might be more appropriate in a birth announcement sent to family and friends—they are not likely to know Dr. Jones and are much more interested in the “object”(the baby) than in the actor (the doctor). A hospital report of yesterday’s events might be more likely to focus on Dr. Jones’ role. I like these exceptions to the passive voice rule, as I feel they give me a little more leeway in writing. Sometimes I find that the active voice version of a sentence sounds clunky and awkward, whereas the passive voice gives me just enough information to move on to the next sentence. I'm by no means defending the use of passive voice as a dominant style. But throwing one or two in there once in a while can be okay, right? Does anyone else have thoughts on this?

It's all in the anticipation No definite plans yet, but I have a feeling that we'll see more of these two and their new adventures in future prompts. Thanks for the review!

pill

This is really fascinating. I had no idea Word had that function and I just ran it on the prompt I wrote this week. Flesch Reading-Ease: 81.3. Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 4. According to the article, random mommy blogs have more sophisticated writing than I do. Not entirely sure how I feel about that. But the article does point out something interesting. I often come across stories--fiction--where I think, "No one really thinks or talks like that." Probably because most people don't have inner monologues that sound like academic papers. I guess that goes to the article's point regarding fluency--a story gains more traction when the language used is on the same plain as the reader's thoughts. Or, in other words, the language is of the same level of formality (or lack thereof) that the reader uses when thinking to him/herself. So I guess I shouldn't worry too much about being less learned than mommy blogs. At the same time, though, the Word Readability Statistic function also told me that 4.1% of my sentences were passive... that's probably something I should work on.

And then I hid it somewhere he won’t find it. Except I wanted him to find it. I wanted him to find it, and use it on me, and turn me inside out with it. It was the single most terrifying thing I have ever wanted. My relationship with Daniel has always been simple, sweet vanilla and I’ve never had a problem with that. It’s all I’ve ever known and it’s always been satisfying. But I know there’s other stuff out there, stuff that is risqué, kinky even. And I would be lying if I said I hadn’t though

I also like finishing a story before I start posting it. Mostly because I usually end up going back to earlier points in the story to make major plot edits, and I can't do this if previous chapters are already posted. I also agree with Carlos about reviews highlighting what didn't work. Constructive criticism, given politely and with respect, is really useful for learning and developing as a writer. I'd like to get more of those on my stories.

Sounds like many established authors use Scrivener, so I feel like it's got to have some significant benefits over Word. Do you think using it leads to improved/better writing? Or it's more about efficiency?

omg, OW!

Wow! Thanks everyone for leaving a note! I really appreciate all the encouragement. I guess it's one of those things where the rational part of my brain says, "Yep, that's what I've been saying all along," but the emotional part wants to be a toddler and have a meltdown. Val - thanks for the kind words. And thanks for leaving so many reviews on P&P, it means a lot! glittery - I can only write in one language, so you're miles ahead of me on that one! Kitt - thanks for the sharp pencils. Can never have enough sharp pencils. Robert Rex - an interview is a great idea! I was having a severe bout of writer's block this weekend, and it wasn't until I finally sat down and asked, "What is this guy's deal?" that things finally got flowing again. Sasha - I literally laughed out loud at the image of you standing in front of a classroom of kids while Marty and Hrishi got it on! Described that way, screaming characters doesn't sound quite so appealing anymore Thanks again, everyone! Must keep writing, must keep writing, must keep writing...

I'm kind of leaning in that direction, too.

I also like the ability move scenes around, but so far that's the only function I like that I can't do in Word. Target words for each session sounds interesting and I didn't know it could do that... I'll need to go find where that is. I believe Scrivener can also assist with making changes across all scenes or searching across all scenes, which might be difficult in Word if each scene is split into different files. Have you used something like this before? Is it really as easy as they're selling it?

Hi Tim - I don't really know you and don't know your situation. But I'd like to reiterate what others have said, "Don't give up." I've never been in your position, so I don't pretend to know what it's like. I can only think to say that I think you should fill your days doing things you love and that make you happy. If that means continuing to write and post on GA, then please do! If that means doing other things, then go do that. Make every day yours.

I’ve recently begun reading blogs and listening to podcasts from published authors, with the goal of learning from their experience and being inspired to keep writing. Unfortunately, this seems to have backfired, because the more I listen to them and learn about their writing process, the more I feel like I could never do what they do. They talk about discipline, setting aside time every day to write X number of words. They talk about using various tools and software to help organize their thoughts. They talk about the importance of research. This is all fine; it’s manageable and I understand how to work these tips into my own writing habits. But then they talk about characters pestering them in their heads, itching to get out onto the page. They talk about different characters having different speech patterns. They talk about creating fake text message conversations between characters to figure out what type of emojis each would use. They talk about writing what a character sees, feels, smells and hears in each scene. They talk about character development and plot development in a way that feels unattainable to me. Honestly, characters never scream at me in my head; I have to prod them with pointy things to get them to tell me their story. I’ve tried writing different speech patterns for different characters, but when I edit, they all sound the same—they all kind of sound like me, unfortunately. I write SO SLOWLY it feels like I’m inching along while everyone zooms ahead. And while I’m constantly wishing I could forego all other responsibilities in life so I can write, whenever I sit down in front of my computer, my mind often draws a blank. I wanted to learn from these authors because I admire them; and I admire them because they’re such great writers. So it should come as no surprise to me that they’re exceptionally skilled at their craft. And I’m just starting out, so there’s obviously much for me to learn and lots of space for me to grow. But sometimes it feels so overwhelming and I don’t know where to start.

I love that you really don't like Amanda! Erik's a pushy one, but I think he can read Ryan and his limits better than most people. And Ryan's no push over either, I think he can hold his own just fine I love your reviews! Keep them coming!

Lots of porn out there looks very mechanical--insert A into B. So their goal is to make it actually look enjoyable and it seems like they were successful!

Ah! I completely missed your review, sorry for replying so late! No one is too old to say hella hot

Nope, not a pretend kiss at all

Funny that you didn't like Amanda She and Ryan have worked together for a while, so they're friends as well as co-workers. Yeah, she can be nosy, but I think it's all with good intensions.

Thanks for the review! Glad you liked the diner